Go ACLU! Sue Sue!

This story makes my eyeballs burn. I'd bet serious money that this "research" they are using is seriously flawed. It's a myth I have no patience for-- this idea that boys and girls have different brains are therefor learning styles. So girls should sit quietly at desks (non-competitive atmosphere) and boys should run and play in the sunshine (cause sitting in a desk is too hard for them).

It's school-sanctioned sexism and it's bogus. Of course if you interview a young girl or boy they'll think the opposite sex is 'yucky' and want to have their own space. But when you teach children that they are different because of what's between their legs, you set a dangerous precedent.

Girls may be more socialized to sit still and be quiet. Boys may be socialized to be more aggressive. This does NOT prove that our brains are all wired by gender. There are thousands of hardcore female athletes that will tell you this.

My best friend's sister is 14 and has been a competitive athlete since she could walk. I bet she'd rather be outside running and learning too but because she's a girl, she'd be sitting at her desk. Don't tell me girls aren't competitive or aggressive ... she could kick my ass and I'm 24.

More importantly, we need to expect more from our boys. Fifty years ago schools had all students in desks, facing the teacher, listening quietly to lectures. Go even further back when education was something strictly for young men, do you think professors had them outside running relays? NO. They sat quietly in a desk.

Now, I'm not knocking these educational methods that are outside the box. I think it would be great if they took the whole class outside and had them run and play in the sunshine while learning. But acting like we have to do this because they're boys and they can't sit still is insulting!

What are you setting these children up for? In adult society, they may have to:

A) Sit at a desk and work (not always but in a great many jobs)

and

B) Work with women as equals. Women have PROVEN themselves qualified to work alongside men in every field - whether quiet desk work or physical work like construction.

If we teach children differently, we put them all at a disadvantage and set them up (especially the girls) for sexism.

Can you tell I'm into You Tube today?

Bad Questions to Ask a Transsexual:

This is a pretty sweet video. My fave line.

When soemone says, "I've seen Silence of the Lambs and I don't want a transsexual teaching my children"

she answers with

Well I've seen American Psycho and I dont' want a straight yuppie teaching mine.

Brilliant point!

I need blood pressure medication

Sometimes, I would do better not to click on the links at feministe, they DID warn me that it would raise my blood pressure...

Author Angela Epstein, of the Daily Mail writes an article called, "I'm a FEMALE male chauvinist - and proud of it."

Okay, can I just stop right here and discuss something.... Would there ever be an article with the title, "A Black racist and proud of it?"

SERIOUSLY??? Unless it was on the Onion? I just don't understand acceptance of sexism-- least of all when the acceptance comes from a woman? Anyway...

Epstein writes the most absurd and insulting drivel I've read in awhile. And I've read some drivel recently. The article opens with Epstein lamenting because she's on an airplane and the Captain is speaking over the PA and *gasp* -- The Captain is a woman! HOLY CRAP!! GRAB YOUR SEAT CUSHION-- WE'RE GOING DOWN!

With a female pilot at the helm, my husband immediately made some comment about women drivers before returning to his crossword.

I, on the other hand, felt uncomfortable and found it hard to relax for the rest of the flight. All I could think about was this young woman - well, she sounded young - cradling 200 lives in the palm of her hand.

...

Though I applaud female ambition and advancement, when it comes to real power, I feel so much happier if a man holds the reins.

If men should be the only ones in positions of "real power," just where does that leave us exactly? I'm assuming we're out of courtrooms, hospitals and piloting planes... but what about media? Isn't it really powerful to write and have an impact on the public? Maybe you should hang up your hat and call it a day, Epstein? Just a thought.

PS: Also. Iv'e noticed that you're alive and writing this article (not dead from pilot-error), maybe you should stop and give that a thought as well.

At least she acknowledges that she's sexist. Although she fails to see the seriousness. Her husband's comment on 'women drivers' is written off as "macho good humor." No, no, honey, macho good humor is the guys on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy who can handle some jokes at the expense of their "masculinity" without freaking out. There is nothing "good humored" about putting women down simply because they're women.

So am I being treacherously disloyal to my own sex? Well, before the braburners start hurling the embers of their lingerie at me, you need only to take a long look at the world at large to realise my latent male chauvinism isn't operating in isolation.

Okay, now I just feel sorry for her, how many writers have tackled the bra-burning myth and she's still afraid of blazing lingerie? But she has a point, there's plenty of other sexist dolts who'll back up her opinions of "women shouldn't have real power." Only difference, most of the people saying such things ARE MEN. Because *duh* they have something to gain by perpetuating that myth.

