Revealing Truths

A couple of days ago I posted some “News of my area” that detailed how a 15 year old girl was attacked, dragged into the bushes and raped on her way home. I posted the article to show that violence against women is happening everyday but also to measure the reaction. A commenter called “antsy” felt the need to tell me what was the real deal.

Such gems from this commenter include insinuating:

--That I assume all victims of crime are women when I should know better. It's dangerous to be a human, not just a woman.
--To claim that it’s hard to convict a man of rape and get him any significant jail time is “sensationalized crap”
--Oh.. and Antsy knows this because he lives with a man who was “victimized” by a false accusation.

Antsy suggests his roommate was framed by a woman who changed her mind about wanting sex. He says of the trial, “Let's be serious, even if he was found innocent (he wasn't, there was barely even a trial. All she needed to do was cry before the jury), it wouldn't matter, because the general public snubs people who are even accused of rape, let alone convicted.”

First and foremost, when people are accused of rape they are snubbed, as are victims.

I don’t know your roommate. It is possible that he was wrongly convicted of sexual assault but I sincerely doubt it. It takes a lot more than a girl crying in front of the jury to send a man to jail. It takes evidence of some kind. Innocent until proven guilty, remember? And I might have trusted what you said a little more had you not spoken against women with such bitterness. You say “don't think it hasn't happened that a woman has a less than benevolent agenda and will try to spin the story to her advantage.”

Women aren’t perfect but false reporting is less likely than you might think. Statistics vary greatly I believe it would take a rather angry woman to bring false accusations.

When a rape victim comes forward there isn’t always a rape shield law in place or the defense lawyers can get around it. Coming forward as a victim of rape (directly after an attack) means
--a rape examination at the hospital. Clothes are taken as evidence, the woman's body is photographed, and she endures an invasive internal exam--- this assuming she goes directly to authorities. The next step, or first step if a woman is reporting a rape after time has passed is
--the police station…Hours spent giving reports and reliving the horror over and over again.
--Next are criminal trials that can drag on for months all the while hearing the whispers in the community.
--Finally she faces her attacker on the stand while cross examination tries to poke holes in the story… suggest that she’s lying, vindictive, insane. It’s called the nuts or sluts approach. You’re either nuts and you imagined it or you’re a slut and you deserved it.

My heart is honestly with the innocent accused victims who sit in jail. In this past year I can think of several stories where men have been released from prison because DNA evidence has proved their innocence. But please don’t act like women bring accusations of rape for fun or because it’s “in their advantage to do so.”

If you think that way, here are some facts you should probably be aware of:

--Women are 10 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate.
--Every day four women die in this country as a result of domestic violence
--Every year approximately 132,000 women report that they have been victims of rape or attempted rape, and more than half of them knew their attackers.
--It's estimated that two to six times that many women are raped, but do not report it.
--Every year 1.2 million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partners, some more than once
(Violence Against Women: A National Crime Victimization Survey Report", U.S. Department of Justice, Washington, D.C., January 1994.)

Women and girls in the world suffer from genital mutilation, dowry death, bride burning, being sold into sex trafficking not to mention rape, spousal abuse and stalking.

Antsy if you want more information:

National District Attorneys Association

Or go TO THIS SITE where you can read about a man who raped a sex worker at knifepoint to “teach her a lesson” received 6 years in jail with possibility of parole after just two years served.

Violence Against Women is more prevalent than violence against “humans in general” 80% of trafficked humans are women and victims of rape are 99% more likely to be female than male. And another sad story that illustrates the hatred and violence against women… (goes with the picture above)

National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, Sunday Dec. 4, 2005 at the Vancouver

December 6, 1989 – A lone man walked into an engineering class at the University of Montreal. He separated the women and told the men to leave. After the male students complied, the man began to shoot the women with the semi-automatic rifle he had brought with him. In the end, after 14 women were dead, Marc Lepine the man who screamed “I hate feminists” before he opened fire, took his own life.

So next time you roll your eyes at women who "cry rape" think about the facts. This doesn't mean your roommate can't be a victim, but don't come on this site and try to sell me bull that it was easy to convict him just by putting a crying woman on the stand.

Another side to the abortion story...

Click below for the ....

Hero of the Day!!!!


Check out this amazing article. Note that one woman was willing to drive more then FOUR hours for a procedure that would only take 5-10 minutes.

Also note that:
Six women said they chose abortion because they "could not afford the child."
Seven others checked the box saying "the mother did not desire to have the child."

News in my part of the world

Bismarck girl raped outside of elementary school
Associated Press
BISMARCK, N.D. - A 15-year-old girl was raped outside Rita Murphy Elementary School.

The girl was on her way home from playing basketball at the school on Saturday evening, when a man came up behind her and forced her into the bushes beside the school, according to the Bismarck Police Department.

She was sexually assaulted, and the man ran when a car approached, Lt. Dan Donlin said.

