Hear me Roar

North Dakota girl mourns....

2010-03-12T17:13:00.007-06:00

Is the second time going to be the charm for Republican state representative, Dave Weiler??

Last March, he was arrested for beating his wife. And then Governor, John Hoeven (along with House Majority Leader Al Carlson) promoted him to a vice chairman position on an interim legislative committee.

Charming.

One year later (aka NOW) Weiler is at it again-- last night he attacked his (soon-to-be) ex-wife in their home and fled the scene. Reports state that Nicole Weiler suffered cuts and bruising on her face. Rep. Weiler has been charged with "Simple assault."

I would just like to know where Gov. Hoeven (likely our next state senator-- sob) plans to promote Dave "Wife beating" Weiler now??

I left him a voicemail asking that VERY question -- 701-328-2200- if you'd like to do the same.

In other news...

In Bismarck, a woman was beaten to death early this morning ... by her husband... in front of their 3 year old son.

I do not know where to go with all this anger and grief.

Back -- and pissed

2009-12-01T00:57:00.005-06:00

Yeah, I've bene gone for awhile but let's cut to the chase. I'm pissed and I have a blog-- so dangit, I'm speaking out.

My old college newspaper just ran a piece of rape apologist drivel.

It has really pissed me off. So I wrote this back.

What was the point of Mr. Brorby article, “One-night standing: the Method”? Was this supposed to be edgy? A form of satire? Entertaining? I’d have to say that whatever this article way trying to be—it failed.

Call me humorless, but I don’t think it’s funny to joke about getting a woman (or anyone for that matter) into a vulnerable position in the hopes of commiting sexually assault. What I find most upsetting, besides the fact that this article was ever published. is that the online comments at the D.S. website rely heavily on blaming the victim.

I don't think it was Mr. Brorby’s intention, but his article got one thing right -- he highlighted the predatory mentality of a rapist. Too many people say that intoxicated victims deserve what they get. Well let’s be clear, it doesn’t matter how much you drink, what you wear, what you say or how you act. The only mitigating factor in an assault is proximity to a rapist. It’s cruel to suggest otherwise. Otherwise we are saying that most men would rape if presented with an opportunity.

My first job after graduating UND was with Fargo’s Rape & Abuse Crisis Center. Sometimes I would be called to the hospital to sit with victims during the rape kit exam. I held the victim's hand and sometimes I would meet with the family and friends in the waiting room. I didn’t find too much to laugh about on those days.

In many of those cases, alcohol was used to facilitate the rape. Too many times I found myself reassuring the victim or her family that this did not make it the victim’s fault. The only person to blame for the rape was the rapist. The attacker found the opportunity they were looking for—that is all.

If we really want to be edgy when we talk about rape, how about we call out the victim blaming attitudes that run rampant in our communities, schools and culture? Maybe we quit suggesting that people who look for casual sex are somehow asking for rape? Maybe we run an article from Mr. Brorby where he apologizes for being thoughtless and rubbing salt in the wounds of people like me—or worse, victims of sexual assault.

I would really like to read that article.

PS: I think it would be pertinent for Josh Brorby and any editor who allowed this to run to tender resignations immediately. This article is a blot on our school’s reputation

So even if you aren't a recent graduate like myself, please give them hell for me
dstudenteditor@und.edu,
michael.thomas@und.edu

Dane Cook -- turning a corner?

2009-05-18T22:41:00.005-05:00

(my apologies for the rough video)

Here is a transcript:

… We’re not supposed to say the word "gay" anymore. It’s hurtful. But the commercial really bugs me. Because if you’ve seen it --- It’s two girls shopping in a department store and one of them puts on a shirt and she’s like, “Hey do you like my shirt” and the friend’s like, “It looks kind of gay on you” – and then Hillary duff comes out of nowhere and is like, ‘You shouldn’t say that!”

Oh thank you Hillary duff!

Sometimes when I find myself in a life conundrum, I think, what the fuck would Hillary Duff tell me to do with my business ---- or even Haley duff?”

I think the word we need to remove from our everyday vernacular is the word “raped.”

I think the word raped gets thrown around far too casually. You ever listen to a bunch of guys playing video games with each other online? It’s like, “Ah man you shot me in the back dude. You raped me dude!”

I’m pretty sure if I talked to a woman who’s been through that horrific situation and I said, “What was it like you know being raped?" She’s not gonna look at me and go ,”Have you ever played Halo?”

I have to say I was a little blown away by this bit. Dane Cook is not a favorite in the feminist community and for good reason-- his track record is not exactly progressive, woman-friendly or (some may say) even funny.

But this piece of his show made my jaw drop. This is an argument feminists have made for some time and here he is dropping this into a comedy routine that he knows is watched (primarily) by young, adult male fans.

I kept watching the special and actually found myself enjoying parts of it-- I was especially surprised how he could be moving and funny when talking about losing both his parents to cancer.

I read this review of the show which summed it up nicely

On IsOlated INcident, Cook covers the election of a black president and what that means for race remarks, the passing of his parents, hate mail, the overuse of the word "rape," role-playing with his girlfriend and some standard observational stuff about ordering a sandwich in a restaurant. Some of it is new territory for Cook; he's never really done political humor before, and it shows. The jokes he makes about politics and race seem written less because he has something to say on the those topics than because it's the kind of stuff that other, edgier comics do. It feels a little like he's checking items off a list.

Cook fares a little better when getting personal, talking about his parents death from cancer. It's more open and honest than the comic has ever been, and it segues into a story about an angry email he got from a non-fan. That's the first time I've heard Cook acknowledge and confront the fact that there are a lot of people who don't like him. Of course, the punchline to the bit is that Cook is victorious and still more awesome than everyone -- a recurring theme in his act. I don't think I've ever heard him be self-deprecating. I guess it's not on his checklist.

Still, ISolated INcident is the best thing Cook has done in his incredibly successful career. He seems to have worked up actual material and jokes, rather than just relying on inventing catchphrases or being overly articulate and letting the roars of all-approving laughter cover up everything that's missing. If this were Cook's first special and not some back-to-basics stunt, I would say that Cook shows promise and is a comic to watch. Instead, I get the feeling it's a an exercise; a test Cook is giving himself to prove that he can do it.

To some extent, Cook is a victim of his own press. The promotional material for ISolated INcident tries to sell us on the idea that Cook has always been a risk-taker (he hasn't) and that he's totally reinventing himself on his newest album (he isn't). If INcidentwere an indication of where Cook's career is headed, I would find that promising; though far from perfect, there are some genuinely funny moments to be found. Sadly, I suspect it's just a one-off -- a press-grabbing detour before going back to his stadiums full of screaming fans.

So what do we think-- whether or not you enjoy his style of comedy, does Cook hit a positive feminist note for calling out casual use of the word "rape" or is he the same old jerk?

I have high hopes for him because lord knows he holds sway over many adolscent male minds (and I'm not just talking REAL adolescents... I mean the 20-something men who still act adolescent too!)

Dane Cook is far from perfect but I have to admit, some of his jokes have made me laugh before. If he could make his act both funny and smart... that would be something to see...

Media may induce dizziness and nausea

2009-05-02T19:46:00.010-05:00

Between going back to college, planning a wedding, looking for homes and struggling with a super busy job (all wonderful things I give you that) I've had little time to blog. But there's more pressing reasons... like for instance, with all the crap out there-- where do you start?

Sounds like Jon from Jon and Kate + 8 is cheating on his wife.
But it's okay because girls are lining up to screw him. You see, Kate is really a castrating bitch and her haircut sucks.

Then there was this gem Tyler found in the men's restroom when we were out to dinner.

In case you can't read the text on this ad, it says:
"Everybody & Everything gets older... isn't restored more exciting?"
The photo shows a rusted out, door-less bug next to an older women with gray hair and a hot car is placed next to a young, tan woman in a skimpy bikini.

**You can contact this company and let them know what you think of their advertising-- nzcustoms@integra.net

Then there's this ad that I keep seeing -- a whole new twist on the "headless fatty" thing the press loves to do. Not only are they not human, they are over-inflated beach balls. Just what I need is some self-righteous "fat is soooooo bad for you" person searching my double chin for some release valve.

Oh and don't get me started on Perez Hilton and Miss California. Could they both win America's #1 asshole and Runner-up? Seriously...

But John McCain is still a pile of stinky garbage

2009-03-17T23:40:00.002-05:00

In regards to yesterday's post where I said Meghan McCain is pretty sweet....

Her dad is still a jackass.

And suddenly I like Meghan McCain

2009-03-16T22:54:00.012-05:00

And more than ever, loathe Laura Ingraham.

Meghan McCain may not share my political point of view but I respect the hard work she did for her father's campaign (and she blogged while doing it!) And I respect any young woman who boldly steps into the world of politics today because, well... this happens...

Some back story: Meghan McCain has been writing on a blog called "The Daily Beast" and recently suggested that republicans and Dems should play nice. Conservative talk show host, Laura Ingraham took issue with this and spoke about Meghan on her show, not about her opinions (silly!), but about her body (of course).

She called McCain "a valley girl gone awry" and a "plus-sized model." Read the full transcript of Ingraham's assholery here.

***ASIDE-- Using "plus sized model" as an insult is just a total cluster of stupid-- #1 A plus size model is probably between a size 8 and 10 -- #2 Meghan McCain is beautiful and #3 Who the F**K cares even if Meghan McCain had to be wheeled around like jabba the freaking hutt?? Also, I seem to recall Laura Ingraham being one of the republican commentators that was SO UPSET about the unfair, sexist treatment Sarah Palin received. I guess republican women are only defended from sexism if they're towing the party line. Shocker!

BACK ON TASK-- The feminist community and women's online community are well aware that speaking your mind while female more often brings up comments about appearance or worse (threats of violence) than actual political discourse.

Ingraham's comment is just one more in a sea of public commentary -- political or otherwise-- that silences, mocks and demeans women for appearance. I can think of no similar situation with a male blogger or politico of any age being treated to this type of scrutiny on weight or appearance. But for women -- it's so common -- so INSANELY common that I doubt we'll hear much more on this story. Ingraham's schoolyard harassment tactics will be labeled 'no big deal,' and we'll be expected to move on.

Thank God McCain isn't taking it lying down.

Big shocker: When commenting on McCain's response, Ingraham said, “Can I say ‘lighten up,’ or is that offensive too?” She also pulled out time-honored asshole statement -- telling McCain that she needs to learn to deal with satire and “teasing.”

Word to Ingraham-- satire should be funny. Teasing should be good natured... and oh yeah, you suck! But that has nothing to do with your looks.... just your "personality."

Woman bruttaly attacked -- media sells it for entertainment

2009-01-30T11:22:00.004-06:00

*Trigger warning

It was Melissa McEwan of Shakesville who first pointed out the HIGHLY disturbing trend of reporting stories of violence against women in “odd news” section fronts. As if the murder and terrorizing of women is something novel or interesting and not a sad commentary on a violent, patriarchal society.

Today a lump caught in my throat at seeing this.

The attacker, 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley was described in the article as a “spurned lover” as if this was merely a spat between boyfriend and girlfriend and not a vicious attack. In fact, I’d go so far as to classify this as a sexual assault.

This man was convinced he had ownership of this woman’s breasts (which he undoubtedly associated with sex). I don’t care if he paid for 100 breast agumentations for this woman. He never OWNED part of her body.

Thankfully she survived 6 stab wounds and the punctured implants were repaired. Sadly, the story was filed here.

Thanks MSNBC

PS: Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.

HOW WEIRD!

I suck lately

2009-01-15T23:09:00.001-06:00

I have not been blogging here and it's totally lame.

But I did blog here.

It's about men who work as clinic escorts.

So there's that

*I know, it's still uncool*

Seriously news media???

2008-12-27T11:33:00.003-06:00

I have had it with the coverage of the "Santa killer"/"Christmas nightmare" story.

They keep running these stupid, misleading headlines and it's making me crazy! From a description like that you may think a mall Santa went nuts and starting firing on shoppers or something. It's a cheap attention grabber but it's not the real story.

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo should not be remembered as the "Santa killer" --- he should be remembered as another statistic of domestic violence.

Ironically I haven't read that phrase in any articles but I HAVE seen "marital troubles" -- as if marital troubles is in ANY WAY adequate to describe, disguising yourself to gain entry to a home full of people, including your ex wife and her friends and relatives-- shooting everyone you can and setting fire to the home.

How in the sam HELL does that equate with marital problems? Marital problems are a dying sex life or too many bills. Not an ex who stalks, terrorizes and murders you and your family.

FUCKING NEWS MEDIA.

A story like this should have "domestic violence" in the TITLE. It should be noted that women are most vulnerable when they leave their abuser. And make no mistake, this man was an abuser. I'd bet my life on it. You don't pull stunts like this without having serious issues with control, entitlement, and violence.

If you hate your ex wife, you talk shit to your friends and hire a good lawyer, you don't gun down her family -- unless you are a violent, horrible person.

Some might say, 'Perhaps he was suffering from a serious mental illness and snapped.'

Far less likely.

This man planned carefully. He had $17,000 on him and an airline ticket to Canada. And the Santa suit was not only a sick, sadistic choice... it was also a tactical one. Apparently the house he invaded used to have neighbor show up dressed as Santa. So Mr. Pardo new the suit would gain him entry. He had the gun, the bullets and the gasoline ready to go. This was not a man who snapped, this was an execution. Retribution for a woman who had left him... who had gotten away... who had escaped his control. He was going to punish her.

This is merely the hundredth or so case (this year) of a woman being murdered by her intimate partner. Domestic violence against women is an epidemic. But we don't care. Even when the horror of it smacks us in the face, we ignore it. We want to sensationalize the freak-show, carnival nature. We want to talk about SANTA committing a holiday massacre.

And we want to forget that women in this country, while less likely to be violently murdered than men, are FAR MORE LIKELY to be murdered by those they call husband, lover, boyfriend.

And THAT is way more messed up than a man in a Santa suit wielding a weapon.

/end rant

Friday Giggle

2008-12-05T09:26:00.000-06:00

Do I know why?

No....

It just makes me giggle.

A movie review and more

2008-12-03T09:01:00.012-06:00

Hello!!!

...

(hears an echo)

...

Okay!! Okay! I'm sorry. I got engaged and disappeared. I didn't even blog on the presidential election-- the freakin' presidential election!

But right around the time Melissa McEwan took a step back from blogging at Shakesville, I realized I too needed a break.

Feminism is a passion of mine but let's face it, it's not a relaxing hobby. After the election, I cut back on reading blogs (although I couldn't stay away entirely) and I stopped commenting. I read frivolous books, planned my wedding and visited family.

Everyone needs to carve out time to be happy. I can start crying over a letter from OxFam!! There's a lot of suffering in this world and while I don't advocate ignoring it -- (we should always keep up with our teaspoons) it's also important to keep a healthy balance. You can't do any good if you're miserable.

So I took a break. But I'm ready to dip my toes back in again... so I figure... let's start with some fluff.

How about a review of a movie?

STOP NOW If you don't want spoilers---

So Will Smith is Hancock, the unhappy superhero who spends most of his day drunk, laying on park benches. He flies in to "save the day" but in the process wreaks havoc (think millions of dollars in destroyed property). Citizens of LA are unamused and boo him on sight. Nancy Grace even calls for his incarceration!

In steps the public relations man, Ray, played by Jason Bateman... Hancock saves him from a train and Ray repays him by offering to revamp his image. It's decided that the city needs to "miss Hancock." So they let Hancock go to prison to make amends.

While in prison, Hancock gets in a fight with two large cons (who apparently are the dumbest people ever -- who picks a fight with an immortal superhero?) and it ends with --- brace yourself --- Hancock putting one man's head up the other man's ass. Really..... Yes you see it... I guess it was supposed to be a funny but I was disgusted. Is there not some other sophomoric violent stunt he could have pulled without evoking imagery of unconsenting anal penetration????

Ray's wife, Mary (played by Charlize Theron) dislikes Hancock more than your average person and the audience is meant to deduce there is history there.

You learn that Hancock is drunk and miserable for a reason. He woke up 80 years ago (he's immortal and doesn't age) in a hospital in Miami with no memory whatsoever and no one to claim him. He's been lonely and grasping for his past and memories all these years.

SO-- major spoiler time...

We come to find (through some very lame and hole-filled storytelling) that Mary is actually an immortal hero as well and since the dawn of time she and Hancock were lovers/partners/some variation thereof. But they were star crossed and doomed to grow weaker and vulnerable when they were together. When Hancock lost his memory all those years ago, she fled hoping to save him and herself once and for all.

So Hancock became a drunken superhero and she became... a housewife.