Predictably for any sexist, Epstein goes after Hillary Clinton next:

She may have squeaked home in New Hampshire this week, but she had been humiliated in Iowa.

Wow, not even true. While Obama definitely took the primary in Iowa, Clinton trailed Edwards by only one percentage point. Proving her worth, she beat them a few days later in New Hampshire-- I wouldn't call that humiliating.

Could it be that Mrs Clinton's mannish trouser suits and selfaggrandising, policy-driven speeches smack of the masculine touch - and what heterosexual woman wants fake machismo in power?

You're right, who in their right mind would want fake machismo in power? .....


Fake machismo (above)

Epstein goes on to say that Clinton was "betrayed by her own biology when she was reduced to tears this week on the stump."

Also a huge lie. Clinton's voice briefly cracked. She wasn't "reduced to tears" -- her voice broke when she spoke of her great love for this country. Doesn't sound particularly weak to me.

Like many women, she understandably gave into the hormonal urge to blub when faced with a setback. But with this acknowledgement of our sex's innate weakness, would you really want her manicured hand on the nuclear button?

Oh shut up, seriously. Hormonal urge?? She's 60-- I think hormonal mood swings of PMS are behind her. And which way do you want to play it? Clinton't a bad leader because she wears pansuits (trying to be a man) or Clinton's a bad leader because she takes time to get manicures (trying too hard to be girly?) You can't have it both ways.

Power means convincing those you protect that everything's under control. For this reason, I have always had a male obstetrician oversee my four pregnancies.

Having a penis doesn't automatically equal power and superior OBGYN skills--- actually I think having a VAGINA might make you superior in that area.

My chauvinistic feelings may be sourced in the fact that every girl inherits the princess gene which dictates her desire for a strong male role model to cosset and comfort her.

In the words of one commenter at Feministe:

"No. You have a rescue fetish. Many women can save their own damn selves and appreciate men as friend and companions or just like living human beings rather than the knights in your own fantasy." (AMEN TO THAT!)

The fact is that when we women are tired, weak, compromised, in need of sympathy and vulnerable, nothing beats the strong arm of male capability and its implied protection.

And men never get tired, weak, compromised? Men never need sympathy? Men are never vulnerable? I sincerely pray this woman never has sons. It's just painful that ideas of this type of "manhood" still abound.

This is a classic example of why feminism is good for women AND MEN. A feminist woman understands that men are human, not superhero, not John Wayne put on this earth to "rescue" us damsel women. A real relationship means you have to rescue each other sometimes-- and it has very little to do with estrogen vs. testosterone.

To these highly skilled and talented women, I salute your success. But perhaps I'm even more grateful to those who don't get right to the top.

And I'm even more grateful that society at large sees through garbage like this nowadays.

It's positively painful to think there are still people in the world holding on to these antiquated, sexist ideals.

Anti Gym seems kinda Anti-Woman

These sexy eyes can be yours too... if you admit you're a big fattie

Some days I read stuff and think to myself, 'No way... no way in hell is this real ... it just can't be.' But sadly this horrifying piece of news is real.

Feministing and Feministe have both reported on the Denver, Anti-gym. It's run by Michael Karolchyk who thinks that shaming fat people is something revolutionary and new. His trademark slogan is "No Chubbies." A message he proudly wears on his shirt.

On their website, a chubby is defined as:

Not necessarily someone with a spare tire or thunder thighs, it’s an unmotivated, lazy slob who wants to blame everybody else but themselves for their shortcomings.

This is the classic definition of chubby people. And I'm sure it can be true. Lord knows I make excuses when I want to avoid working out. BUT -- Can anyone out there tell me they never met a thin person who was lazy, unmotivated, slobby and blamed everyone else for their problems? Cause, I don't think this is just "a fat person thing."

The gym keeps on with the stereotypes by talking about the "bearded lady" (a close relative of a chubby) Funny though, the characteristics of the bearded lady sound remarkably like stereotypes about feminists. Which shouldn't be surprising given how unfriendly this gym seems to be towards women who don't conform to patriarchal standards of beauty and sexuality.

Top 10 Characteristics of Bearded Ladies:
1. Fat, really fat, but refuse to change their behavior because of a “thyroid problem”.
2. Usually emit a foul and unpleasant odor because they don’t wear antiperspirant.
3.Don’t wear make-up, because lipstick gets in their mustache and eye-shadow clashes with their red face.
4.Hate men. Actually hate women too, but won’t admit it.
5. Feel like they are victims of everything. Conveniently ignore their own laziness.
6. Watch Oprah while eating cupcakes alone in the dark.
7. Have not had sex with the lights on in their entire life.
8. Pretend in chat rooms to be 20-year-old cheerleaders with huge breasts.
9. Think all Anti-Gym ads are offensive. Are also offended by PG13-rated movies because they have the emotional maturity of a 12-year old.
10. Have enough time on their chubby hands to send hysterical emails or phone calls to Anti-Gym sponsors.