The girl described the man as a blond, white man about 30 years old with a goatee. She said he has a medium build and is about 6 foot 2 inches tall. At the time of the attack, he was wearing a black, hooded jacket.

The assault occurred between 7 and 8 p.m. on the east side of the building. The suspect fled south from the school at 611 N. 31st St.

The girl returned home and was taken to Medcenter One by her mother. Police went to the hospital at 9:40.

The school district will cooperate with police, Bismarck Superintendent Paul Johnson said Monday. The elementary schools do not have video cameras outside, like middle or high schools do.

The police do not have a suspect.

Happy news!

Check out this SITE for a cool example of how women fight back against rape.

Cartoon for the day

Click to enlarge

Pro-life protests = Good for Choice!

There is only the illusion of choice in this country. We are told, as women that we have rights to control our reproductive destiny but...

--Doctors can refuse to prescribe birth control, tell our rape victims about Emergency Contraception.
--Pharmacists can claim "right to refuse" and not fill our birth control or E.C. (which is NOT the same as the abortion pill).
--Insurance companies can refuse to cover women's contraception (even though they cover Viagra). They tell us that "fertility is normal" or "they don't want to be in an ethical firestorm."

Some women are lucky enough to have a Planned Parenthood clinic nearby. However, even these women can't access the medical information they need without being harassed.

There is a man who is harassing women in my own home state. He sits in wait outside the Fargo, North Dakota women's clinic. He snaps pictures of women and men who enter the clinic. He also takes pictures of their cars and license plate info. He posts this information on a website. He claims these people are there for the purpose of abortion --which may or may not be true.

When possible he will snap photos of nurses' ID badges so he can also post a name. This sickening site goes on, even though hundreds, including myself have emailed the blogging host asking it to be removed for the safety and privacy of the men and women using the clinic. I was told, like all the others, that there was nothing to warrant the removal of this site. So it goes on....

If you'd like to tell this man exactly what you think of his work. E-mail him here... gzf@groundzerofargo.org

It seems to me we can't guarantee women anything. Not information, access to pills, coverage for pills or even privacy when it comes to meeting with their doctors. SO WHAT IS THE GOOD NEWS?

Planned Parenthood has come up with a fabulous idea. Last year on Good Friday the St. Paul clinic was swamped with over 1,000 anti-choice protesters who harassed nurses, doctors, patients and blocked doorways. This year we say -- THE MORE THE MERRIER!

Check out this IDEA

I will be donating 10 cents per protester and am hoping for a turnout of a least 1000. So, to the anti-choicers: I do not deny your rights. Please, bring your pictures of bloody children and scream "Repent," block our doorways because for every one of you, some more of my tax deductible donations filter to the cause you so despise.

Finally Everybody wins!

Can you trust the other side?

It's hard to listen when you vehemently disagree with someone's opinion. I force myself to be quiet when I really want to shake people and say, "Are you kidding? You buy this?" And barring people who are downright offensive, I can usually listen and take in their point of view. Even if we both walk away disagreeing, it can be counted as a small victory that we were at least respectful and courteous.

I allow comments on my blog and I've only rejected a handful that were deliberate attacks on someone else who had commented. The rules of my blog are simply that people don't call out others by name and slander them. Fortunately that doesn't happen too often. But I've printed comments from people who called me a "cunty bitch" (I actually appreciate them taking the time to make "cunt" into an adjective).

What I really crave is an actual discussion. It's much easier call me "cunty bitch" than sit down and make a valid point. REAL DISCUSSION is hard to stomach.

I have a friend who is entering the priesthood. We talk on the phone and we disagree on pretty much everything. He recently sent me a book that I'm forcing myself to read, although most of it goes against everything I believe in. Why? Because it would mean a lot to him and I want to honor him by trying to see his point of view. Besides, the more you know-- the better. At least that's the motto, I live by. This woman, not so much... I stumbled upon her website:

"The Revolution" (http://myheartsrevolution.blogspot.com/)

In it, Mary Worthington details her call to arms, "On Divine Mercy Sunday in 2001, I answered God's call to dedicate my life to building a Culture of Life. These posts are careful reflections of the pro-life movement and the moral state of the world at large."

I spent some time on her site, reflecting on many of her posts, and even looking through her archives. I took the time to comment on one of her latest posts titled:

"Do women want contraception?"

In it she talks about a study conducted in Brazil where the Family and Food and Nutritional Security Unit of the Pan-American Health Organization (PAHO) determined that women in Brazil would be greatly aided by gaining access to contraception.

Mary Worthington calls this conclusion a "planned parenthood related agenda." I wonder if she's heard the stories about women in Uganda who fight over who gets the used condom they find in the alley? Women there are reduced to washing used condoms so they can protect themselves from AIDS. But Mary Worthington says that giving women means to protect themselves is "societal suicide."She says this can even lead to abuse,

"But, can't birth control be considered abuse? Men get to expect unlimited sex from women without regard for her health or the natural consequences of sex, children."