Nothing against housewives, but this woman can do anything. She is actually STRONGER than Hancock. She is indestructible, she can fly and she can apparently control the weather and start tornadoes. I guess we're meant to believe that after all this time she wanted to lay low. But the motivation for hiding her gift is unclear -- other than to regulate her character to helpless woman role (yes Hancock has to SAVE HER at some point). During one scene she actually hands her husband a jar to open- when he does she sighs, "Oh honey you're so strong."

And later when she is giving Hancock the 'motivation speech,' she says something like, "You were built to save humanity, to be the God's insurance policy here on Earth!"

There's no trace of irony that she too is clearly built special-- endowed with God-like powers. But no, it's only Hancock with the magnificent, heroic destiny. When he flies off to leave her (as he must for their own good), the story jumps months into the future to show that Hancock has literally flown to the moon and back and yet Mary is still walking next to her husband and son, eating ice cream like any other domestic Plain Jane.

Fine. They can't be together. It destroys their powers. But you're telling me they couldn't fight crime and do battle in separate hemispheres? And the stupidest part, Mary's husband is Hancock's PR man. He was the biggest advocate of, "Your powers give you a special role to play-- use them well." Yet, he doesn't care when his wife hides her ability and stays home to cook meatballs when the world needs saving???

Charlize Theron is an amazing actress and it's a waste to give her this cardboard role. Basically she was a plot device -- only there to connect the two male leads and occasionally wear cleavage-baring, dominatrix/superhero get-up.

And it's a bummer because as far as superhero stories go, it had originality and potential but it fell so, so flat.

Guest blogger time!

2008-11-19T11:19:00.007-06:00

From Adrienne

Sometimes, I'm not sure what to think about the society that I live in.

My state, Nebraska, has recently come into nationwide focus because of a law that came into effect in September-- The Safe Haven Law. This law states that people can bring their child and leave them at a hospital or with an on duty firefighter and not be prosecuted by law.

Nebraska is, obviously, a very conservative state. Currently, we have what is legally referred to as an 'unenforceable' abortion ban. Every Saturday I drive by a HUGE protest in front of the Planned Parenthood in my town. My sister and I used to entertain ourselves by flipping them off while we drove by, and once I escorted a terrified woman (who was not even there for an abortion or to ask about one) across the picket line so that she could get an exam done. When we passed the safe haven law, I was so proud of the state. I thought, finally, someone wants to provide an answer for women who want an abortion and cannot obtain one.

What is controversial about the law is that there is no age limit. While lawmakers have stated that it is intended for infants, to prevent babies being born in dumpsters, they left no age limit on the law so that any parent could leave their child here.

If you've been following the stories on the news, you can see what a predicament my state is now in. Over thirty children have been left here since the law came into effect in September, some from out of state. One father dropped off nine children (after his wife died and he was laid off from his job).

As an early childhood professional, it makes me sick to my stomach to think about children being abandoned by their parents. As a citizen, even as a liberal, I have to admit that it is upsetting that parents are using the safe haven act, even more so that so many have utilized the law-- and even MORE so that parents from out of the state have used the law.

However, the law was created for a reason. The law was created so that parents could leave their children rather than harming them-- and now we are upset because the law is doing exactly what it was intended for.

Yesterday I was reading an article about a woman who became the guardian to a 16 month old when his homeless mother literally put the child in her arms and then walked away. Now he is five, and suffering from an emotional disorder so severe that his guardians literally fear for their lives. She has sought help through the proper channels, got therapy, put him on medication, and, finally, looked for full-time care with an institution. But the wait list for a quality institution was 6 months at the least. So, she bought plane tickets and brought him to Nebraska, where she dropped him off at a hospital. In the article, she says that she just wanted him to get help, and this was the only way she could think of to get him help right NOW. "If it works out," She says, "I'd like to have him back."

THAT is the real travesty. The fact that it takes more than six months for a CHILD to receive necessary mental health care is morally reprehensible in this society. THAT is what we should be focusing on, NOT on repealing a law that has brought into light so many of the holes in our social services system.

It breaks my heart that children are being abandoned. I work for a child care center that exists through a grant that provides day care and living expenses for single moms. The majority of the children I interact with every day are children who were born to teenage mothers. Every single day I see parents whose lives would have been SO much easier had they had an abortion or found some way to abandon their child-- and yet they keep them, they struggle, and they make it through. Sometimes with public assistance, sometimes without. So when the public in my ridiculously conservative state says that people should understand the choice inherent behind creating a child, and the responsibility that comes with having one, I get it. I absolutely GET it. These women chose a hard road for themselves AND for their children, and I admire every single one of them for it. The goal of social services is to keep families together, and as functional as possible (if any of you grew up in a functional family, let me know).

I was so proud of my state for passing this law. Passing this law, to me, meant that Nebraska was tired of being heartbroken every time they read about a baby left in a dumpster, or a child locked in a closet, or starved to death. To me, it meant that while we are, as a whole, an anti-abortion state, we were willing to provide a choice to women that does not include a dark alley/rusty hanger, or forced motherhood.

I was so proud of the state for saying that we would be the brave light shining in the darkness for these children-- NOT for the parents-- who have so few choices, so little help, and-- obviously-- no one they can count on.

But now the public cries out that these children are not our responsibility-- that it isn't fair for us to shoulder the cost of these children. Some parents have said they abandon their children because of severe behavioral issues, and others, I'm sure, just because they didn't want to have their kids anymore. That was bound to happen. In any case-- I thank God that these children are no longer in their parent/guardians hands, even if just for a brief reprieve to get the help that they need in order to make their families functional. I pray for the lawmakers who face the decision to repeal a law that we-- obviously-- so desperately need. What would have become of these thirty-odd children without the safe haven law? Would we rather open the World Herald and read that 34 children had been starved, neglected, abused, since September?

Luke 9:48: "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me, because the one who is least among all of you is the one who is greatest."

Hmm, just a thought

2008-11-04T07:44:00.002-06:00

If Jesus can take care of his church, why do you need to write your religion into the state constitution to control the lives of others-- to stop people from acquiring equality and legal rights? This law would not force any church to marry anyone. And for the record, plenty of churches out there already perform ceremonies for same sex couples.

This law simply grants gay and lesbian people the same legal rights their heterosexual counterparts share.

Is that so hard to understand?

And just WHAT about that is comparable to Nazi Germany I'd like to know??

File this news under 'HOLY CRAP'

2008-10-30T08:14:00.003-05:00

As if my blogging hasn't gotten lax enough lately.... What with working 60 hours weeks, I've been light on A) Original posting or B) any posts at all

Well that's all about to get seriously compounded because on Tuesday, Sexy Boyfriend popped the question.

......

I know.

After 4 and a half years together, we're going to go all official style.

I'm thrilled but already letting my hyper German planning gene go into overdrive. A few things need to happen pretty quickly. Both of us have large extended families, so guest lists are being compiled and all sorts of questions need to be answered-- what type of ceremony are we comfortable with? We were both raised Christian (him Catholic, me Lutheran) and we both feel connected with a Christian theology although we are not practicing.

There's just a lot of things to think about. And a few surprises! In the past, I've found some wedding traditions horribly sexist but then I found myself on the phone with my dad and suddenly asking, "Will you give me away?" --- The minute I said it, I almost laughed out loud. That was a classic tradition that I never had any intention of participating in. But the minute I said it, I knew I meant it.

I want my father to play that role. He and I love each other but we have a challenging emotional bond that I trace back to --- I grew up, grew boobs and he became uncomfortable talking to me.

That's a moment I think we'd both like to share together. I value his guidance and support and I want him to be there to help me that day. I would gladly have my mom walk with us except I have a feeling she may be wanting a quiet pew to herself and some Kleenex.

Either way, there's all these thoughts rolling around --- how do I create a day with Tyler (sexy boyfriend needs a name now I think) that will reflect where we are at with our faith, each other, our principles and my feminism -- cause you know that's gonna factor in at some point! :)

All in all these are happy questions to be ponder but I'm just saying... I may be distracted for a bit.

If any other feminists out there have cool wedding ideas to share or you've seen something, heard of something-- please I'm all ears!

CALLING ALL FEMINISTS-- Please send your "How I managed a wedding" story!

And just in case you care.....

Palin depicted hanging from a noose-- but it's a "joke"

2008-10-28T15:10:00.004-05:00

Sick and wrong.

Someone hung up a mannequin dressed as Sarah Palin with a noose around the neck.

And then defended it by basically saying: Well I wouldn't hang an effigy of Obama cause our nation has a horrible history of lynching black people.

And apparently no history of violence against women?

I am just done with sexism in this campaign season.

TRIGGER WARNING

Read also -- Random Babble's take
and Melissa's too

Meme-tastic

2008-10-28T14:00:00.005-05:00

Thanks Ouyangdan for sending me a meme! I actually found thinking up answers really challenging- But I just hope I did it right....

Rules of the meme-- you must:

1. Link to the person who tagged you

2. Post the rules on your blog

3. Write six random things about yourself

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them

5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6. Let the instigator know when your entry is up

ONWARD...

1. I am unaware of what a meme is and have never participated in one before. :)

2. Some of my musical taste embarrasses even me. But despite myself, I will jam out to bad pop music (Toxic by Britney Spears, I'm looking at you). Some of the movies I love are also cheese-tastic but they make me happy (Father of the Bride, Steve Martin version)

3. A couple of years ago I had a SEVEN POUND cyst removed from my body. Now I am constantly paranoid that my body is growing more giant things. I wish I could get annual cat scans but don't think my insurance will cover it.

4. When I was younger I thought all my stuffed animals had feelings and felt guilty if I slept with one and not the others. I would try and cram them all in bed with me, and on at least occasion I slept on the floor to accommodate them.

5. Crying... I do it frequently. When I'm happy, sad or laughing. A lot of embarrassing things make me cry -- even kid friendly animated movies (the end of Iron Giant is a killer). The other day I got a letter urging me to send money to end the treatment of calves who will become veal. Between the photos of the baby cow in a tiny crate and reading the description, I was crying all over the place. When I was much younger, I wanted to be a liberal, feminist, pastor person. But the idea of me delivering sermons at weddings or funerals would just be out of the question.

6. I have some seriously irrational phobias. The first being I always need the toilet seat cover down. I trace this back to when my college roommate was using my hairbrush and let it fly out of her hand into the toilet. Even though we threw it away, it totally grossed me out. So now toilet seat cover is always down. Also I have this weird disgust at seeing wet paper.

Ok, now 8 places in the US that I would pick to live

1. New York City-- but only if I had the money to live the lifestyle there. A nice apartment in Manhattan and money to still eat, go to museums, see Broadway shows, pay for electricity... all that fun stuff.

2. Hershey Pennsylvania -- You're very close to landmark cities - Boston, Philly and there are cobblestone streets with Hershey Kiss shaped lights! How freaking cute would that be?

3. Portland, Oregon -- Been there twice and love the feel of it. Granola and crunchy with lots of heart.

4. Canon Beach, Oregon -- an hour from Portland, wouldn't you love having this out your back window?

5. Chicago, IL -- When I was younger my aunt lived in Racine and I'd visit her and we'd take trips to Chicago. I really liked it and it still feels Midwest-ish

6. Cedarburg, Wisconsin--- In the Midwest and historic in an almost-too-cute way. I visited it this past summer when I was helping a friend go wedding dress shopping. It was small but less than an hour from Milwaukee so you could still enjoy big city perks like shows and concerts - below is a pic I took of their town's mural.

7. Rapid City, SD- I grew up there and I LOVE the Black Hills. It may be scary republican territory (think Bill Napoli) but it is GORGEOUS.

8.I am running out of places! In high school we took a church trip to San Jose, Cali and I really liked it there. I don't think that would suck. Sorry, lame way to end but I ran out of stuff :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I tag Sarah, Christy, Dakota Women (any of their bloggers can do it!), Mahlena-Rae Johnson (of Steve the Penguin fame), --- many others who I WOULD tag have already been tagged so I'll leave it at 4 and hope the Meme-Gods don't strike me dead.

Gabrielle Union inspires me

2008-10-28T08:59:00.004-05:00

I did not know that actress Gabrielle Union was a survivor of rape. Here in her interview with Oprah, she is so well-spoken-- she talks about trusting your instincts and not going to a second location. She also advocates for better teatment for victims, no matter what part of town they are from. As a survivor from a more affluent community, Union recognized that the excellent care she received from police and rape counselors was not the norm.

I've never seen Union in a starring role in her movies. But seeing how poised and honest and brave she is in this interview, I'm willing to bet she could and should be in some bigger, harder-hitting roles.

She seems like a truly thoughtful person and I admire her so much for sharing her story.

Spotlight

2008-10-27T13:41:00.002-05:00

Check out UneFemmePlusCourageuse's blog post Vigilante Flair Patrol all about how facebook applications like bumper stickers or flair (buttons you can add to your personal webpage) serve up some horrible rape-promoting garbage.

I have been doing screenshots from time to time of insulting pieces I've seen, these are just a few...

Une provides more, and a great blog post to boot. Go visit.

Unfair

2008-10-27T09:34:00.004-05:00

The body of 7 year old Julian King has supposedly been found. He was the nephew of Jennifer Hudson. That means that in a span of days, Hudson lost her mother, brother and nephew.

I have read about and wrote about countless horrible acts of violence but this case just breaks my heart. When I try to imagine something like that happening to me- losing the most cherished people in my life, including someone so young ... I literally can no longer think. It's as if my mind has to stop myself from even IMAGINING that kind of pain.

My prayers to Jennifer and her family. May God grant them solace and peace.

Post Secret is so great

2008-10-26T13:37:00.002-05:00

If you don't go check it out, you should. It's updated every Sunday

Picture this face

2008-10-24T09:04:00.000-05:00

Sarah Palin's wardrobe firestorm

2008-10-23T09:42:00.009-05:00

I defer to wisdom from CNN's Campbell Brown

...and the wisdom of the great Melissa McEwan.

It's no secret that you should "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Well, Palin is dressing to look Presidential, so it's understandable that she wants to look sharp. Not only that, as a woman in the public eye, she HAS to look sharp.

Throughout this campaign season, the press has made it abundantly clear that it won't be cutting female politicians any slack. Article after article was written about Hillary's pantsuits, the 'is-it-there-or-not' cleavage and the choice of wardrobe colors (did that blue really flatter her?). And forget the clothes, was Clinton even HOT enough to be President? Believe it or not, it was a concern some pundits had.... Rush Limbaugh (professional asshole) wrote an entire article about Hillary, "Does Our Looks-Obsessed Culture Want to Stare at an Aging Woman?"

So needless to say, there's pressure to look flawless. Palin's already been subject to scrutiny for outdated hair or for simply appearing as she is!

However, as McEwan and Brown both point out, we can acknowledge the sexist double standard but still point out the hypocrisy that Ms. Small Town, "Real" America, Hockey Mom, Average Joe-loving Sarah Palin shops at stores (and with expense accounts) that in NO WAY reflect the average American experience.

Yes, woman are held to unfair standards but Palin dropped a LOT of cash ($150,000 over the course of 2 months) on clothes from top designers while Michelle Obama rocked a White House Black Market dress for less than $200.

And if they were just two women living their life, that information would be none of my concern.

However, Palin's campaign crux is that she sees America the way YOU do ('you' being, middle class, small town folk) and her actions continually speak otherwise.

Besides, if I were a donor to McCain's campaign (hahahah, perish the thought) I'd be just a lil' pissy that she couldn't have shopped a few sale racks.

Update: Just found a great post from Echidne on this issue.

He gets hero worship, she gets laundry

2008-10-21T09:05:00.006-05:00

Today on feministing, Jessica Valenti blogs that PlaySkool is still pushing their Rose Petal Cottage on American girls.

The pink, pastel wonder comes complete with a washer/dryer, oven, baby cradle and stuffed chair. Now there's nothing wrong with children wanting to play house or play with domestic toys. I had a tea set when I was little and I adored princess clothes and baby dolls. But sometimes my "baby" and I would be mother and daughter taking a safari through the backyard. Sometimes I'd be wearing a tiara while climbing trees and splashing in mud puddles.

I don't understand why we haven't advanced beyond this notion that kids today play a certain way based on what's between their legs.

The Rose Petal Cottage is a classic example -- it's just one female stereotype after another. A line from the sing-songie advertisement goes, "I love when my clothes get so clean, taking care of my home is a dream dream dream."

Now Playskool has put out the Sweet Lily Castle -- for $200 your daughter can be a princess complete with frog to kiss (cause every princess needs a prince). Just once I want the princess outfit to come with a throne and palm pilot to plan all your diplomatic meetings and charity events!

Again, I see nothing wrong with selling stuff like this. But when you step back (like way back) to look at the big picture. It starts to get frustrating.