See! Classic feminist bashing: You're stinky! You hate men! You have a mustache! You're hysterical and constantly attacking people! You're unnatractive!

*YAWN*

Another advertising catch prhase for the gym is "Have sex with the lights on." This seems to be the most accurate description of the gym's goals. It's very little to do with healthier living and more about becoming sexually attractive (emphasis on WOMEN being sexually attractive that is). For example, their commercial called "hottie" where a fat women is watching TV and jumps up to greet her man but is beat to the punch by this porned-out woman.



The husband happily makes out with the skinnier lady, grabs her ass and leaves the fat woman alone to cry. But luckily Michael Karolchyk busts out of the fridge (I can't make this shit up) to MOO at the woman, push her chocolate cake into her chest and say "you'll never get a hubby if you're chubby... Pathetic."

Charming-- totally like junior high.

If you can handle it-- here's another one where Mr. No-Chubbies physically assaults a fat woman with her own pie.



Correct me if I'm wrong, but weight loss should be about a healthier, less-impeded lifestyle. Self-confidence and better sex life are great perks too but a person's entire worth as a human being/sexual person should not be determined by a number on a scale.

This anti-gym message seems to have nothing whatsoever to do with health. It's just condemning fat women. Scaring them and shaming them with their message of fat = unhappy and alone whereas looking like a porn star = happiness and access to men. Well, access to the type of man who wants you for your body and will show affection by grabbing your ass.

Striving for weight loss and better health is just fine. It's great in fact. But this message is disgusting. Assaulting a "chubby" with her own cake? Pushing her down? Calling her pathetic? And making all thin "beautiful" women nothing more than objects of overt-sexuality and lust? WTF?

I'm no skinny-minnie, but yet I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends, a great life. I don't watch Oprah alone in the dark and cry. So I guess being plus size isnt' the worst thing. I know that less weight can mean less health risk, but I certainly don't need humiliating messages hurled in my direction or in the direction of other "fat" women (who I happen to know and love and think are beautiful). So Anti-Gym can kiss my fat ass. And for the record, I don't have any "lights on/off" phobias so we can put that bullshit rumor to rest.

The anti-gym website has photos at the top of all their pages and interestingly enough-- they look like this:






When you look at these photos, do you think of exercise???

I'll say it again.... Any gym that promotes fitness by bullying *including throwing cupcakes and twinkies at people working out * is not a healthy atmosphere. Losing weight should be about what makes you happy and healthy, not about looking like these photos. Turning women into sexual objects seems to be the only "real" goal anti-gym offers. According to the website,

Anti-Gym is the only organization in history that does not discourage alcohol and marijuana use as part of a healthy lifestyle

Right cause alcohol and marijuana, not so bad for you. But a chubby woman? MOOOOO!

Britney Spears is officially a feminist issue

Has Britney bashing gone too far?

(click on image to view terrible news clip)

This proves it. Britney Spears is my new poster girl for: "THE NEED FOR FEMINISM." You'd think with two female commentators, this clip wouldn't be so god awful, but it is.

MSNBC Anchor, Chris Jansing speaks to Courtney Hazlett (OK magazine) on the "Britney bombs at the VMA" story. This segment is all over the place and at the end Jansing is aware she's crossed the major stupidity line.

The two women start by dissing Brit's clothes.... "or lack thereof." And out comes the blaming,

"Well she chose this outfit – she didn't feel the outfit MTV picked out was sexy or skimpy enough. She's the one who decided to go on in little more than bedazzled undergarments."

But later in the show, Hazlett admits that Britney has often been "judged less on singing and more on dancing and sex appeal."

So we judge her on sex appeal but condemn her for putting on bedazzled undergarments and dancing around?

Well according to Hazlett and Jansing, the reason the outfit is an issue is "she didn't have the body for the outfit."

While one anchor comments that maybe this is better body image for young women -- not having to be stick thin, Hazlett comes back with this bitchy retort:

If we’re looking to Britney spears to be a shining example to girls, I think body image is the least of our problems!

You claim to work for a celebrity news magazine and you still think people look to Spears for "role model" behavior? Get with the times.