Mary says one thing I agree with. She states that women need potable water, vaccinations and protection from spousal and child abuse. Of course they do, but I would argue that being able to plan families is also crucial and no one is arguing that we give these women education on sexuality and then disappear, ignoring their obvious need for food and water.

I wrote Mary a comment for her blog. One that was free from a lot of the anger I was feeling. It was also vulgarity-free and attempted to engage her in real discussion. She has REFUSED posts from me. It is her blog, her right of course, but I noticed in reading other posts that she will post comments from people that are opposed to her views... as long as they are cruel and rude and make no real argument. People who say things like, "You are so obsessed with other people's sex lives because you don't have one of your own." Yet she refuses to publish me. Why is that you suppose?

I want to publish my reply... this is my answer to Mary Worthington's claim. Tell me if you find it inappropriate to publish?

"One must pray for women who live in those conditions with so many problems on their hands like getting clean water etc.

But I would argue that they probably would very much want access to contraception. Since they live in poverty, it would be helpful to plan their families in number and spacing. That way they could provide for the children that they have and perhaps the mother can stop being pregnant long enough to maybe even get a job and help support the family she loves so much.

Birth control is a gift from God to women AND MEN everywhere. Before birth control, what do you suppose happened to married couples when a doctor told a woman, "Don't have any more children, it could kill you." Does that mean a married couple should turn away from each other in bed and deny their physical love? Sex is not just for procreation but having sex doesn’t always mean you want a child.

Both men and women benefit from being able to enjoy sex for its emotional and physical benefits. If a child resulted from every time a married couple had sex, how could they support all these children? Not just in food, clothing, water, education but also in the woman’s medical costs?

I completely support your right to refuse contraception. If you do not want it, don’t take it, or perhaps choose natural family planning but as for myself, my friends and my daughters, we can choose family planning and we have a right to make a decision with our doctor on how we are going to do so.

In case you aren’t aware—pregnancy is extremely hard on a woman’s body especially when adequate health care is not available (in a third world country). Most women do not want 5 children under the age of 7 when there is no money to care for them.

You have a right to do with YOUR body as you choose. So do not deny other women that choice. Contraception is not being forced on anyone, not you and not me and not the women of Brazil.

Furthermore. Birth control cannot be considered abuse in any way, shape or form. If a husband is using birth control as a means of forcing sex on his wife, then that is marital rape and she is not being abused due to birth control but due to an abusive relationship."

The Abortion debate

I would never advocate abortion, but there are situations in which it is necessary. There are many reasons. Check out this website: (http://lilithfund.blogspot.com/) for examples.

There may be a case where a woman's life is at risk, her baby has severe health problems, she was a victim of rape or abuse etc.

In our society NO ONE is running around advocating abortion as a form of birth control. Abortion is a medical procedure that carries risk and it can leave women emotionally scarred. And yet-- with all that, women still get abortions, just as they have been doing for thousands of years. Why? Because they believe it is their best option. If you take away this right, not only will women turn to back alley abortions but you also devalue a woman as a person, making the fetus, not the woman the important factor and you also make grave assumptions about a woman's ability to rightly govern her own life.

By revoking Roe, we tell women...

We don't trust you. Nor do we find you morally capable to make this important decision about your life and body. Since you have clearly demonstrated your inferiority by getting yourself into "this situation" we are going to take over now. We will impose our best judgment so we can make sure the correct decisions are made.

Do you not see the problem in telling a woman she is not mentally or morally equipped to make the best decision? What else are these people going to decide for us? When to fulfill our birth control (that's already happening). When our cry of rape is really justified (senator in Rapid City already has a great method for discering real victims... see post on "The war on sex").

And not just women should be worried...

Are people suffering from Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease going to be ignored when stem cell research is available to heighten their quality of life (clearly the answer is yes). What if you are injured so severely that you have no brain function? Is someone in government going to tell your family when it's okay to let you go in peace?

We cannot let our government be bought or bullied by a small minority of ultra-conservative, sex-police. What's next? We come up with ways to medically "reform" homosexuals. How about opening a squad of sex police to patrol our streets? Look out-- no oral sex or god forbid masturbating... can't have anything that doesn't result in a baby! That's not what God intended! Really? Whose God? I don't think my God has met your God.

A woman's pregnancy is a very personal thing. You cannot step in along the way and force her to take certain pre-natal pills or attend "mom-to-be" yoga. You cannot take our pills and force us to pump out children. We will make decisions about what happens in our bedroom and in our womb. And we will give you the courtesty to make your own decisions as well. If you want natural family planning and a bible in every room. If you want to march the street advocating adoption-- please go ahead. It's a wonderful cause.

But keep your laws, your rules, your morality and YOUR GOD off our body.

I will discuss my decisions with my God, not yours.