Last night, I was watching TV and a ridiculous commercial came on. Sexy boyfriend and I were laughing hysterically at it, but I immediately noticed the language

It's not just that only boys are featured in the video, from the voice over, it's clear this is a boys-only toy.

"He’s steering the action"
"Everything your little hero needs" -- hero apparently meaning MALE
"His imagination is racing"

Keep in mind this is also a PlaySkool toy, the same folks that make Rose Petal Cottage and Sweet Lily Castle.

When toys mature, it's the same problem. Take a look at this image (I lifted it from Feministing who got it from Elle phd

Via Elle:

And while the "boy's" kit promises to boost your brain... the "girl's" kit promise to relax you and let you experiment with different fragrances. The boy's box is also covered with words like "go wild" and "erupt" and "blow your mind,"while the only thing that promises to be exciting about the girl's is the foaming and frothing of bubbles.

When you stop at feministing, check out even MORE examples of sexist packaging for young girls/boys products. And it starts at Playskool and just continues... actually, it probably starts the minute the doctor says, "It's a girl."

As soon as the "Helmet Heroes" commercial was done (and we were finished giggling at the dad "behind bars") I said to Sexy Boyfriend, "Why can't HER imagination be racing?"

He sort of snorted at me, "You WOULD notice that."

Yeah I would. And I'm kinda pissed that he doesn't. I get really sick of people brushing it off as 'no big deal' when we just went through an election that had some of the worst open displays of sexism and misogyny our country has seen in YEARS. Don't tell me that all these antiquated ideas about sex and gender and the so-called limitations thereof (what girls can't do etc) doesn't have REAL ramifications.

Luckily, I saw this video on CNN today about two high school girls who play football on their school team. Yes, they wear heels and like to shop but they are assets to the team and even wish they could tackle. That representation is much more truthful. Girls can still be girls (whatever that means) even while playing football in the mud, experimenting with chemistry and running for President!

Proof that we're winning

2008-10-19T18:42:00.004-05:00

A lot of people are pissed that McCain came right out and admitted that picking Palin was a "cold, calculated political move to counter the liberal feminist agenda."

I see this as proof that we're winning, folks.

Next time someone asks, "Isn't feminism dead?" We have pretty strong proof that no-- on the contrary, we're whipping politicians into a frenzy.

Apparently our cause is so threatening that McCain felt the need to pick an unqualified, untested person just because she could "counter our movement."

And lo and behold she is simply energizing our base and Obama is poised to wipe them both off the map.

Missed the debate?

2008-10-16T09:18:00.002-05:00

Watch it here

Thoughts?

I like Melissa's take on it

2 very silly thoughts from me.

#1 I wish Obama hadn't laughed so much. I realize McCain was spouting some serious crap but it can look very arrogant and rude to see the split screen and one man speaking seriously and the other one--- apparently -- laughing at him.

Also

Why does McCain have to whistle like that groundhog from Winnie the Pooh when he talks? ANNOYING.

Y94, missing the funny again

2008-10-15T09:59:00.007-05:00

When I hear/see/read something that I find unacceptable, I speak up about it. You should too.

You don't have to be rude, or full out boycott *(unless you're that pissed, in which case, hey go for it)* -- but mediums like newspaper, radio and TV are all about serving the consumer. They want you to read, watch, listen to THEIR stuff. And if they are doing something to turn people off, they want to know!

I communicated with local Top 40 radio station, Y94 once before about something that didn't sit right with me -- was it effective - meh, who knows. But I said my piece and they know that one listener took offense.

Recently, I got an updated comment to that entry saying:

I came across your blog because I was upset at something I heard on y94. Not sure if they created it, but they played it.

It was like a fake PSA, where this man was talking about hating this girl at work because she had "let herself go" and she now had a "muffin top." It ended with "This message paid for by the 'I want something nice to look at when I come into work Committee'"

I was so hurt and outraged. Who's this guy to say what's attractive? and to say that women are only at work to give him and other men "something nice to look at."

I emailed the studio... I'm not sure what else to do...

thanks for listening :)

I have not heard this ad but it sounds like a bucket of stupid. I want to commend the listener for voicing his/her concern to the station. Too often I think people feel like they have to just take hurtful or abusive images/messages because, "What can we do?"

You can speak up!! You might be mocked for having 'no sense of humor' but no one can accuse you of lacking courage.

And remember, sometimes if enough people speak up about something offensive, the good side wins!

PS: Thanks to the visitor who commented on my blog and who did a courageous thing by contacting the studio. I hope you got a pleasant response!

PROVE you were raped - NEVER smile again

2008-10-14T08:25:00.008-05:00

Post feminist society my ass.

You know-- I keep thinking they can't come up with more victim-blaming garbage... then they do! And I always think, why throw more in the mix when you can just pull out classics like, "She got drunk, it was her own fault" defense. Or the oldie but goodie, "You can't rape a slut/whore." You could go for the lesser known but usually as effective, "It's not rape, it's just people being naturally sexual or experimenting" or the fan favorite, "She wanted it (it was really consensual). Or you can always keep it real simple and say 'Women lie' -- that one almost always works.

Sometimes you don't need to even go through the work of thinking up excuses. Because there's a strong chance that our society doesn't care when they A) SEE RAPE HAPPENING or B) Actually CATCH a rapist.

With all that to back you up, why re-invent the wheel? I have no idea... perhaps just to make me crazy? For example: See this headline:

You read that right. In England a defense barrister (attorney) argued that a victim had exaggerated how upset she was after her rape. The evidence-- smiling photos of her on facebook.

...Barrister tried to persuade a judge to be lenient by showing pictures posted on the social networking site of the woman laughing and smiling at a fancy dress party in the years since the rape.

Colin McCarraher, defending, told Reading Crown Court last week: 'What we have is a person who has post traumatic stress but is quite capable of going out and having a good time at a fancy dress party.'

Mr McCarraher told the court that although he did not know when the images had been taken, they did not tally entirely with someone struggling to rebuild their life.

So if you really want justice, you better devote your entire life to misery and despair until that SOB is caught. If you crack a smile, attend a party, go to work, start a new relationship, have sex again -- it's proof that you are a liar or that you deserved it.

Apparently it didn't bother the defense that the victim had attempted suicide since her attack. Or that suggesting that because a victim of ANYTHING smiles it in someway negates the horrible thing that was done to her.

You know, someday Mr. McCarraher is going to suffer a tragedy. A family member will pass on, someone he loves will be victimized by something... I just want someone to come up to him later, catch him grinning or laughing and point a finger in his face and say "HA! I guess you're a big faker aren't you."

Just for a LIL' taste of his own medicine.

The good news here? For once the judge didn't buy the BS. The rapist, Anthony Francis was sentenced to five-and-a-half years.

Palin = "terrorist" = extremist

2008-10-11T19:50:00.004-05:00

Them's fighting words I know, but hear me out.

For the past few days I've watched Sarah Palin speak at rally after rally asking "Who is Barack Obama?" And I just want to shout at the top of my lungs, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

She goes around insinuating that Barack is a bad guy because he "pals around with terrorists." Meaning he once worked in the same organization as Bill Ayers who attacked the U.S when Obama was 8 yrs old. So guilt by association = terrorist, eh Sarah? Well watch this video and -- using her logic -- PLEASE tell me, what type of person is Sarah Palin?

Today I read on CNN that in Pennsylvania, Palin spent 10 minutes of her 30 minute speech attacking Obama's position on abortion saying,

"In times like these with wars and financial crisis, I know that it may be easy to forget even as deep and abiding a concern as the right to life, and it seems that our opponent kind of hopes you will forget that," Palin told a crowd in Johnstown. "He hopes that you won't notice how radical, absolutely radical his idea is on this, and his record is, until it's too late."

I'm glad the gloves are off, Sarah. And I hope Obama takes this opportunity to talk abortion rights, a topic he hasn't really hasn't been that strong on (in my opinion).

The majority of Americans are pro-choice. It's Palin's ideals that are radical and extreme. You remember those ideals right? She's the one that thinks you should be forced to carry a pregnangy to term, even if you were raped.... even if a family member raped you... Charming.

Yeah, not even Cindy McCain agrees with that view.

So I submit here that all evidence points to Palin being the anti-American, extremist canidate.

That's all I'm saying.

Perino = person I want to hit most right now

2008-10-10T15:38:00.005-05:00

I know, I know... violence is not the answer. But I also know I'm not the only person she's pissed off lately.

But this makes my blood boil.

From Oct 7th (FOUR DAYS AGO)

Could she be a bigger brat here folks? Is it possible? First of all her attitude is so cavalier it's disgusting.

When asked if our economy is in a recession she says:

You know I don’t think that we know. Obviously, this next quarter is probably not going to be a very good one. And we know that. But we know that the last quarter we had about a 2-percent* growth, which is not too bad. But obviously, right now we are in a very difficult situation.

When asked what has changed since February when Bush assured us "We're NOT in a recession" vs. now "maybe we're in a recession," Perino snarkily bites:

Just look at what’s happened. That’s what’s changed, is what’s happened in the market.

The reporter says:

"No, no, I’m not being flippant — I mean, I know things have changed. But he was emphatic, saying we’re not in a recession and we’re not going into one. And just last week you were standing at the podium — you and Tony stood at the podium, saying –"

MS. PERINO: I wasn’t here last week.

REPORTER: Well, the week before. Okay, let’s –

MS. PERINO: I don’t know — look, April, I don’t know if there’s — if we are in a recession right now. And in fact, there’s no one who could actually tell you if we precisely are in a recession right now.

REPORTER: All I’m just saying –

MS. PERINO: Last February, when the President was asked that question — again, if you look at the classical definition of a recession, we were not in it. That doesn’t mean that the President doesn’t understand that people are hurting, or that people are concerned about their savings accounts, or people are concerned about their retirement accounts. But it doesn’t mean that we are necessarily in a recession. And I think we should be careful about throwing around words like that until there’s actually some evidence.

Evidence like Steve Forbes saying we're in a serious recession?

Or taxpayers having to pony up 700 billion (apparently so AIG wouldn't have to cancel their spa retreat)

Or the Dow plummeting thousands of points and bouncing around like a drunk on a trampoline?

As one commenter so aptly put it:

If you are standing in a boat, and there is water around your waist, you do not have to ask anyone, “Are we sinking?”

The fact that all this goes on and the White House press secretary is STILL trying to claim "We dunno" when asked if this is a recession... it makes me see bright spots everywhere.

No Colored People-- err-- Obama supporters allowed

2008-10-10T15:25:00.001-05:00

No, the McCain campaign isn't putting out ugly energy... not at all

There is no justice....

2008-10-07T23:12:00.000-05:00

Not that desperate!

2008-10-06T14:21:00.003-05:00

So, in the middle of this huge economic tumble I am reminded of my own credit crisis. The one that started with college and then continued when I took an Americorps internship for 9 months and made about $400/month.

So I was sitting around thinking how much I hated my credit card balance and how much I wanted to start making money so I could travel and have stability and just.... be less worried.

So it occurs to me that with holiday season coming up (fast!) I could probably secure a temp job. I figured with my schedule, it'd either be waitress work or retail. The idea of serving food again nearly had me breaking out in hives. I also hated the idea of going back to retail and giving up any shot at a real holiday. Seriously, forget your turkey hangover, your ass will be in that store at 5 am day after Thanksgiving!

Naturally I was stoked to hear women in my office talking about a better job. A phone survey position that would run from now until election day. I was fuzzy on the details but was told it was something about "getting people out to vote."

Cool.

I got a call back from the company and the woman and I are yammering on when she says, "Now would you have a problem calling people and encouraging them enthusiastically to get out and vote republican this year?"

Pause.

Needless to say the rest of the conversation was a short one.

I could use the money. But I could use my soul more...

Anthology on motherhood and domestic violence seeks submissions

2008-10-05T12:18:00.004-05:00

*This isn't my project but I thought it sounded wonderful....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Call for submission of personal accounts from mothers who have survived domestic violence.

The upcoming anthology, Motherhood and Domestic Violence (working title), will explore the complexities of mothering in a violent home through stories, essays, and poems written by survivors.

Besides the cruelties inflicted upon themselves, mothers suffer the violence again as they witness the effects on their children.

They endure the torment of being unable to create a safe and loving home for their children and at the same time experience verbal and psychological abuse as their abusive partner convinces them they are a bad mother.

As many women say, “You can’t do your job as a mom if you are living in domestic violence. All your energy is taken up with mothering him or just getting through the day.”

Possible Topics:

The stories received from survivors will in large part dictate the structure of our book. We will focus on the survivor’s experience being a mother while living in violence, rather than on the impact of domestic violence on children. We are interested in thoughts, feelings, and recollections of events – whatever the survivor is willing to share about her experience.

Possible topics might include:

-- Your reactions to your children witnessing your abuse.
-- Losing or giving up custody of your children.
-- Making decisions about the abusive relationship based on what you thought was best for your children.
-- What do you wish you had done differently?
-- What do you think you did well?

Things to consider:

Writing can be wonderfully therapeutic and a lot of distressing feelings can come up in the process. We recommend that the writers be out of their domestic violence relationship and have successfully moved through the trauma stage. They should have a strong support system.

Guidelines:

• Good writing skills are helpful, but not necessary – we will work closely with contributors to polish their writings. Or, if writing your story seems too daunting, send us a tape. Mostly we are looking for the heart and wisdom of our story-tellers.
• We prefer submissions to be typed and double-spaced, but if you don’t type, please print clearly.
• Be sure to include your name, address, phone number and email address.

Remember to notify us at once if you move, change your phone number or email. (If you wish to remain anonymous, let us know and we won’t include your name in the book.)

Send your submission by either mail or email.

Include a stamped, self-addressed envelope so we can return submissions we are unable to use. Submissions without this cannot be returned.

Each contributor chosen for the anthology will receive a copy of the book when it is published.

It may take time for you to write your story. We’d like to know you are considering making a submission, however, send us a letter by March 1, 2009 with your contact information so we can offer our assistance.

Final drafts of stories, essays or poems must be postmarked on or before November 1, 2009. The final selection process will begin then.

Address your submissions to:
Mary Zelinka
PO Box 3047
Albany, Oregon
97321-0700

or email to motherhooddv@yahoo.com

Go ACLU! Sue Sue!

2008-09-30T09:31:00.010-05:00

This story makes my eyeballs burn. I'd bet serious money that this "research" they are using is seriously flawed. It's a myth I have no patience for-- this idea that boys and girls have different brains are therefor learning styles. So girls should sit quietly at desks (non-competitive atmosphere) and boys should run and play in the sunshine (cause sitting in a desk is too hard for them).

It's school-sanctioned sexism and it's bogus. Of course if you interview a young girl or boy they'll think the opposite sex is 'yucky' and want to have their own space. But when you teach children that they are different because of what's between their legs, you set a dangerous precedent.

Girls may be more socialized to sit still and be quiet. Boys may be socialized to be more aggressive. This does NOT prove that our brains are all wired by gender. There are thousands of hardcore female athletes that will tell you this.

My best friend's sister is 14 and has been a competitive athlete since she could walk. I bet she'd rather be outside running and learning too but because she's a girl, she'd be sitting at her desk. Don't tell me girls aren't competitive or aggressive ... she could kick my ass and I'm 24.

More importantly, we need to expect more from our boys. Fifty years ago schools had all students in desks, facing the teacher, listening quietly to lectures. Go even further back when education was something strictly for young men, do you think professors had them outside running relays? NO. They sat quietly in a desk.

Now, I'm not knocking these educational methods that are outside the box. I think it would be great if they took the whole class outside and had them run and play in the sunshine while learning. But acting like we have to do this because they're boys and they can't sit still is insulting!

What are you setting these children up for? In adult society, they may have to:

A) Sit at a desk and work (not always but in a great many jobs)

and

B) Work with women as equals. Women have PROVEN themselves qualified to work alongside men in every field - whether quiet desk work or physical work like construction.

If we teach children differently, we put them all at a disadvantage and set them up (especially the girls) for sexism.

Another YouTube Crush of mine

2008-09-24T08:11:00.000-05:00

Spotlight on the "republican tub of shit"

2008-09-23T08:45:00.003-05:00

I love this guy*

* from now on links will be in this blue color, I have been alerted that readers who follow me on RSS do not like the yellow links. I appreciate the feedback!

Rape on the rise in ND

2008-09-22T08:23:00.008-05:00

Ohhhhhhhh sometimes the irony is just too much. Just days after ND attorney general Wayne Stenehjem decided that a victim of gang rape deserved no justice, I see a story in today's paper talking about how aggravated assault and rape are up in North Dakota.

Gee, really?

