Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Back -- and pissed

Yeah, I've bene gone for awhile but let's cut to the chase. I'm pissed and I have a blog-- so dangit, I'm speaking out.

My old college newspaper just ran a piece of rape apologist drivel.

It has really pissed me off. So I wrote this back.

What was the point of Mr. Brorby article, “One-night standing: the Method”? Was this supposed to be edgy? A form of satire? Entertaining? I’d have to say that whatever this article way trying to be—it failed.

Call me humorless, but I don’t think it’s funny to joke about getting a woman (or anyone for that matter) into a vulnerable position in the hopes of commiting sexually assault. What I find most upsetting, besides the fact that this article was ever published. is that the online comments at the D.S. website rely heavily on blaming the victim.

I don't think it was Mr. Brorby’s intention, but his article got one thing right -- he highlighted the predatory mentality of a rapist. Too many people say that intoxicated victims deserve what they get. Well let’s be clear, it doesn’t matter how much you drink, what you wear, what you say or how you act. The only mitigating factor in an assault is proximity to a rapist. It’s cruel to suggest otherwise. Otherwise we are saying that most men would rape if presented with an opportunity.

My first job after graduating UND was with Fargo’s Rape & Abuse Crisis Center. Sometimes I would be called to the hospital to sit with victims during the rape kit exam. I held the victim's hand and sometimes I would meet with the family and friends in the waiting room. I didn’t find too much to laugh about on those days.

In many of those cases, alcohol was used to facilitate the rape. Too many times I found myself reassuring the victim or her family that this did not make it the victim’s fault. The only person to blame for the rape was the rapist. The attacker found the opportunity they were looking for—that is all.

If we really want to be edgy when we talk about rape, how about we call out the victim blaming attitudes that run rampant in our communities, schools and culture? Maybe we quit suggesting that people who look for casual sex are somehow asking for rape? Maybe we run an article from Mr. Brorby where he apologizes for being thoughtless and rubbing salt in the wounds of people like me—or worse, victims of sexual assault.

I would really like to read that article.

PS: I think it would be pertinent for Josh Brorby and any editor who allowed this to run to tender resignations immediately. This article is a blot on our school’s reputation

So even if you aren't a recent graduate like myself, please give them hell for me


The Red Queen said...

Tobes! Is that you? OMG I have missed you on the intertubes.

Tobes said...

YAY! It is me!!! I Have missed you tons!!!

Anonymous said...

He posts a brief apology for the article in the comments section at that link. Granted, it's hardly a perfect apology (a little too much "It was satire. How satirical of me to write satirical satire. Did I mention it was satire?"), but as after-the-fact apologies for rape apology goes...this one was a lot better than most. It seemed sincere. That's something, at least.

Anonymous said...

Another Fargoan - not laughing. Blaming the victim is not edgy. Sick and stupid, but not edgy.

Tobes said...

I was just pumped as hell to read some comments on the Dakota Student website refer to priviledge and patriarchy. That made my whole day :) Sita-- thanks for visiting :)

And Anonymous-- I agree with you. I feel bad for the guy on one hand because I truly think he's sorry, but on the other hand it's like -- REALLY? How did you NOT KNOW people would react like this?

A feminist open to criticism said...

I would be interested in reading the original article.

It sounds incredibly shocking though, mostly that it was allowed to run.

Please check our my own feminist blog and feel free to look around and comment.