Hazlett goes on to give us this pearl of wisdom:

It's time to stop being so afraid of saying someone's body doesn’t suit a certain outfit. It's not doing Britney Spears or anyone else down the line any good.

When has our culture ever been kind to women we perceive as being fat? Ever peaked through a fashion magazine where rounder women in tight clothes are portrayed under the huge bold word "DON'T" and have black bars over their eyes?

Then to further the hypocrisy the women start taking shots at Spears outfit from the "But she's a mom!" angle.

Jansing says: "I don’t look at that outfit and think mom. That's just me."

Well what do you want? Do you want her serving up the sexy or dressing "like a mom" (find me that uniform, please). I guess when Spears was young and skinny and professing her virginity it was all good to see her in bedazzled underwear?





But now motherhood and a few extra pounds means she needs ... AN APRON...

No shit!!! That's what Jansing suggests:

"Where’s the apron that’s what I want to know? Why isn’t she in the … never mind I’m gonna get in trouble for that."

YEAH YOU THINK? Where's the apron? Are you frickin kidding me? And "why isn't she in the...." in the WHAT? THE KITCHEN? Is that where you were going? Cause, last time I checked you're working on TV! Do you have kids? Cause if you do, you better get your butt back in the kitchen. At least Jansing has the where-with-all to realize what a dumbass comment it was because she immediately throws out the obligatory "moms can be whatever they want" statement.

Well, if that were true, Britney could be a pop star who can writhe in moan in sparkly panties and you wouldn't give two craps about whether or not she has kids. But she's a mom now, not a teenager, so she better quit turning us on?

This is the ultimate virgin/mother/whore complex come to life.

And for the record, her performance was awful, I don't like the song and I think she does need to get her crap together. That aside I'm so, SO, SO sick of the way the media is gleefully discussing this issue. I look forward to the ACTUAL news story on how "Britney bashing HAS gone too far."

Plus size makes you sub-human?

I will acknowledge some truth right now:

Being slimmer, eating right and working out is healthier for you.
Anyone working towards those goals has my support and respect.

However, can we acknowledge these truths without demonizing people of a larger size? I mean, really?

This story on CNN could have been positive. An unhappy, overweight woman loses 110 pounds! No easy task since she did so without the intervention of surgery or pills. However, upon closer inspection of this story, my heart really sank.

"Friends asked my husband to e-mail them a picture of us. Later, I discovered that he had sent them an old photograph taken when I was much smaller. Even though he loved me, he was embarrassed at how much weight I had gained."

It's not that her husband was sad that her health might be in jeopardy or that her self-confidence might be failing-- it was the fact that she didn't fit the conventional image of beauty and he couldn't show off her photo?

Okay at this point in the story I figured I may be overreacting. Then came this...

"When I finally reached my goal (weight), my wedding ring was two sizes too big. I had already had it resized twice and the jeweler was hesitant that I might lose more weight. Rather than resize it, my husband bought me a new beautiful diamond ring and when he gave it to me he said this was a renewal of our wedding vows," she recalled.

Red flag #2: Renewal of wedding vows? A big shiny ring? Why not a "congrats for getting hot again" banner? It just seems odd -- as if saying-- this is what is holding our marriage back together.

Twitchell says her husband keeps telling people that he's got his wife back.

Uhhhh-- where was she before? You realize she was the same person, just heavier right?

Again, I realize being trim and healthy is a wonderful thing but I'm sick of demonizing people who dare to be plus size and even *gasp* seem to be okay with their plus size figures. We paint fatness as this repulsive, marriage-ending disease for which women should hide their faces in shame.

It's one thing if you're unhappy in your skin and trying to lose weight but I'd like to see more big, beautiful women acting like this:

Billboard debate

This billboard has caused a firestorm of criticism in my community. The local newspaper featured several stories and the online forum for each drew pages and pages of comments.

A 37-year-old mother, Jennifer Dufner is at the front of a media campaign calling the billboard inappropriate. She has expressed concern over how the image will affect her 3 step kids (all younger than 10).

In this article, Dufner seems concerned about the clothing (or lack thereof) that is worn. I'm not offended really, this outfit is more than most women would wear for swim-wear. Rather than young children, I find myself worried about adolescent and pre-teen girls who see this billboard.

Young girls seeing this image will be very clear on the message. The sign says "THIS is what an acceptable, sexy woman looks like." And consequently, if you want to feel valued by men or if you want men to find you attractive, you will conform this beauty norm. I'm not saying this billboard alone does this. But this billboard paired with every other ad depicting young women, any every MTV image tells women that being thin, blonde, (and consequently, white) equals value. Not to mention that you make yourself sexually avaliable.