Violent crime in my state went up 12.1 percent in 2007.

FBI stats showed that rapes in North Dakota were up 7.3 percent last year.

AG Stenehjem said this could be due to more people reporting the crime.

“New science is helpful in the area of DNA,” he said. “Victims used to think, ‘It’s just my word against my assailant’s.’”

Yes, you priggish asshole. Victims would worry about "my word against his" after seeing how you treated Nancy Peterson, a high profile victim of gang rape.

You had a complaining witness, photos showing physical evidence of violent assault (which were picked up WEEKS later, when your constituents FELT like finally doing their job)... But when it came to seeking justice for Nancy, you gave her the big middle finger.

Why?

Because she's not a pristine victim. She went into a bar looking for sex. She admitted it. She was married. She drank a lot. She went home with someone she knew.

So, it's her fault that three other men decided to take advantage of her, grab her hair, slam her body into the sink, falsely imprison her and force her to perform sex acts.

Stenehjem might as well have stamped "it's her own fault" on the case file. Instead he agreed with county attorney general, Stuart Larson saying it would be too hard to prove rape in this case.

Never mind the documented police incompetence -- leaving a crime scene unvisited for days, not interviewing attackers for near a week, forgetting to pick up evidence at the hospital, not to mention their fabulous interview skills (when dealing with a rape victim Lesson #1 is NEVER ask "why didn't you fight back?")

No, no... Stenehjem just decided to give all those involved a nice big pat on the back for a job well done. You prosecute what you can win and to hell with the future victims, right?

DNA wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference in Nancy's case. It was never a question if sexual contact occurred but rather if it was consensual.

Even though she went to the ER the next day. Even though she said "I was raped." Even though she had bruises, lacerations, and a swollen lip. Even so -- she wasn't pristine. She was unworthy of the EFFORT to do a serious investigation. She was not worth doing their job.

More irony -- the article also states that aggravated assault is up 15 percent from the last year... nearly nearly triple what it was in 1999.

Stenehjem attributes this to alcohol and thinks we should begin giving repeat drunk drivers a twice-daily breathalizer test (if they fail, they go to jail.)

But when it comes to rape rising 7.3 %, Stenehjem offers no solutions. He doesn't want programs or education regarding violence prevention and sexual assault. Nope, he just shrugs and attributes all this to "more ladyfolks coming forward to report."

Yes, I'm sure with your glowing record of competence and empathy, that must be it.

More complaining victims and DNA evidence is fucking meaningless unless we have trained officials who understand the politics of sexual assault, who will at least attempt to put their suspicion about "slutty" woman aside and do their job. Victims need to know that they aren't speaking up for nothing... that someone will listen and investigate and may even show rapists that there are consequences to their actions.

Later in the article, AG Stenehjem said, “North Dakota will maintain its status as one of the safest states in the country.”

And you will maintain your status as an out-of-touch douchebag...

Sexism against Palin

2008-09-19T14:29:00.004-05:00

This is getting frackin' ridiculous! That poor anchor!

Also -- I was wondering when some version of this story would come along -- Todd Palin: 'first dude' or 'shadow governor?'

Ah yes-- how can it be that a woman in power isn't really puppeted by her husband?

But after reading the story, some red flags are going up:

- Palin copied her husband, Todd on hundreds of state e-mails
- Todd supposeldy "has spoken to numerous government employees" regarding trooper Mike Wooten and Walt Monegan
- Republican state Senate President, Lyda Green said she has a meeting with Gov Palin and was "particularly surprised that Todd was there. I had never seen a spouse stay in the room through the meeting."

So, what do we think? Questions about Todd's involvement... sexist or sound?

Janitor uses hidden camera to spy on women showering.

2008-09-19T13:28:00.010-05:00

And miraculously this is NOT considered a sex crime.

The women's basketball team at Concordia College (Moorhead, Minn) found the video camera in their shower room and thought it was a joke. Then they hit “play” and saw images of a school custodian, Steven Sopko setting up the camera.

“My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. My body ached with the thought he had seen us,” one of the players said Thursday at a sentencing hearing for Steven Sopko.

The former janitor pleaded guilty to seven counts of interfering with privacy. He admitted that he secretly placed a camera and at least seven women were captured on video nude.

The player who discovered the camera told Judge Galen Vaa that before the incident, she considered Concordia her home.

Afterward, she said she was no longer as trusting of the faces around her.

“Now, I think twice before going down to the locker room,” said the woman. The Forum chose not to print the names of the women because of the nature of the crime.

Sopke plead guilty to gross misdemeanors and was sentenced to ONLY 350 days in jail, (plus some probation and fines and fees of $1,000). He will NOT have to register as as sex offender.

This creeps me the hell out because when I've applied for jobs, I've been asked about felony convictions, not misdemeanors... does this mean this guy could move out of state and apply to be a janitor again?

Prosecutor Brian Melton suggested that "lawmakers might consider making interfering with privacy a crime that would require offenders to register as sex offenders."

Um. YES PLEASE?

In North Dakota, a similar offense, surreptitious intrusion, can require offender registration.

At Sopko's sentencing, his attorney, Gregory Joseph described him...

...as a good father who worked 80 hours a week to provide for his four children. He is expecting a fifth child soon.

Joseph said Sopko was a community volunteer before the incident and continues to be, having recently completed 800 hours with Habitat for Humanity.

“This is not a monster,” Joseph said. “This is a person who made a very bad decision.”

I don't think building homes for Habitat for Humanity and being able to father children should let this guy off the hook. He may not be a "monster" but what he did was monstrous. He shattered these women's concept of privacy and trust. They all know he saw them. Not only that, a judge had to see it, police had to see it...

One of the players said she cannot go into a locker room or a fitting room without feeling anxiety.

Another woman said her heart stopped when she saw the camera.

“It almost felt as though we had been raped,” she said. “It was unbelievably invasive.”

Let's hope Minnesota gets their laws with the times. This was most definitely a sex crime, and Mr. Sopko deserves to live the rest of his life with that label hanging over his head.

ND victim of gang rape denied justice AGAIN

2008-09-19T09:43:00.004-05:00

Back story here

'Nancy Peterson' (an alias) has been fighting a system that ignored and blamed her for being the victim of violent gang rape.

She was improperly questioned by police... photographic evidence of the brutal crime was ignored and not even picked up for review until the state attorney general's office stepped in... The men weren't questioned for a week and the scene of the crime wasn't examined for days.

Despite all this, the North Dakota attorney general’s office has upheld the original decision to not press charges.

“I conclude that your decision not to prosecute falls within the broad discretion afforded state’s attorneys …” reads a letter from Chief Deputy Attorney General Thomas Trenbeath, who reviewed the file along with an assistant attorney general.

The County State’s Attorney Stuart Larson had originally said it was a 'lack of physical evidence, the burden of proving the sex was not consensual and contradictions between the alleged victim’s statements and those of the reported suspects were the main reasons for not filing charges.'

If you need further explanation of why this is crap, please see this.

Nancy's husband complained about the decision not to prosecute and Larson sent the file to the attorney general’s office. Larson also sent a letter asking, “Did I abuse the prosecutorial discretion of a State’s Attorney by reaching my decision not to prosecute the alleged crime?”

When word came back that the decision was upheld, Larson (*cough* smugly *cough*) told press he expected this.

Sadly, Nancy wasn't expecting much in the way of justice either. She told the newspaper, “It’s pretty much my word against theirs.”

The husband said if they were to bring a civil suit against the men allegedly involved, they would have to find a pro bono attorney. He added that if there was a settlement, they would probably donate it to an organization that works to prevent rape and counsel victims.

“We’re not after money here; we’re after justice,” he said.

On the surface, the husband took the news of the decision the hardest.

“I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it,” he said. “I don’t get it. Pretty much they’re saying my wife asked for this.”

The couple in their 30s has continually expressed frustration with how the investigation has been handled. They say the apartment should have been searched earlier to better preserve any evidence and the reported suspects should have been interviewed sooner.

The couple has filed written complaints with Mayville’s police commission, hoping local law enforcement will be somehow reprimanded. They said they’re yet to hear from the commission.

The couple, who has four children, moved out of Mayville after the alleged assault. The woman said she is still seeing a counselor and that her family is getting settled in a new home.

When Nancy was asked for a statement from a local newspaper, she texted a heartbreaking response.

I don’t blame ppl 4 not believing me its a tough story 2 swallow. I don’t lie & I hate liars I would never accuse 3 … guys with their whole lives ahead of them of something this serious if it wasn’t true. I did a stupid thing that night 4 going home with someone but I only went home with 1 guy & made it very clear I only wanted 2 b with 1 person because this issue came up a few times. I didn’t ask 2 b raped. … I wake up in cold sweats & have nightmares because of this. This has destroyed me & caused my family 2 uproot their lives & leave a town we liked. … I just want 2 move on with my life.

Spotlight

2008-09-19T08:06:00.003-05:00

Teh Portly Dyke often writes at Shakesville, but I too often forget that she has her own awesome blog. Thanks to Random Babble's Thursday blogwhoring piece, I found this, about how our generation owes a lot to the radicals who came before it -- those fighting for feminism and gay rights ... all civil rights. It's wonderfully personal and powerful:

During my first year of High School (1970), mini-skirts were still popular (well, mini-skirts or long hippy dresses -- depended on which social group you belonged to). But in any case -- dresses were not optional for school wear.

Not only did girls have to wear dresses to school, regardless of Kansas blizzards and sub-zero temperatures (Broce spoke recently in a comment thread about an experience I remember well -- wearing pants under my skirt to the bus-stop where we stood in the freezing cold until the bus came, and then having to take them off before I could board the drafty, unheated school-bus), but in my freshman year, the principal decided it was time to crack down on all us slutty girls who were wearing our skirts too short.

This crack-down resulted in a new morning routine at the school entry -- as the boys skimmed past us (the principal giving them only a cursory glance to make sure that their hair wasn't "on the collar"), all the girls in my school lined up on the stairs, the queue inching upward slowly, as, one by one, we knelt in front of His Majesty Assholyness at the top of the stairs, to assure that our hems touched the floor. (Of course, we would roll our skirt-tops up later, but only if Mr. Badass was not prowling the halls.)

At the time, I didn't really understand what I was feeling -- I didn't know that the crumbling, compressed sense of tinyness that I experienced at the beginning of every school-day that year was. . . . . humiliation. Humiliation that I had somehow earned -- because I was female.

I also did not understand that this ritual was meant to enforce that humiliation -- to burn upon my consciousness the fact that I would be obedient and compliant and kneel and face the crotch of my overlord every day as if it were the most usual thing in the world -- because it was a most reasonable request, after all -- because it was done for my own safety, so that my slutty short skirt didn't get me into "trouble".

My intellect didn't understand all of the nasty nooks and crannies of this ritual, but my psyche sensed it.

READ IT ALL HERE

Shameless stealing-- Hollywood Feminist of the day

2008-09-16T11:33:00.003-05:00

I am stealing this concept from a WONDERFUL blog that I love, love, LOURVEEEE, Women in Hollywood (go now! RIGHT NOW!) -- it's called "Hollywood Feminist of the Day" and today I award it to Megan Fox.

From her interview with GQ:

...At that time, (Megan) Fox was filming the third season of ABC’s Hope & Faith, a family-friendly sitcom......she was fed up with playing the coquettish yet chaste teen. The show was repressing her, she says, tamping down her sexuality:

“Sex is something that everyone does, so why can’t I talk about it?”

Sexual double standards make Fox angry, and when conversation turns to tabloid-flamed scandals surrounding other teen stars who’ve been photographed in various stages of nudity and semi nudity, she goes off:

“With any of the Miley Cyrus shit, or any of that Vanessa Hudgens shit—I would never issue an apology for my life and for who I am. It’s like, Oh, I’m sorry I took a naked, private picture that someone is an asshole and sold for money. I’m sorry if someone else is a dick. No. You shouldn’t have to apologize. Someone betrayed Vanessa, but no one’s angry at that person. She had to apologize. I hate Disney for making her do that. Fuck Disney.”

Can I get that on the record?

“Yeah. Fuck Disney.”

There goes your career.

“Yeah, that was probably a bad move—they own everything. But it’s not right. They take these little girls, and they put them through entertainment school and teach them to sing and dance, and make them wear belly shirts, but they won’t allow them to be their own people. It makes me sick.”

Best thing I've seen in weeks

2008-09-15T09:18:00.001-05:00

I want to be best friends with Poehler and Fey!

Selling sexism to kids

2008-09-12T11:37:00.003-05:00

It's no secret that wrestling shows are hugely popular with men. Not just adults, but plenty of young boys watch these shows and idolize their wrestlers. It's also no secret that wrestling's "plotlines" often revolve around racism, homophobia ands staggering displays of sexism.

For a great example of this, see the documentary "Wrestling with Manhood: Boys, Bullying and Battering." Now, other than that documentary (made in 2002), I watch zero professional "wrestling" on TV but-- from the looks of this... things haven't changed much.

Who better to talk politics than a roided-out, greased-up wrestler who talks about himself in the third person?

In this clip "Santino" laughs at the idea of a woman being chosen as John McCain's running mate. As if we weren't thisclose, to having a woman President in Hillary Clinton!

He claims McCain will "regret this decision" because of all the scandals coming out about Sarah Palin (good point.) But then he says, " Santino feels like he's watching an episode of desperate housewives." (sexist asshole non-point)

He also has this gem (which we've never heard before)...

Santino does not feel a woman should have a finger on the nuclear button -- what happens when Aunt Flo arrives and she doesn't get enough chocolate? Will this woman throw a tantrum? Santino knows best, ok?.... Women do not belong in the White House, except to clean the tub maybe! So please, Sarah Palin, do the world a favor... grab a dustbuster and just accpet your role okay?

Oh and that wouldn't be complete without the photoshopped photo of Palin in the Oval Office in a skanky maid's uniform.

Note to self: No offspring of mine will watch wrestling. EVER

McCain-- caught with his pants on fire

2008-09-11T11:19:00.000-05:00

Headlines and headaches

2008-09-10T10:35:00.008-05:00

Biden's in hot water for saying people who advocate for special needs kids should support stem cell research. McCain camp says Biden "sunk to a new low" because Palin's son has Down syndrome and she opposes stem cell research

Obama delivers a speech where he says McCain camp is not about change: "You know you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." McCain camp says Obama is attacking Paling and playing "gender card" -- even though when McCain talked about Clinton's health care plan he said, "I think they put some lipstick on the pig, but it's still a pig." --- Mellisa McEwan of Shakesville explains why Obama is not being sexist here and why McCain is the real pig for twisting feminism into a "funhouse mirror."

Study shows majority of black teenage girls from urban cities are uniformed of how the morning after pill works or how you get it.

In case you missed this... last month, the American Psychological Association said that women who have a single abortion do not have a higher risk of mental health problems (like depression) than women who have their babies.

Read this blog entry about men invading women's online spaces ....
then check out the reaction her post got.

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Update on ND gang rape victim

2008-09-09T09:29:00.019-05:00

File this whole mess under "expected but still upsetting."

I blogged before about a woman ("Nancy") in Mayville, (ND) who came forward saying a group of men gang raped her. The police interviewed her with asinine questions like, "Why didn't you fight back?" and then waited days to visit the apartment where a potential crime occurred. They also waited nearly a week before questioning the four men -- more than enough time for them to get a story together don't you think?

Let me ask you this... if someone came in the police station saying "I was mugged and beaten and I know the person who did it." Would officials wait days before investigating the scene of the crime? Would they wait nearly a week to speak with the accused?

The ONLY explanation for that behavior (other than police incompetence at epic levels) is that the police never believed a crime took place in the first place. This was never a priority. Never taken seriously. The victim was written off before any of this started.

Because of the lack of judgment displayed by investigators, Nancy's case was damaged and county State’s Attorney, Stuart Larson decided he will not press charges against the four men.

Can you guess why?

If you said, “inadequate evidence," give yourself a cookie.

Larson said, “You have four statements that contradict one statement.”

I guess that means that one woman says she was raped, and four men say they didn't rape her. Okay -- I guess the numbers are too overwhelming... case closed. *snark*

Larson also blamed the victim for showering and brushing her teeth-- losing physical evidence.

“I cried and took a shower and brushed my teeth. I felt so gross, used and violated,” the woman wrote in her statement for police.

Even so, Nancy's rape kit showed signs of forced, non-consensual sex including "lacerations, bruising and bleeding.”

Still, Larson said, "Even if physical evidence had been obtained, there still would be the burden of proving the sex was not consensual. Making such an argument, in this case, is a challenge since the alleged victim went into the situation seeking consensual sex."

Yeah. She sought consensual sex with ONE person. Then when another man jumped on top of her, she said, "STOP, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS"-- then it became non-consensual. I don't understand why that's so hard for Larson to comprehend. Perhaps he needs a class in semantics before he continues to represent victims?

Larson also said the case was damaged because Nancy sent her husband a text message as she was leaving the apartment, “I’m on my way home. I’m fine.”

Which could mean, "Hey, I'm alive, don't worry."

After all, one of the attackers called her husband during the attack to taunt him.

That night, Craig, who was in South Dakota where he was working with a harvesting crew, got a call from someone he thinks was one of the four men. The caller told him his wife was having sex with several men.Craig initially thought it was a prank.“I didn’t know what to believe at first,” he said. “Then, I started to think … ‘What the heck’s going on here?’ because that ain’t something my wife would do.”

Larson was also quoted as saying that the investigation unearthed “all kinds of doubt.”

Doubt that you could perform your job like a competent human being perhaps?

Mr. Larson did such a bang up job that the ND state attorney general is stepping in. This could mean nothing, the attorney general's office could still verify that Larson made the right call or ... they could actually just MAKE THE RIGHT CALL and prosecute.

Regardless of the outcome, it's clear that Larson and officers involved need a reprimand. A victim of a violent crime was interviewed and asked victim-blaming questions. Potential rapists were given days to clean up a crime scene and nearly a week to solidify their story. AND --- biggest shocker of all--- Larson LIED when he said he reviewed all the evidence.

He said he reviewed the results of a sexual assault exam, the police statements from Nancy and the men and reports from the Mayville Police, sheriff’s department and the state Bureau of Criminal Investigation.

He forgot to mention he didn't get the DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHS taken of Nancy's injuries -- bruising, bleeding & lacerations including a swollen lip. Copies of those photos weren't picked up from the evidence room of the Fargo Police Department until all of the evidence went to the state attorney general. If it weren't for Nancy's husband asking for justice, these photos would still be sitting there.

Even with this new discovery, Larson claims he made the right call. Apparently there's STILL a lack of evidence, despite ... you know... EVIDENCE. Not to mention a complaining victim.

I could have a shred of sympathy for this man if he admitted failure. Failure of epic proportions to do his job in a way that served the victim and the safety of our community. But he doesn't apologize. He continues to say that it's the victim's fault-- why? For not being perfect enough. If she had gone into the bar in a nun outfit, rather than looking for sex (as adult woman are legally allowed to do). If she had fought back like wonder woman (instead of 'letting it happen to her.") If she hadn't showered off the shame of her brutal attack (and just went and followed the rules like a robot). If she just had a better character... he could do his job and bring these men before a jury. But it's toooo harrdddddddd.

When the Grand Forks Herald called the Mayville Police to ask why the digital photographs we never picked up, their call was not returned.

Yeah. I bet it wasn't

If you would like to write a letter on behalf of "Nancy Peterson" (an alias) and the potential future rape victims of North Dakota....

click to enlarge

Stuart A. Larson
Attorney at Law
P.O. Box 847
Hillsboro, ND 58045-0847
stlarson@nd.gov

PS: Any comments on this story that blame the victim will not be published. Find yourself a rapists-r-us chatroom and get the hell off my blog.

MTV Video Music Awards 2008

2008-09-08T11:00:00.013-05:00

Some quick thoughts:

This whole opening montage creeped me out...

This "humor" didn't jive with me when I saw Superbad the first time! It's not that funny to trick a woman into unwanted sexual contact. I get that he's Jonah Hill and he's weird and awkward (and in no way in the same sphere as Britney Spears when it comes to attractiveness) but this just didn't get the yucks for me.

Also, Britney's been playing the role of sex object/fantasy figure since she was a young girl. When she "failed" to live up to that role by getting married, having kids, "gaining weight," public opinon violently turned on her. Then she had a huge mental breakdown. So yeah, where's the funny in demanding she play the willing, happy sex object again?

Sorry. Just my opinion...

Also, Jordin Sparks... the woman needs a lesson in PR. I know that's she anti-choice so it follows logically that she ascribes to other morality that puts women at a disadvantage-- for example that "chastity movement" which traditionally puts pressure on young women to equate total human value with the presence of a hymen.

During the show, host Russell Brand made off-color jokes about the Jonas Brothers having purity rings. When Sparks took the stage later she took the opportunity to rebut, not by saying that "there's nothing wrong with waiting to have sex or placing a high value on sex"... no she took a much less friendly approach.

"I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and girl wants to be a slut, OK?"

Way to call half of the kids your age sluts ... and suggesting that anyone NOT following your line of morality deserves the cruel, anti-female slur of "slut."

Not impressed with her. She's not America's Idol -- she's Phyllis Schlafly's.

The VMA's (which I only watched part of, by the way) seemed normal otherwise -- convoluted staging with stilted acceptance speeches mixed in... but everything else aside, PINK made the night worth it.

(I love me some Pink)

Also I finally realized... hmmm, this Parmore band is kinda sweet and it's led by a rocker chick... something to check out!

Sarah Haskins on Panthers

2008-09-05T13:33:00.001-05:00

Yes. Hooray.

See more Sarah Haskins awesome here

Happy Friday!

2008-09-05T08:33:00.004-05:00

Among the many silly Youtube hits out there (think numanuma and chocolate rain guy) there are some gems... And one of my favorites is the story of Christian the Lion.

The story is about two men, John Rendall and Ace Bourke who were living in London in the 60s. They saw a young lion cub in a cramped cage at a department store and decided to rescue it. Well, the rest, I'll let you watch...

In an interview with Meredith Vieira the two men talk about that beautiful moment that was captured on film.

"He ran toward us with such love and excitement in his eyes, and we felt exactly the same way. We were just so excited to see him, looking so big and healthy. The story had just turned out so beautifully, when it could have had a very different ending.”

Rendall referred to the film in describing the reunion. “You can see in that clip his body language,” he said. “When he first starts seeing us, he’s looking, looking. Is it us? Is it us? And then suddenly, he says, ‘Right, this is them.’ And down he comes. And there wasn’t a moment that we ever doubted that it was going to be a wonderful greeting … we never doubted it.”

Now Sony Pictures is trying to secure rights to make a movie based on the book Rendall and Bourke wrote in 1972, "A Lion Called Christian." That is another movie I'm definitely going to see.

HEAR ME ROAR :)

Make sure to look at the slide show of lion pictures

nom nom nom

Jon Stewart hands the GOP it's bum

2008-09-04T08:47:00.001-05:00

Sorry that this blog has been so video heavy lately... but I just HAVE TO share this wonderful wisdom.

Pointing out hypocrisy of GOP is my favorite hobby :)

I smell Oscar

2008-09-04T08:28:00.001-05:00

I cannot WAIT to see this movie

Sex Education in Mexico kicks our ass

2008-09-03T09:21:00.002-05:00

Sex Education that tackles healthy sexual practices and promotes safe relationships? Sign me up.

No surprise that the morality police want to shut the whole thing down. Never mind that studies show sexually transmitted infections are a public health concern and most teenagers are becoming sexually active at 13... best fill their head with lies and ignore them. Or tell them that as homosexuals, they are abnormal and need psychiatric help.

I hope the government and administration responsible for this safe message stays strong on the issue and doesn't back down!

RNC convention arrests

2008-09-02T14:56:00.006-05:00

I am trying to follow all this while at work and I'm just getting bits and pieces. Apparently 130 arrested protesters at the RNC convention are going to be charged with felonies. Reports are coming in that police are raiding homes at gunpoint and using projectiles, pepper spray and tear gas to disperse a crowd demonstrating near the convention site. From feministing...

Although videos now online do show blockades proceeding as originally planned, and one assault against an officer intended to intercede on a particularly rough arrest, I have yet to meet an eyewitness able to confirm the window-smashing or tire fires that supposedly brought out the National Guard.

Eyewitness accounts do, however, relay numerous tales of officers intimidating young people, refusing one woman who was suffering from heatstroke water (in fact, pouring a full bottle of it out in front of her face), violently threatening activists, and gleefully exclaiming with joy after impact rounds harm those standing by. Cops at other detainments have outright lied about the potential dangers of their weapons or actions (one told a detainee that tasers aren’t lethal in any circumstances.) Nine detainees are rumored to have been hospitalized this morning after constant calls that they receive the medical attention they require; no confirmation nor locale of hospitalization has yet been reported.

While there were some people who were using violence and vandalism, it seems as though police have stepped out of line as well. Check out feministing's coverage of the arrest of Amy Goodman.

Watch this video-- at about 1:05 you see how the police react to a group of protesters. Is it just me or does this not look like America at all but some war torn country?

The rest of these feature video and discussion of police raid of private homes where protesters were staying.

What do YOU make of this?

ND women gang raped/ignored

2008-09-02T10:37:00.016-05:00

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING.

I read this in the paper this weekend and felt sick. So be forewarned... this is an article about gang rape and it is graphic and disturbing.

The entire article is here. Sign in with the following user name and password.

In the story the victim and her husband are given aliases -- Craig and Nancy Peterson. The alleged attackers are not named. The story states that Craig and Nancy were going through martial troubles and agreed that Nancy could have an affair. She went out to a street dance looking to meet someone.

...Nancy and her friends went to a street dance in town. The group visited three bars. At the Top Hat, Nancy met a guy.

“I ran up against him, and then we just started talking,” she said. “I pretty much told him my husband cheated on me, and I was planning on cheating on him.”

A random guy in earshot expressed interest.

“No. Just one person,” Nancy fired back. “I’m not going to be with more than one person.”

The man Nancy had her sights on wound up getting in a fight. He bolted from the bar with a buddy, and she followed.

“Halfway to the house, (Nancy’s guy) got arrested, so I decided to go home with the other guy.

“… I know it’s all very bad,” Nancy said, acknowledging how others might view the situation.

It shouldn't matter if it "looked bad" but, sadly, it probably does... As the rest of the story shows, it probably made a great deal of difference in the treatment she received from police.

Nancy went home with the man and started to have consensual sex. As this was happening, the man who had been arrested earlier showed up and jumped on top of her.

The two men began assaulting her at the same time, grabbing her hair and forcing her to perform sex acts.

“That’s pretty much how it went most of the night,” she said.

Nancy conceded that she was drunk. (She recalled having at least seven drinks.) But she said she was thinking clearly enough to know this was not what she wanted.

After awhile, Nancy blacked out. She said it was likely a combination of what was happening and the alcohol. When she came to, she discovered a new man assaulting her. Nancy bluntly asked him who he was.

“And then they all started laughing,” she said.

A fourth man was asked if he wanted to get involved; Nancy screamed, “No!” The other men continued to hold her down and assault her in the dark room. None of them wore condoms, she said.

“I told them to stop. I didn’t want to do this,” Nancy wrote in her statement for the police. “They all kept switching positions and throwing me around how they wanted me.”

The fourth man stood blocking the doorway, she said.

The men had taken Nancy’s cell phone and kept it from her during the incident. Several friends tried to call her. Someone reportedly answered one of the calls and told her friend, “She’s busy,” and hung up.

That night, Craig, who was in South Dakota where he was working with a harvesting crew, got a call from someone he thinks was one of the four men. The caller told him his wife was having sex with several men.

Craig initially thought it was a prank.

“I didn’t know what to believe at first,” he said. “Then, I started to think … ‘What the heck’s going on here?’ because that ain’t something my wife would do.”

Later, three of the men left, and the third man stayed behind. When Nancy got up to go to the bathroom, he followed her.

“He pushed the bathroom door open, grabbed my hair, slammed me down on the sink and started all over again,” she said.

Eventually, he gave it up and left.

“I was the last person to leave the apartment,” Nancy said.

She then escaped to a friend's house and that morning went in to the emergency room. A nurse called police to report the rape. Nancy gave a statement and her clothing as evidence. Then she had to drive to Fargo where a sexual assault kit could be collected. The Rape & Abuse Crisis Center of Fargo stated that the kit showed signs of forced, non-consensual sex including "lacerations, bruising and bleeding.”

The incident occurred early morning on July 27 but the police did not search the apartment where the attack occurred until July 30

This is an absolute joke. Let me tell you this, Mayville is not an epicenter of crime in North Dakota. You can bet your life, those officers had time to go and preserve crime scene. For whatever reason- laziness or something more sinister- -they chose not to.

The failure of police doesn't end there I'm afraid.

On July 28, Nancy wrote a seven-page statement and was recorded on video describing the incident for the police. She was able to give names of three of the four men, including one she recalled meeting briefly before.

Nancy said the police interviewed her Aug. 1. She said Chief Stan Baker asked questions that riled her.

“He kept saying to me, ‘So, when your husband made that phone call, that’s when you decided that you didn’t want to do it anymore?’ ” Nancy said.

“I had no idea who was on the phone. I didn’t answer the phone,” she said. “I didn’t hear what they were saying, and obviously, I didn’t hear what (Craig) was saying.”

Nancy said the police asked her why she didn’t attempt to get away, why she didn’t fight back against the four men larger than her.

“Sorry, but I’m 5-2, 145. What was I supposed to do?” she asked.

One question made her especially irate.

“So, they never really physically restrained you?” Baker asked, according to Nancy.

“And I flipped,” she said.

Nancy said the police told her they had questioned the four men.

“They all admit they were there with me that night,” Nancy said. But beyond that, she said, she doesn’t know what else they told police.

Since the interview, Nancy has not had contact with the authorities. Craig said any information they’ve gotten about the investigation, they’ve had to seek out themselves.

“They haven’t gone out of their way to tell us anything,” he said.

If a family member had been murdered... hell if a store had been robbed... don't you think the police would keep the victim(s) in the loop so they have a sense that SOMETHING is being done. That people care?

Apparently Nancy doesn't warrant that kind of treatment. It is still up in the air if there will be any charges filed at this point.

Navigating this ordeal has been tough, particularly, in a town of roughly 2,000 people where rumors travel at high speed, the couple said.

Nancy said that, for a while, she blamed herself for what happened.

“It was a pretty crazy night … and I did really stupid things by even going out,” she said. “I did a lot wrong, and obviously, I’m learning that doesn’t justify that I was actually raped.”

The fact that Nancy lives in such a small town works to her disadvantage. And sad to say that sometimes with small towns, comes small minds. Take this gem-- from the Grand Forks Herald story:

Nancy said she’s been spending most of her time at home lately.

“I don’t really go anywhere … unless (Craig) is right there with me,” she said.

Nancy said she can’t stand going to the grocery store for fear of, once again, overhearing people talk about the incident. Craig said he and Nancy can hardly bring themselves to drive by the apartment where the alleged assault occurred. Nancy even quit her job as a waitress because some of the men frequent the restaurant where she worked. And, Craig said, they ran into one of the men at the gas station.

“We liked the town before. Quiet town, you know, felt safe,” he said. “We don’t want to be there anymore. This has pretty much driven us out.”

The 30-something couple, along with their four kids, ages 4 months to 14 years old, said they’re planning to leave Mayville, where they’ve lived for three years, and move out of state.

After putting my paper down, I had to take long deep breaths to keep from screaming/sobbing.

We chased a family out of our state because we'd rather blame a victim than launch a REAL investigation.

We'd rather believe that some "slutty women" get what's coming to them than ensure that women in our state aren't vulnerable to gang rape.

We'd rather pretend rape doesn't exist and therefore create a culture where rape is acceptable.

I believe this woman was attacked. I believe the authorities who "interviewed" her blamed her for it, botched their investigation and now are hanging her out to dry so that the worst among us (MR. RETIRED FARMER ASSHOLE) can say she invited this brutal attack on herself.

God damn, I'm pissed at my state.

Friday Giggle

2008-08-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

...Because damn it, I needed to laugh today!

Comedian Brian Regan on going to the Emergency Room.

"Okay you go in... tell 'em you're shot! --- Ask 'em if they validate!"

Women getting screwed over in home financing

2008-08-28T23:50:00.000-05:00

A must read article about how single women are being hit hardest in the housing crisis. Turns out women are more likely to get subprime loans even when they earn the exact same amount as men. African-American women were FIVE times more likely to get hit with subprime mortgages than white men- even when they earned double the area's median income!

Excerpt:

Several studies have shown that women -- and women of color, in particular -- are more likely than men to be targets of subprime and predatory lenders, and that many of the women who have lost their homes to foreclosure could have qualified for lower-cost loans. And although there are no data comparing foreclosure rates between men and women, subprime loans have a higher rate of default. So with foreclosures soaring, experts say women are at particular risk of losing their homes.

Shocking! Sexism and racism bites women in the ass!

Racism + Ick = BK commercial

2008-08-28T21:39:00.005-05:00

This may be old and no longer airing (I saw it on a recorded TV show on our DVR) but regardless, I'm shocked that this was EVER considered a good idea.