Young girls are told over and over through various mediums that they need to be provocatively dressed and sexually available. Interesting that in this billboard, the young woman has no head, no mouth no face-- none of that pesky personality. She's quite literally just a hot piece of ass.

What a nice message.

I can't see how this billboard breaks any obscenity law (our town's city council has agreed) but it certainly doesn't brighten my day driving by it. Just another disappointing ad in a trend of ads that cut apart women's bodies to sexually entice men and in turn, sell product. In this case, rock music. Not that women being sexy = horrible. Sure, entice the men-folk. But how about a hot rocker chick playing a guitar or belting out a song? Why is she this passive, faceless OBJECT?

On a related note, dehumanizing women in billboards has been a hot topic of late. There was a recent uproar about a much more disgusting billboard advertising for the movie Captivity. The sexualization of violence was so blatant in this case that the billboard was eventually pulled. And I must say, that if I had kids and they saw that atrocity, I WOULD be horrified as well. If my kid asked about the ROCK 102 billboard I could roll my eyes, but the Captivity poster is sick on a different level.

If you want a fabulous source for portrayals of women in advertising, look up Jean Kilbourne. Her video documentary series "Killing us Softly" is amazing.

The Rock station's billboard is relatively tame to be sure, but I wouldn't shed a tear if they all came down. I just think the advertisers could stand to stretch their imagination a little more. The sexualization of women's body to sell product is so overdone. Imagine doing something unique and actually clever.

Personally what offends me most is that she looks like she has the beginning of a wedgie.

Unexpected

Last night I was called in to the E.R. for a 23 year old rape victim-- same age as myself. I wondered what she was like as I drove to the hospital. Then I walked into the room came face to face with a man sitting in a hospital gown.

I sincerely hope the look of shock didn't register to my face.

Even though I know male rape happens, it wasn't really a reality for me. Every other trauma call I'd had was a female victim. I hadn't entered my realm of possibility that the 23 year old "victim" wouldn't look like me.

The evening was a huge learning experience. First I learned that the aftermath of rape is similar regardless of gender: shame, anger, embarrassment, wanting to keep it secret are reactions no matter what chromosome you have.

But I learned a great deal more speaking with the male police officer who was also at the scene. The cop was horrified by the notion that this could happen. The victim was driving in a truck with a coworker who pulled over, threatened him with a weapon and then threatened his life before forcing himself on him. This sort of thing was just not registering with the cop.

"How was he supposed to know that was coming? He knew this guy! Why would he do that out of no where?"

An angry, bitter voice inside me wanted to sneer, "Welcome to the world of womanhood where I fear every man who sits next to me... all the worse if I know him in some way."

Instead I said, "It's unthinkable I know. But this was an act of power and control and fear. It's not about sex but about violence. I don't even know if the gender of the victim mattered."

But the cop could NOT get over the idea of two men doing anything sexual-- consensual or not. I could tell immediately that he was having a very hard time (despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary) believing this assault had happened at all.

"No way in hell I'd let a man touch me like that. Disgusting."

Well yes it IS disgusting. But it'd be just as disgusting if he did this to a woman! I felt myself feeling more and more sorry for this male victim. We ask these same questions of female victims of course: Why didn't you fight back, did you just lay there and let it happen?

But male victims have an extra stigma. Male to female assault isn't regarded as out-of-the-ordinary. It's expected that a man could/would overpower a woman. But we expect men to handle their problems. A real man should be able to protect himself. No real man would stand for being raped! They'd fight, kick ass, they'd be TOUGH and STRONG. Men are not overpowered.

So the obvious conclusion is that men who are raped are weak, defective or maybe they wanted it to happen-- maybe they are gay?

Female victims face similarly horrible accusations but without that extra disgust of homophobia, and reaction of disgust that so many straight man have at the idea of one man forcing sex on another.

The scariest conclusion came later as I walked across the dark hospital parking lot. My eyes scanned around me and my keys were at the ready. Once I jumped safely into my car, I clicked down my automatic locks and heaved a sigh of relief. It was then I had a horrible jolt. I had been conditioned to play this role, lock the doors quick, be on alert, never accept an open drink, don't go back to his room alone etc. But does any of this cross my boyfriend's mind? My fathers? My best guy friends?

I guarantee the men in my life walk freely every day never dreaming they need to fear rape or sexual violence. But truth is healthy, strong, 23 year old men can be victims. And not only does our society seem mightily unfit to deal with male victims, but also we don't entertain the notion that men CAN be victims in the first place.