And it makes me sad because I like going to Burger King -- their apple fries and $1 side salad is a perfect snack.

I know Burger King has a history of stupid ads but this one is seriously making me reconsider if I should put any money in their pocket. Plus, it's not an appetite boost to see a man unhinge his jaw and swallow a triple woppher.

You Tube shows me some crazy stuff

2008-08-28T15:21:00.001-05:00

A song about Britney Spears that I found touching.

Yes, how on earth would a little boy with two mommies learn how to change the oil? Mommies never know how to do that!!!

Atta girl

2008-08-27T08:53:00.000-05:00

I love you Hillary.

"John McCain says the economy is fundamentally sound. John McCain doesn’t think that 47 million people without health insurance is a crisis. John McCain wants to privatize Social Security. And in 2008, he still thinks it’s okay when women don’t earn equal pay for equal work.

With an agenda like that, it makes sense that George Bush and John McCain will be together next week in the Twin Cities. Because these days they’re awfully hard to tell apart."

Happy Women's Equality Day!

2008-08-26T10:54:00.001-05:00

A beauty pageant for nuns?

2008-08-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

Today's crazy news comes from Rome, Italy.

A priest is organizing an online beauty pageant for nuns called "Miss Sister 2008."

The idea, which Rev. Rungi swears came from nuns "with whom he regularly prays and works," is supposedly about fighting the stereotype that they are all old and dour.

Cause there's nothing worse for a woman than being seen as old. God forbid women who devote their lives in service to their church you know... age!

The contest will be online with each webpage featuring a nun's photo as well as information on her life and vocation. It's up to the women whether to pose with the traditional veil or not.

"Nuns are a bit excluded, they are a bit marginalized in ecclesiastical life," Rungi told The Associated Press after Italian media carried reports of the idea. "This will be an occasion to make their contribution more visible."

"We are not going to parade nuns in bathing suits," Rungi said by telephone from his town of Mondragone. "But being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is gift from God, and we mustn't hide it."

WTF!

I'd like to see a riot of nuns beat this guy about the head with their rosaries. It's true that nuns are marginalized. They are schooled theologians who are not allowed to lead mass, baptize children, marry parishioners or have any real say in church leadership. That is where they need more visibility and exposure. They don't need to be paraded in front of people as a status symbol of the church's "hotness" factor. Bathing suit or not.

But what do you think?

Dear Obama

2008-08-24T15:12:00.000-05:00

I really, really, really resent you right now. You are the democratic nominee and you ran on the slogan of "hope and change." But I have no hope and I'm seeing no change. I'm seeing more of the same old.

What's worse, I'm seeing decisions that are so blatantly stupid that I'm really beginning to fear that you will lose this election in November leaving us with another poverty-ignoring, war-mongering, contraception/abortion denying asshole for the next four years.

Pull it together, dude. This shouldn't be that hard-- Bush's approval rating is tanked and McCain is an extension of Bush's failed policies. So why is McCain beating you in the polls? Why is a huge faction of the democratic party not hyped about you at all?

Because you are pandering. And there is nothing "new" in that. You need to quit pandering. Quit going out and trying to win evangelicals, pro-life votes. They are NEVER ... IN A BILLION YEARS... gonna vote for you. However, the majority of this country is pro choice and we we would love to see a President in the White House who was unabashedly pro-choice.

You have a lot of work to do. And frankly you should work your ass off because there have been A LOT of screw-ups in the last few weeks. Chief among them your INSANE in the membrane pick for VP.

Stop thinking you can EVER win this crowd:

These were the folks that showed up when Obama spoke in ND.

They hate you. They're against ending the war, universal health care and bodily autonomy for women.

YOU SHOULD BE FOR THESE THINGS. And you should be proud of it. But if you bullshit anymore about women needing their pastor or not being able to claim "mental distress" as reason to get a late abortion, or not taking a stand on when life begins you are going to lose votes that should be in your pocket. You are going to lose the election to McCain.

I will vote for you in November. Because I know that realistically it's you or McCain and I can't let McCain win. He is without a doubt, the worse of two evils. But not everyone is going to see it like that. And that's there right. It's your job to go out and get those votes.

The way I see it, your record on choice has its bright spots:

Voted NO on prohibiting minors crossing state lines for abortion. (Mar 2008)
Voted YES on expanding research to more embryonic stem cell lines. (Apr 2007)
Voted NO on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state abortions. (Jul 2006)
Voted YES on $100M to reduce teen pregnancy by education & contraceptives. (Mar 2005)
Sponsored bill providing contraceptives for low-income women. (May 2006)

McCain has no bright spots. ZERO.

However, I don't want to go into this thinking "lesser of two evils." I want to be proud of you, knowing that you stepped up to the plate for us, for progressive values. And you didn't pander. Because that's going to get you NOTHING but pissed off constituents.

Sincerely,
Tobes

Sunday Spotlight

2008-08-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

Kristin Herout is my hero.

The 23-year-old graduate student and professional photographer is replicating advertisements from Cosmopolitan, Elle and other women’s fashion magazines using “curvy” and “realistic” women to accompany a scholarly paper on the subject.

“Basically, I just want people to see what it would be like if plus-size models were represented similarly to slim models,” said Herout

Read the whole thing here.

This is why...

2008-08-22T16:18:00.000-05:00

...photographs that cut women up into body parts aren't innocent, cute fun.

When you dehumanize a woman and reduce her to parts -- just the ass for example. That is exactly what she becomes -- a piece of ass. She becomes SEX itself, not a whole, human being, a person with a name, a personality, an athlete....

This female Olympian has been cut up and 'othered' so much that she is now the acceptable icon for "sex" itself.

The article is pretty much as disgusting as you can imagine

...there were the indigenous lovelies who came to watch the competitions. And then there were the female athletes - literally thousands of them - strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing oestrogen. I spent so much time in a state of lust that I could have passed out. Indeed, for all I knew I did pass out - in a place like that how was one to tell the difference between dreamland and reality?

and then there's this

...success does not work both ways. Gold-medal winning female athletes are not looked upon by male athletes with any more desire than those who flunked out in the first round. It is sometimes even considered a defect, as if there is something downright unfeminine about all that striving, fist pumping and incontinent sweating. Sport, in this respect, is a reflection of wider society, where male success is a universal desirable whereas female success is sexually ambiguous. I do not condone this phenomenon, merely note it.

I do not have the energy at this point in a Friday to talk about all the ways in which this article is tasteless, sexist and vile. I just want to get done with work and have a big f---ing drink.

Anti-choicers LIE while claiming moral high ground-- annoying

2008-08-22T11:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the Fargo Forum newspaper had this letter to the editor:

I couldn’t get to sleep the other night. Earlier in the day, I was told that by 9:30 a.m., there were already 18 women in the abortion chamber preparing to end their child’s life.

This happening in our community is terrible. The unborn child is the most innocent of all, and here we are doing the same thing as the Nazis, taking innocent life. The pro-choicers say they only want to help the pregnant woman. Why then in South Dakota did they close their clinic after a new law concerning abortions went into effect?

This law requires the physician to tell the patient the following information:

• The abortion will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being.

• The pregnant woman has an existing relationship with that unborn human being and that the relationship enjoys protection under the U.S. Constitution and under the laws of South Dakota.

• That by having an abortion, her existing relationship and her existing constitutional right with regards to that relationship will be terminated.

• A description of all known medical risks of the procedure, including depression and related psychological stress and increased risk of suicide.

Planned Parenthood in South Dakota apparently does not believe that knowledge is good. They closed their doors for good rather than abide by the new law. The president of the regional Planned Parenthood office said “the law is one more terrible, terrible barrier.” Why are they against giving patients accurate information on abortion? I think North Dakota should follow South Dakota’s lead and get rid of the killing mill here in our midst.

I am sending a shorter letter back, but here's what I would say to McCormick if I could say it in full:

Thomas McCormick's letter to the editor (August 21st "ND should follow SD on abortion") was full of misinformation. First, the clinic in South Dakota did not close.

Second, McCormick said that abortion leads to increased risk of suicide. This is false. Just this month, the American Psychological Association released a report examining the relationship between women's mental health and abortion. It evaluated all empirical studies published in English-language peer-reviewed journals since 1989. The data revealed that choosing abortion in the first trimester was no riskier than carrying an unplanned pregnancy to term. Basically, unplanned pregnancies are stressful regardless of the outcome.

No little girl grows up saying, "I can't wait to have my first abortion." It isn't a choice anyone wants to make. But it can be a necessary one.
There are thousands of reasons why women choose abortion, and it's not chosen lightly. It's an expensive medical procedure and it carries a social stigma.

Women don't need biased rhetoric recited to them about "terminating a life." They are adults who can be trusted with complex, moral decisions. Besides, is there really any doubt that women don't comprehend what pregnancy means? Are women delivering babies and acting shocked? "I had no idea THAT was gonna happen, doctor. I wish someone told me 9 months ago that I had a baby growing inside me—I had no idea!"

Pregnancy also carries significant risk. Every year hundreds of thousands of women are diagnosed with post partum depression (who knows how many more are not diagnosed). Knowing that, do we wring our hands and write legislation forcing doctors to warn pregnant women about the psychological risk of carrying to term? Of course not!

Autonomy over one's body is a basic human right. No one could force McCormick to donate a kidney, even if someone's life hung in the balance. We do not make laws like that. Your body is not the property of the state or anyone else. If we want to reduce abortions, we must offer affordable contraceptives, sex education, and more financial options for single mothers or struggling families.

This means supporting places like Planned Parenthood and working against abstinence only education, voting down laws that have no regard to the heath and well being of women, and most importantly, voting against people like Bush. Even now, in his 11th hour in the White house, Bush has proposed that we redefine birth control as abortion, making it harder for women to access basic medical care that REDUCES the need for abortion!

Criminalizing women and pushing them back into alleyways to die alone is not the answer.

Spotlight/Friday Giggle

2008-08-22T08:37:00.000-05:00

Friday Giggle:

Tampons are evil.

I concur.

From blogger Rachel Setzer -- http://rachelsetzer.com/blog.html

Spotlight on 12 year old, Amelia Robbins who is taking on the system:

Kate Harding thinks the girl is pretty bad-ass too ;)

CNN examines sexism in the Olympics

2008-08-20T15:18:00.001-05:00

It's great to see mainstream media tackling this subject. I like to think they got the idea from feminist blogs -- many have written about sexism in the games this Olympic season.

I think it was wise not to focus the discussion on Michael Phelps as a "typical male" earner. He is an extreme case. He was America's star this year breaking records left and right, amazing story, 8 medals etc. But when you compare male/female Olympians with similar qualifications (good story, press coverage, similar medals won, records set etc) ... men STILL earn more. Much more. The pay disparity shocked the hell out of me. Nearly an 80 MILLION dollar difference between the top female and male athletes!

click to enlarge

You cannot tell me this is an accident.

The CNN discussion also touched on the longevity of medal winners. Of course the Olympics are about fulfilling dreams and showcasing athletic ability. But it's also a career move. Winning gold means getting Gold. Endorsements, jobs in sports commentary and speaking deals can make a career. Bruce Jenner, a former gold medal winner, can be seen on the reality show "Keeping up with the Kardashians" still doing speaking events for business in California. He was a hero in the 70s (athlete of the year, Wheaties Box etc) and he is STILL a hero to many today.

Women do not see that kind of long-term success. Hell, they don't even make the short-term success staples in sports-- take for example, a cover of Sports Illustrated.

From a fantastic article Sports Illustrated’s Cover Barrier: Who Will Break the Bikini Line?

So far in 2008, only one woman has made the SI cover: Swimsuit model Marisa Miller. What about 2007? Yup, just one woman again. Her name?: "Beyonce". 2006? Well, one winter Olympics issue had 6 athletes with three of them being women. In the year’s other multi-female issue there were 8 half-naked supermodels. So who was the last female athlete to grace an SI cover by herself? That would be softball player Jennie Finch in 2005.

And Finch was not photographed like her male peers-- in an action shot. She was wearing a miniskirt and the headline read, "SI Throws a Party: Jennie Finch Will be There."

One would have to go back nearly three full years, 10 bikinis, and one miniskirt before finding a female all by herself on the cover who was recognized for her athletic achievements (Danica Patrick in June 2005).

A photo of Sports Illustrated covers. Three whole years and these are the ONLY covers with women.

Is it any wonder we remember our male sports heroes longer than the women? Is it any wonder we don't take our female athletes as seriously or value them as much? When we acknowledge them, we tend to so for their beauty. We put them in a miniskirt and we tell them to "smile not sweat." We want it to be all about their woman-ness, not simply the fact that they're a kick ass athlete.

CNN briefly touched on the beauty double standard. It doesn't seem to matter if a male Olympian has classic good looks, but for women... well if she's gonna have to be in a bikini or miniskirt to grace a magazine cover, I'm betting it's still an issue.

This year plenty many great blogs have tackled the crazy differences in men's vs. women's Olympic uniforms (click that link for pics) and also the sexist coverage female medal winners receive but again this is indicative of the larger sexism that pervades against female athletes,

IN 1972, Title IX was passed mandating that public schools provide women equal opportunities to enjoy sports just like men had been doing since --- ever.

Still 36 years later, there is no equality.
--According to the Women’s Sports Foundation, U.S. men receive $133 million more in college athletic scholarships then women.
--Female pro tennis players make 37 cents for every dollar their male peers earn.
-- Only 16 percent of collegiate athletic directors are women
-- 8 percent of media coverage of sports focuses on women.
-- Some high schools schedule girls basketball games on weekday afternoons and the boys games on Friday at eight p.m.

In 2004, Sepp Blatter, president of the international soccer governing body known as FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association) suggested that female soccer players wear tighter uniforms to attract more television viewers. He also thought it would bring in money from fashion and beauty advertisers.

In 2002, The Ladies Professional Golf Association gave their players makeovers for similar reasons.

Just this year the WNBA decided that they too would 'pretty up' their players.

Feministing didn't enjoy that too much:

I'm glad CNN did this story but I'm so very, very thankful that when I started to research this post and grab links and factoids, there were so many out there. We have to report these stories, we have to speak up because it should be better and it's not just gonna "happen" one day. We're gonna have to push for it!

America the Beautiful - documentary

2008-08-19T16:21:00.000-05:00

Ignore the corny intro from these two female anchors ... the story is interesting

Cellphone ringtones for safe sex

2008-08-19T15:18:00.000-05:00

Sexy boyfriend sent me another story to blog about. Thankfully this one was far less depressing than the last one.

I kind of love it!

In India, a ringtone just launched which features the word "Condom" sung in multipart a cappella harmony. The country has approximately 2.5 million people living with HIV, and this ringtone is part of a "three-year ad offensive aimed at making condom use there more socially acceptable."

The larger campaign for condom use includes ads on television, radio, and film, and print and outdoor media. The HIV-prevention messages are expected to reach an estimated 52 million men and it's being promoted with the line, "jo samjha wohi sikander" or translated "The one who understands is a winner."

An ad promoting the ringtone shows a man at a wedding holding a cell phone and becoming embarrassed when it starts ringing "CONDOM!" However, people around him treat him as someone smart and responsible.

From the article:

"Ringtones have become such personal statements that a specially created condom ringtone seemed just the right way of combining a practical message with a fun approach," said Radharani Mitra, creative director of the BBC World Service Trust India.

The campaign is funded by a grant from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. The National AIDS Control Organization is also using the ads to support its condom promotion efforts.

The ringtone, which can be downloaded both via SMS or the Web site, has reportedly been downloaded more than 60,000 times in the last 12 days. And trust us, it's much better than that other safe-sex ringtone: "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off."

** If you link to the article, you can hear the ringtone in unedited form if you scroll to the bottom of the page...

Friday Funny - Feminists created the gays!

2008-08-15T05:00:00.002-05:00

Because there's no one better to give you advice than a man wearing a toliet seat around his neck while pointing a water gun at a cherry.

Also his desk nameplate reads "The Viking"

"If the mom wears the pants, the boys are gonna wear the skirts.... it's scientific."

Ahhhhh stupid people... always good for a laugh,

Olbermann winning me back

2008-08-14T09:44:00.001-05:00

I wasn't crazy about him for awhile, but man does he ever hit this one out of the park. It really gets going around 1:45. Thanks for speaking up on this, Keith.

via Feministing

Edwards wouldn't have cheated if dying wife would give more blow jobs

2008-08-13T10:12:00.000-05:00

Seriously. That's Rush Limbaugh's "theory" anyway (emphasis mine)

OK, we're back. Ladies and gentleman, my theory that I just explained to you about why -- you know, what could have John Edwards' motivations been to have the affair with Rielle Hunter, given his wife is smarter than he is and probably nagging him a lot about doing this, and he found somebody that did something with her mouth other than talk. I think I can back this up from her.

(emphasis mine)

If you need to hear it from the horse's (ass) mouth...

PS: He also managed to launch a sexist attack against all females competing in the Olympics

I'm in a little quicksand already today talking about how the chicks are giving us boring pictures of the female athletes from the Olympics. Because I know -- you -- the diversity crowd's going to be upset. They're going to -- "Ooh, do you mean the Olympics are just so you guys can ogle wom--" Yes, because we do not care to watch 'em compete.

Hear that, ladies?

You aren't in it for the competition, or to showcase your amazing athletic prowess and bring honor to your country. You're here to help Rush pop a boner (that is if his maid ran out and got his weekly supply of Viagra in time). **

Pathetic.

But it's Rush. We already knew that.

PS: Since when are women-- over 50% of the world's population-- the "diversity crowd."

** So that isn't JUST a cheap shot, it's true. When they caught Rush getting his illegal oxycotin supply, they also found Viagra. And he did send his maid out to get it on the street.

via

Tearjerker

2008-08-13T09:15:00.000-05:00

via the fabulous Steve the Penguin

Not Pretty Enough to be a Patriot

2008-08-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

The girl on the left is Lin Miaoke, 9. Clearly a cute girl, she has already appeared in television commercials. In the opening ceremonies at Beijing, she received a huge honor. She sang "Hymn to the Motherland" to millions of viewers around the world. Consequently she's become a young sensation, "giving interviews to all the most popular newspapers."

But it turns out Lin Miakoe was a pawn. She was used because the real singer, Yang Peiyi (on the right) wasn't pretty enough to represent her country. Because she has buck teeth.

In interviews, the musical designer said this was not the first time girls were weeded out for looks,

...A ten-year-old had originally been chosen for the quality of her voice. But she, too, had fallen by the wayside because she was not "cute" enough.

"We used her to sing in all the rehearsals," Mr Chen said. "But in the end the director thought her image was not the most appropriate, because she was a little too old. Regrettably, we had to let her go."

Too old at ten?? Not cute enough at ten?

Then they found Yang Peiyi who they thought was "flawless." Until someone brought up her teeth. But turning away little girls with obvious talent is not disgusting, sexist and hurtful. It's all about P.R.

It is a question of the national interest. It is a question of the image of our national music, our national culture.

Congrats, your natural culture looks heartless.

But, it's not like I couldn't see this same garbage happening elsewhere. I just thought the Olympics were bigger than that. About pride, honor, and bringing the world together. Turns out it's just another lesson to little girls that what matters most is your looks.

Feministing's post as well

PS: Both of these little girls are adorable

UPDATE: According to CNN, Yang Peiyi was passed up due to teeth and a face that was "too chubby" -- UGH!

Spotlight

2008-08-12T09:05:00.000-05:00

Must read. Go now and observe the awesome.

(I'm late on posting this but it's too stellar to pass up.)

Girls or Gadgets?

2008-08-12T08:18:00.000-05:00

Dating shows- all of them -- make me physically ill.

They always play on the worst stereotypes about men and women and they typically feature the most shallow, cruel and sexist people EVER. Seriously, where do they find these people? Who raised them?

Maybe you think I'm overreacting. It's fun watching the idiots on Blind Date, right? Not so much for me. I really do hate those shows. How much you ask? Well, to me they signal a coming apocalypse.

And because 'reality' TV is always upping the ante, these shows are constantly getting worse. Sexy boyfriend sent me a link the other day and said, "Have fun blogging this one" ---

Yeah, you thought it sucked when we lined up women like a meat market and picked based on biggest boobs? NOW we're throwing inanimate objects into the mix!!!**

The concept is really quite offensive to both sexes. Dating shows already had me accustomed to the idea that people were exchangable-- even for cash. But gadgets and technology as a replacement for a date/girlfriend? Kinda takes objectification to another level.

But then I forget that reality shows - specifically dating shows are evil. They say nothing about love or human connection and everything about what is wrong with humanity. It's just a game and we're all the losers. However, considering what's on TV now, I don't even know why a concept like this should surprise me.

I can tell you what doesn't surprise me... the show, Gadget or the Girl, airs on the Playboy channel.

**To be fair... I have noticed that men on dating shows are held to similar sexist standards

Right now

2008-08-08T21:50:00.001-05:00

I'm trying not to tweak out, run downstairs and start wildly pounding on the door of the garage where the "band" is practicing. Their bass player has cranked his sound. So I have been hearing the same simple bass guitar notes repeating for ... about two hours now. I'm really sick of it. It was a beautiful night and I wanted to read with the windows open. No go. Now I'm sitting here with everything shut tight and I can still hear the three notes. Over and over. Constant same rhythm. LEARN SOMETHING ELSE!!! Better yet-- just turn down your amp. Or best of all-- STOP NOW.

I am the grinch.

In other news, two men I previously admired, have really dissapointed me.

John Edwards admitted to an affair and the news of this is trumping Russia invading Georgia and the Olympics starting in China. Words cannot express my disappointment. I don't think an affair means you're a terrible person but it certainly doesn't win you any points with me. And besides the obvious hurtful betrayal of his family, it feels like a betrayal of his supporters. If you are serious about running for President you should really steer clear of CREATING huge scandals like cheating on your wife (while she battles cancer) and possibly creating illegitimate children.

Someone mentioned in the comment sections of feministing.com that this sort of news only really bothers when said cheating politician is a pubic hypocrite who for example tries to legislate morality or condemn gays for bad lifestyles (all the while screwing a young intern). I think I feel the same way. I am a remarkably forgiving person and I'm not part of his life or marriage or anything else. I so wish the media would dig at real issues the way they dig at the personal sordid details of celebs and politicians. Ultimately it doesn't matter what consenting adults do in the bedroom as long as it doesn't break laws. I'm more concerned with our CURRENT administration breaking all sorts of laws re: wiretapping and torture and creating laws that equate birth control with abortion and make it harder for Americans to get health insurance.

And... Anderson Cooper.

Don't know if you're familiar with the Anderson Cooper vs. the Lohans debacle. But it broke my heart. I used to really admire Anderson. But no more. By all means, go after Dina Lohan, she is a gross stage-mom. But when he started mocking a 14 year old girl on national TV, he lost major major points with me. Pick on someone your own size, Anderson. Seriously. Was there really nothing better to talk about?

Paris Hilton, I was wrong

2008-08-06T07:56:00.001-05:00

You actually seem quite awesome. I'm sorry I never thought so before...

Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Adfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Seriously, I think we've underestimated this gal.

Best quote EVAH!!!!

2008-08-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

Every single human being on this planet has a billboard on their abdomen that says this:

“I was once so connected with a female human body that we shared the same blood, the same oxygen, the same food. If it weren’t for that woman, I would not exist. Look – here is the evidence.”

So, if you think Feminism is not your issue...

Contemplate your fucking navel

Congratulations to PortlyDyke of Shakesville for once again writing something so kick-ass that I get the lower-lip tremble, huge doorknob in throat feeling....

Read the rest of the great post here.

Jennifer Baumgardner speaks on Abortion and Life

2008-07-31T15:03:00.001-05:00

I mentioned before how excited I was for Jennifer Baumgardner to arrive in Fargo.

Her event was fabulous and the book, "Abortion and Life" (which I was able to buy even though it hasn't had its 'big release' yet) is wonderful so far.

I did a piece on the event for Planned Parenthood's blog and I even took some videos. So if you're pro-choice, feminist or just a fan of Fargo native, Jennifer Baumgardner, go take a look.

Here's a screenshot just to entice you

North Dakota nice

2008-07-30T10:25:00.001-05:00

(For back story on this post click here)

There's a common phrase in my part of the world about people being "Minnesota nice." Essentially it means that when Midwesterns are pissed off and angry, they tend to be nice about it-- or at the least passive aggresive about it. Now, I could have been all pissy this morning. But that would just be exhausting and who has the energy for that?

Instead I wrote (what I hope) what a nice letter to Troy from Y94 and I'm pretty pleased with the dialogue we had.

My facebook message:

I was the gal who called in and jokingly referred to herself as the “token angry feminist” this morning.

Did I like today’s radio topic? No. Did that make me hate you as a person? Of course not. Just wanted to throw that out there. I worked in radio for four year and I know getting crabby callers isn't fun. Just to maybe I could explain it better....

When I hear “jokes” about “what girl’s can’t do” I always want to say SOMETHING. In this instance it was all “in good fun” but women tend to hear all too often (in serious conversations) what they aren’t equipped to do --- I was told (quite seriously) while I worked in radio that I probably wouldn't be around for much longer after they updated all the equipment because "girls can't figure out new technology." So you see, it’s not such a unique, fun topic for some of us … I realize other women may not mind, but I just wanted to voice my opinion that, “Hey, do we have to phrase it this way?” Couldn’t the same basic discussion happen differently?

I mean the way it was “Girls can’t do -----“ just leaves you open for A) tired sexist stereotypes—like the random caller who thought the “answer” was “throw a ball” or B) people like me, who just get frustrated by the question in the first place.

Furthermore, just wanted to say that you won’t pacify many feminists with the “what men can’t do” question. I’m a feminist, not a man hater, Troy! :) Please don’t confuse the two.

I don’t have a radio show, so take anything I say with a grain of salt, but I think you’d get way more interesting answers if you’d ask callers about stereotypes re: men and women. Look at common stereotypes in pop culture –like why on sitcoms is the hot wife always married to the neurotic schlubby guy?

Just wanted to say no hard feelings on my part, if you were feeling like an angry feminist was out to get you. That’s just my two cents on the matter. I’m glad you give the listeners as opportunity to contact you and let you know. It sounds like you and Megan are friends so I realize you weren’t being malicious at all --- just a message from a listener out here that I hope next time you change it up a bit. And don’t let anyone be too hard on the guys tomorrow— that’s no fun either.

He responded:

Tobes, believe me I understand your point. If you were in radio for years, I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with some chauvinist. Let me tell you about a lesson I learned at a radio convention once... a very wise programmer named Tom Joyner gave us a lecture that made the point "Know how to get to your listeners emotions".

In other words, make them mad and they'll call. Make them sad and they'll call. Make them happy and they'll call. We do all of that on any given day, and that's how we're able to get the phones to ring.

That was the purpose of our topic this morning. If you've been in radio then you probably know, Megan and I agreed to do this topic before we went on the show. I didn't just spring it on her. Matter of fact, we had a meeting yesterday and decided on it then. Megan understands I didn't mean anything I said this morning. We are friends.

BTW, we've done the "hot girls dating fat/ugly guys" topic before. You must have missed it.

I understand you have a probelm with our topic this morning. Making some woman mad and gettting them to call was the idea. So I guess we got you huh?

I don't know what you do for a living, but if you'd ever be interested in getting back into radio, we're always looking for interns, and we have a hard time finding ones that are opinionated like yourself.

No hard feelings here either. I just think you were taking our topic a little too seriously. You were the only one who called with a serious objection to the topic. The rest of the women who took issue, called and took a shot at me (in a fun way). Your call on the other hand was a little too serious, so we didn't air it.

Hey, not bad. Not bad at all. I feel like I've been heard and I wasn't called a psycho or a bitch. You know -- that's seriously saying something! Often times when you identify as a feminist and are critical of a man, that's what you get. I appreciate this guy's honesty. Radio is about ratings and we all know they could say far worse or shocking things. Plus, I like to think if I was censored for being too serious, they wouldn't air a caller who was too sexist.

Hopefully, we can all poke a little fun at ourselves and if someone raises a critical question, we can respond graciously.

That's all I ask.

Thanks Troy.

PS: Just an aside--- This is not the first time I've been cranky with local radio stations.

I am not amused, Y94

2008-07-30T07:56:00.001-05:00

So I'm listening to local Top 40 radio on the way to work today and the early show, "Morning Playhouse with Troy and Megan" is doing their normal shtick -- only today they're talking about how DJ, Megan tried to back up a trailer and ended up screwing up and scratching her car.

Troy decided that this situation should spur the morning's call-in question.... wait for it...

Call in and tell us what girls can't do!

NOooooooooo!

Now I am well aware that morning shows on the radio aren't typically the place for deep conversation, but why go that route? You're just gonna piss off the intelligent people and make the douchebags out there go "heh heh... girls can't be President, just look at Hillary" - or insert other jerkwad sexist comment.

I was intrigued to see what feedback they'd get so when I got to work, I logged on to streaming radio. Some of the calls went like...

Girl's can't:
-- give directions (to which Megan replied, "Guys ASK for directions?")
-- throw a ball
-- please a gay man (to that Troy replied, "Oh yes they can they just buy 'em a Bette Midler CD and some shoes') -- *sigh*

I struggle with this stuff. I do have a sense of humor. When I'm with my close gay friend, I joke with him that he's hit the gay career jackpot because he buys shoes for a international well-known company. When guys friend want to go see some huge explosion-fest movie, I may throw out a joke like "no thanks, I prefer something intelligent vs. a testosterone carnival!" So am I a hypocrite? I don't think so and I'll tell you why. In the company of people who know me and my politics, I feel I can be self-depricating/tease a bit more. And a big part of that is me trusting that if I ever crossed the line with a friend, they'd tell me. EG: "Okay, no more shoe jokes. I like men but that doesn't mean I qualify for every gay stereotype."

Here's the big difference... if I ever had a radio show, I would not use my time to solicit tired, lame, sexist jokes. That's just me.

My fave was when a woman called in and said, "Wow you guys just pissed off half of Fargo."

Amen. Half or Fargo and probably then some... The sexy boyfriend (tm) doesn't like those conversations any more than I do because he knows inevitably it will turn into a stereotype extravaganza of what MEN can't do (for example: ask for directions).

I decided to give a call in to voice my opinion. Shocking! I got through! So I introduced myself and apologized if I sounded like the token 'angry feminist' but I simply wanted to know why they would choose to bother with that topic. It just leaves them open to sexist comments.

Troy informed me, in a slightly UNamused voice that I needed to (wait for it...) lighten up! Obviously he was just joking and kidding with Megan and girls can obviously back up a truck. OBVIOUSLY... OBVIOUSLY...

I told him, quite pleasantly, that I didn't need to lighten up, after all... this really wasn't going to ruin the rest of my day but I thought they could discuss something more interesting/funny/valid. He informed me that tomorrow they would probably discuss "What men can't do." Oh joy. Well that makes it better.

If you want to give either one a message about a topic they COULD discuss next time -- and please make no mistake, I don't want them receiving hate mail but obviously (OBVIOUSLY) they (more specifically TROY) need some help in coming up with topics...

Megan: megan@y94.com
Troy (via facebook): http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=545003145

All hail Sarah Haskins

2008-07-29T13:07:00.000-05:00

Sarah Haskins often appears on Feminist blogs for her HILARIOUS "target women" comedy bits. Here she is in all her glory. If she's made any other Target Women sketches that I don't have, please leave links in comments.

On "women's work"

and yogurt

and bride shows

and suffrage

and botox

Pardon me while I freak out

2008-07-11T08:59:00.000-05:00

RQ, I feel your pain....

I couldn't settle down after watching this netflix movie.

Several times in the documentary people mention how strong women are and how amazing giving birth is.

I've never had children. And now I'm officially to scared to do it naturally OR in a hospital.

See, I've had major abdominal surgery and it sucked hardcore... so c-sections are out. And I think I'm dying when I have the flu, so not sure how my wimpy ass would tackle natural labor pains.

I guess that leaves adoption because I watched those women give birth vaginally and all I could think was, "UMMM, HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?"

In my neck of the woods

2008-07-10T07:41:00.001-05:00

I often read blogs and find out about some amazing event or gathering on the East/West Coast. Now there's a feminist, pro-choice event in my neck of the woods.

WHOO HOO!

So, if you are near Fargo, stop by to hear Jennifer Baumgardner, an amazing writer and filmmaker. Catch her at Zandbroz bookstore in downtown Fargo.

This is the new book she is discussing. Looks like fun!

Happy be-lated Independence Day!

2008-07-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

Well I'm a little late on this but I wanted to say Happy 4th of July and I hope you all had a good one.

I was lucky that I could spend the holiday with my family. Even though it meant driving 18 hours (round trip) and begging my mother for gas money. Actually, I didn't have to beg too much, she really wanted me to make it -- but I think I may be recruited to help clean the house one of these days. Small price to pay I suppose.

Hanging out with cousins, aunts, uncles and Grandma was a blast. Politics is not on the menu when we get together as a family. Some are conservative Christians and have Focus on the Family magazine in their bathroom (eesh) and others are progressive types. But the nice thing is we can put that aside and enjoy each other's company. I laughed so hard and ate so much good food that it could be criminal.

We also played one disastrous volleyball game where Sexy Boyfriend face planted, my uncle pulled a leg muscle, my cousin cut herself (with her own fingernails) and was bleeding and I took a volleyball in the face AND stepped in dog poop.

NO ONE in our family is coordinated (or lucky) apparently.

I'm late on this but I wanted to share the post I wrote for Planned Parenthood called Happy 4th of July! Keep supporting Reproductive Rights!

I hope whatever you were up to on the 4th of July, you were in good company.

Directing your attention

2008-07-01T16:05:00.000-05:00

HERE.

The article is called: "Destroying Hillary Clinton: How a bitter primary campaign saw the right's discredited smears gleefully revived and reused by the left"

Part II comes out tomorrow.

Headline Heartache of the day

2008-06-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Groups fight abortion for 11-year-old Romanian
Girl, who was raped by her uncle, seeks to travel to U.K. for procedure

A bone to pick

2008-06-26T16:18:00.000-05:00

I was shopping online today at Macy's in the "junior plus" section. First of all, the "regular" juniors section features pages and pages of clothes, while junior plus gets maybe two. That is lame.

Also, when I go to the junior plus page, I exepct to see junior plus-size models.

For the record, these......

... are not plus size juniors.

Just saying.

Dear Perez Hilton,

2008-06-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

You owe Denise Richards an apology. I cannot count how many times you posted pictures with the word "slut" or "whore" written on her. I know it's the Perez Hilton blog, but I've had just about enough of the misogyny, mmm' kay? And in the case of Denise Richards, it doesn't even make sense anymore. Quit making her the whipping boy -- er, girl in this situation.

Recently, voicemail messages from Charlie Sheen to Denise Richards were leaked to the press. Besides using the f-word constantly, Sheen referred to his wife as a "cunt" and a "nigger."

Sheen apologized for the racial slur "especially" since the best man at 2 of his 3 weddings (ha!) was African American. (Ahhhh, sweet. He can't be racist, he knows a black guy!)

How about an apology for leaving your ex-wife harassing voicemails and calling the mother of your two children a cunt?

There is just something so ripe with hypocrisy from a blogger who posts about ending domestic violence and day later still declares "Team Charlie" after those voicemails hit the press.

That is why I'm writing this letter. I usually enjoy Perez Hilton's blog. I do enough hardcore political reading that sometimes I want fluff. Tell me who's getting married, who's dating, what movie is flopping etc. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when Perezhilton posts music because it's stuff I've never heard of and it's usually lots of fun.

However, his affinity for picking on female celebs is tired. From suggesting (with photoshopped photos) that Rumer Willis could really use some plastic surgery, to highlighting Mischa Barton's body "flaws", to never ending attacks on Heather Mills, Lindsay Lohan, Lily Allen, Avril Lavigne, Ashlee & Jessica Simpson etc etc ... ENOUGH.

His loyal readers are not immune to this either, from the comments on one of his posts:

... Perez glorifies misogyny by calling most females he posts about "sluts", "skanks", and "whores" with no justification, and for no reason, only to pass it off as being witty and funny when it's really just cruel, and redundant. Mario, you consider yourself to be a proud spokesperson for minorities such as the gay and latino community, yet you pick on another long-oppressed group throughout the world- females- which is purely hypocritical. Shame on you. Being a latino woman myself, I would never look up to you as a latino role model because of your blatant hypocrisy and misogyny.

Amen!! There's nothing "new" or "trendy" about using sexism against women. It's been done to shame women and shut them up for centuries (for recent evidence please see Hillary Clinton's campaign for president). Moreover, it's so pathetic and unoriginal. Kids come up with this garbage every day in middle school. There is a way to dissect people's bad clothing choices without taking it there. The mean girls attitude doesn't suit you, Perez.

Perez's problem has been brought up before by Feministe and in a recent post at Shakesville, Melissa McEwan sites the growing trend of the mainstream media demonizing and using sexism against female celebs.

I'd like to think that Perez Hilton has no effect on mainstream media, but with the number of blog hits he gets, I know better. Major outlets want that type of success and notoriety as well. And they're getting it at the expense of women. Sexism against female celebs hurts us all. Even if we don't like the celeb and think they ARE a big drunk trainwreck. That doesn't mean we can turn a blind eye to the stalking paparazzi hounding for crotch-shots and ignore the small men on the internet calling them "sluts" and worse.

Perez, quit playing these these games. Do what you're good at: Be silly, be snarky and post the latest hollywood news and great music. Leave the misogyny at the door. You'll get more fans and then you'll truly be a unique voice in Hollywood.

Weekend Giggle

2008-06-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

Every time I saw this chair infomercial I freaked out -- seeing it come to life on Ellen was the best gut laugh I've had in a while.

I *heart* Ellen so much!

300th Post!!

2008-06-21T23:03:00.001-05:00

This will be my 300th post... and I am posting what superhero I am (very deep, I know)

... sounds about right though doesn't it?

Click here to take the quiz!

The Pro-Choice President

2008-06-20T09:06:00.000-05:00

I blog over at plannedparenthoodadvocate.com and consequently am privy to some cool news. For example, Planned Parenthood has created these "widgets" for facebook, myspace, blogs etc (example above). They feature a running countdown to the next pro-choice president. I have one up here right under Alice, my pet penguin (feel free to feed her fish).

Side note: I had to think awhile about posting this widget. I realize that Obama claiming the nomination for Democratic candidate was not happy news for everyone. It has caused major rifts in the progressive community. Personally, this primary season left me feeling squashed and pained as well. Several other bloggers have said it better than I could. And certainly with such difficult times immediately behind us, it's hard to feel "rah rah" at the current moment.

However, knowing what I know about John McCain, I feel I must do everything I can to see he is defeated in 2008.

John McCain has consistently voted against women. He doesn't believe women deserve equal pay much less control of their bodies. He's voted against affordable birth control and medically accurate sex ed. He proudly states that he wants Roe v. Wade overturned. I'd say he's a bigger threat to women's lives that George W. Bush. And that is pretty damn scary.

So if a pro-choice President means as much to you as it does to me, and you support Obama for '08, feel free to head to this site to download a widget to add to your internet space in support for pro-choice policies back in the White House.

Thanks to Planned Parenthood for working to put choice back in Washington!

Rape a way of life for Darfur's Women

2008-06-19T14:25:00.000-05:00

That is a headline on CNN.com right now. And I could cry right there. But instead I read the whole article and cried after that.

TRIGGER WARNING....

Sudan's Darfur crisis has exploded on many fronts -- violence, hunger, displacement and looting -- but United Nations peacekeepers say the biggest issue now affecting the region is the systematic rape of women and children.

Thousands of women -- as young as four -- caught in the middle of the struggle between rebel forces and government-backed militias have become victims of rape, they say, with some aid groups claiming it is being used as a weapon of ethnic cleansing.

"That is one of the biggest issues in Darfur -- the rapes, and crimes against women and children," says Michael Fryer, UNAMID's police commissioner, the United Nations peacekeeping force deployed to try to tackle the violence.

Relief workers say they are powerless to stop the attacks and they say if they do speak out they fear the Sudanese government will tell them to leave the country.

Humanitarian group Refugees International in a report last year said rape was "an integral part of the pattern of violence that the government of Sudan is inflicting upon the targeted ethnic groups in Darfur."

(Emphasis mine)

How can this be happening? How can human beings do this to each other? If anyone knows of groups that need funds or letter writing that needs to get done, send that info my way and I'll post it. We have do SOMETHING.

Thank heaven I was born in America. This kind of terrorism is unthinkable.

Just say NO to Dr. Phil

2008-06-18T13:03:00.000-05:00

Let me say first off that I never watch Dr. Phil at home. However, it's 85 degrees in my office today and I have nothing to do. I was feeling a coma coming on, so I ventured to YouTube, where I saw this....

I'm trying to understand. It's been my opinion for some time that Dr. Phil is a menace to society, but what's happening here is blowing my mind. If I was in this audience, I would be on my feet screaming.

"Hey asshole, you aren't talking about sex. You're talking about rape."

When you feel that women are things to go after and sex is something you take, that is rape. When you are so calculating that you drink seltzer to appear drunk and keep a woman drinking so she can't "sober up" and realize she wants to go home-- that is rape.

It's an episode called "Out of control male egos" and Dr. Phil refers to this man as a "Casanova" -- STOP IT. This man is not a gift to women, he's a threat. Even if he's not coercing sex, he is a serial objectifier. In the first few moments of this video he lays out 3 points:

"Fucking" is a commodity second only to water.

Men should be like cavemen: "Grab that woman off the street, drag her back to your lair."

"Women ultimately only care about a man's ability to pay and his ability to make love to her."

As you can imagine, with this being on YouTube there are some charming comments...

I WOULD RATHER FUCK A GIRLS BRAINS OUT THEN CHIT CHAT WITH HER. MORE POWER TO THOSE DUDES!

This is why shows like this aren't in "good fun". Because attitudes like this aren't rare. They are prevalent and dangerous. Giving these freaks a public appearance on Phil (I refuse to call him doctor anymore) just reinforces some idea that this attitude about women is "normal" or "harmless."

And hey-- I thought Phil was a guy who took people to task with his "straight talk"?? Yet this topic is a big joke. Besides the obvious bad press for women, this show is insulting to men too. By treating this guy as a "Casanova" with a big ego, they miss the point. All guys want confidence and want romantic game -- but I don't know many guys who would want to be like this jackass.

Wanting to screw anything that moves (and keeping a spreadsheet about it) has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with being a juvenile-minded asshole.

At one point, the crew puts the "Casanova cam" on him and sends him into "the lion's den" cause women are wild animals -- get it?

But it turned out to be great because they interviewed the women he hit on later. And they said, "NO I did NOT appreciate it when this strange man came up behind me and tried to touch me."

Imagine that!

How about putting THESE WOMEN on the show, Phil? Why not have a dialogue about street harassment, the culture of objectification and the dangers of men like this who think as "cavemen" and feel that they can trick women into their bed and take 'what's theirs.'

Great webcast

2008-06-17T10:28:00.000-05:00

I found a great link at Feministing's weekly reader.

It's a webcast (listen to it here) to do with online harassment against women. The panel is full of insightful and funny women who have lots of experience to share. The entire thing is over an hour long but it's worth it. At least catch the first 20 minutes where Jessica Valenti, a US blogger and founder of Feministing speaks about her most recent case of online harassment stemming from this fabulous you tube video:

I had no idea that the response to her video had been that terrifying. It made me stop and take the time to write to Jessica in support. I hope you all do the same -- jessica@feministing.com

This webcast was helpful for me, a small time blogger who deals with her fair amount of trolls. I do not post the threats or the comments that merely spew bile but I publish a fair amount of condescending snark from trolls that are along the lines of:

"Let me tell you what you DON'T understand, little lady."

Some days I get really tired of that. I mean, there's a big wide internet out there -- why can't these guys go hang with all the other misogynists? Seriously- go. They'll gripe right along with you about 'womenz and their unfair quest for equality.' But I think I agree with the webcast panel that publishing some of these comments is good because it brings together a "swarm" of other feminists who will rally.

I see that happening right now on my Answering Anonymous post. And I want to thank any and all of you who support feminist blogs and comment here. I promise to keep this space as safe as I can and I always welcome a feminist swarm :)

North Dakota's abortion clinic

2008-06-15T20:00:00.001-05:00

The one and only -- and its amazing history.

Check out the mini-documentary.

Answering Anonymous

2008-06-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

My last post was about the local Microsoft campus and their Tech Camp for young girls. I thought (and still think) this rocks hardcore.

Then I got an interesting comment from an 'anonymous' who said:

I hope they have a similar program for males! That's true equality. However, maybe males are inherently more interested in computer technology and gadgets. I know my girlfriend can't tell the difference between hi-definition tv and regular old tv.

That comment reminded me of this cartoon:

Same principle at work with Anonymous. My girlfriend doesn't understand high tech TV, therefore women in general don't understand/care. We'll come back to that later...

I think it's important to address comments like this one, which claim that whenever girls are offered an opportunity, it's somehow "reverse sexism" on young boys.

I think you'll find that's not the case. It took me two seconds on google to get a hit on an article that explained more about Microsoft tech camps. And here's what I learned :

Over 10,000 students -- boys and girls -- have taken advantage of these technology classes over the past few years. This high-tech camp focuses on girls, Dopps says, because there is a general lack of interest from women to pursue careers in high tech. (emphasis mine)

Okay, you may ask how they know that there is a lack of interest? They've seen it.

"In general, at any IT event, there is a higher percentage of boys that attend than girls," Dopps says.... "This is a way for them to be around other girls who are interested in technology and to hear from women who made careers in technology, and this will help them understand what their opportunities are and get answers to questions that they might have -- such as what steps they should take next."

Of course, when young women see that technology and science are for girls too (and hey look, here's a bunch of them that currently work in the field and enjoy it) -then yes, more girls will gain confidence in their ability and pursue a dream outside the box.

I think our generation of American women have enjoyed more freedoms and opportunities than any generation of mothers and grandmothers before us. We have legal birth control and more job opportunities and legal protections than ever before. However, there are still serious barriers.

Not enough women run for political office. Not enough women pursue their dreams in science and technology and yes we can credit some of that to sexism . There are people who believe it goes against women's nature to be interested in those male-dominated fields. There are even people who believe women aren't smart enough. So many young girls grow up playing with the Rose Petal Cottage instead of a children's chemistry set (when have you EVER seen that marketed towards girls?). We need things like Girls Tech Camp to encourage the bright minds of young girls who previously thought, (even subconsciously) that "that stuff isn't for me."

Girls consistently rate themselves lower than boys on computer ability and have less positive attitudes toward computers, according to a 1998 American Institutes for Research study, "Gender Gaps: Where Schools Still Fail Our Children. And women earn only 18 percent of doctorates awarded in computer science in the United States, according to a 1999 report in The New York Times.

So there you have it, Anonymous... maybe your girlfriend never felt particularly welcome in a tech atmosphere. Or maybe like me, it's just not her bag. But I can tell you one thing, her lack of reverence for your high-def TV has absolutely nothing to do with her woman-parts. Just sayin.

Hear me Roar

North Dakota girl mourns....

Back -- and pissed

Dane Cook -- turning a corner?

Media may induce dizziness and nausea

But John McCain is still a pile of stinky garbage

And suddenly I like Meghan McCain

Woman bruttaly attacked -- media sells it for entertainment

I suck lately

Seriously news media???

Friday Giggle

A movie review and more

Guest blogger time!

Hmm, just a thought

File this news under 'HOLY CRAP'

Palin depicted hanging from a noose-- but it's a "joke"

Meme-tastic

Gabrielle Union inspires me

Spotlight

Unfair

Post Secret is so great

Picture this face

Sarah Palin's wardrobe firestorm

He gets hero worship, she gets laundry

Proof that we're winning

Missed the debate?

Y94, missing the funny again

PROVE you were raped - NEVER smile again

Palin = "terrorist" = extremist

Perino = person I want to hit most right now

No Colored People-- err-- Obama supporters allowed

There is no justice....

Not that desperate!

Anthology on motherhood and domestic violence seeks submissions

Go ACLU! Sue Sue!

Another YouTube Crush of mine

Spotlight on the "republican tub of shit"

Rape on the rise in ND

Sexism against Palin

Janitor uses hidden camera to spy on women showering.

ND victim of gang rape denied justice AGAIN

Spotlight

Shameless stealing-- Hollywood Feminist of the day

Best thing I've seen in weeks

Selling sexism to kids

McCain-- caught with his pants on fire

Headlines and headaches

Update on ND gang rape victim

MTV Video Music Awards 2008

Sarah Haskins on Panthers

Happy Friday!

Jon Stewart hands the GOP it's bum

I smell Oscar

Sex Education in Mexico kicks our ass

MORE RNC video

RNC convention arrests

ND women gang raped/ignored

Friday Giggle

Women getting screwed over in home financing

Racism + Ick = BK commercial

You Tube shows me some crazy stuff

Atta girl

Happy Women's Equality Day!

A beauty pageant for nuns?

Dear Obama

Sunday Spotlight

This is why...

Anti-choicers LIE while claiming moral high ground-- annoying

Spotlight/Friday Giggle

CNN examines sexism in the Olympics

America the Beautiful - documentary

Cellphone ringtones for safe sex

Friday Funny - Feminists created the gays!

Olbermann winning me back

Edwards wouldn't have cheated if dying wife would give more blow jobs

Tearjerker

Not Pretty Enough to be a Patriot

Spotlight

Girls or Gadgets?

Right now