Guest blogger time!

From Adrienne

Sometimes, I'm not sure what to think about the society that I live in.

My state, Nebraska, has recently come into nationwide focus because of a law that came into effect in September-- The Safe Haven Law. This law states that people can bring their child and leave them at a hospital or with an on duty firefighter and not be prosecuted by law.

Nebraska is, obviously, a very conservative state. Currently, we have what is legally referred to as an 'unenforceable' abortion ban. Every Saturday I drive by a HUGE protest in front of the Planned Parenthood in my town. My sister and I used to entertain ourselves by flipping them off while we drove by, and once I escorted a terrified woman (who was not even there for an abortion or to ask about one) across the picket line so that she could get an exam done. When we passed the safe haven law, I was so proud of the state. I thought, finally, someone wants to provide an answer for women who want an abortion and cannot obtain one.

What is controversial about the law is that there is no age limit. While lawmakers have stated that it is intended for infants, to prevent babies being born in dumpsters, they left no age limit on the law so that any parent could leave their child here.

If you've been following the stories on the news, you can see what a predicament my state is now in. Over thirty children have been left here since the law came into effect in September, some from out of state. One father dropped off nine children (after his wife died and he was laid off from his job).

As an early childhood professional, it makes me sick to my stomach to think about children being abandoned by their parents. As a citizen, even as a liberal, I have to admit that it is upsetting that parents are using the safe haven act, even more so that so many have utilized the law-- and even MORE so that parents from out of the state have used the law.

However, the law was created for a reason. The law was created so that parents could leave their children rather than harming them-- and now we are upset because the law is doing exactly what it was intended for.

Yesterday I was reading an article about a woman who became the guardian to a 16 month old when his homeless mother literally put the child in her arms and then walked away. Now he is five, and suffering from an emotional disorder so severe that his guardians literally fear for their lives. She has sought help through the proper channels, got therapy, put him on medication, and, finally, looked for full-time care with an institution. But the wait list for a quality institution was 6 months at the least. So, she bought plane tickets and brought him to Nebraska, where she dropped him off at a hospital. In the article, she says that she just wanted him to get help, and this was the only way she could think of to get him help right NOW. "If it works out," She says, "I'd like to have him back."

THAT is the real travesty. The fact that it takes more than six months for a CHILD to receive necessary mental health care is morally reprehensible in this society. THAT is what we should be focusing on, NOT on repealing a law that has brought into light so many of the holes in our social services system.

It breaks my heart that children are being abandoned. I work for a child care center that exists through a grant that provides day care and living expenses for single moms. The majority of the children I interact with every day are children who were born to teenage mothers. Every single day I see parents whose lives would have been SO much easier had they had an abortion or found some way to abandon their child-- and yet they keep them, they struggle, and they make it through. Sometimes with public assistance, sometimes without. So when the public in my ridiculously conservative state says that people should understand the choice inherent behind creating a child, and the responsibility that comes with having one, I get it. I absolutely GET it. These women chose a hard road for themselves AND for their children, and I admire every single one of them for it. The goal of social services is to keep families together, and as functional as possible (if any of you grew up in a functional family, let me know).

I was so proud of my state for passing this law. Passing this law, to me, meant that Nebraska was tired of being heartbroken every time they read about a baby left in a dumpster, or a child locked in a closet, or starved to death. To me, it meant that while we are, as a whole, an anti-abortion state, we were willing to provide a choice to women that does not include a dark alley/rusty hanger, or forced motherhood.

I was so proud of the state for saying that we would be the brave light shining in the darkness for these children-- NOT for the parents-- who have so few choices, so little help, and-- obviously-- no one they can count on.

But now the public cries out that these children are not our responsibility-- that it isn't fair for us to shoulder the cost of these children. Some parents have said they abandon their children because of severe behavioral issues, and others, I'm sure, just because they didn't want to have their kids anymore. That was bound to happen. In any case-- I thank God that these children are no longer in their parent/guardians hands, even if just for a brief reprieve to get the help that they need in order to make their families functional. I pray for the lawmakers who face the decision to repeal a law that we-- obviously-- so desperately need. What would have become of these thirty-odd children without the safe haven law? Would we rather open the World Herald and read that 34 children had been starved, neglected, abused, since September?

Luke 9:48: "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me, because the one who is least among all of you is the one who is greatest."

Y94, missing the funny again

When I hear/see/read something that I find unacceptable, I speak up about it. You should too.

You don't have to be rude, or full out boycott *(unless you're that pissed, in which case, hey go for it)* -- but mediums like newspaper, radio and TV are all about serving the consumer. They want you to read, watch, listen to THEIR stuff. And if they are doing something to turn people off, they want to know!

I communicated with local Top 40 radio station, Y94 once before about something that didn't sit right with me -- was it effective - meh, who knows. But I said my piece and they know that one listener took offense.

Recently, I got an updated comment to that entry saying:

I came across your blog because I was upset at something I heard on y94. Not sure if they created it, but they played it.

It was like a fake PSA, where this man was talking about hating this girl at work because she had "let herself go" and she now had a "muffin top." It ended with "This message paid for by the 'I want something nice to look at when I come into work Committee'"

I was so hurt and outraged. Who's this guy to say what's attractive? and to say that women are only at work to give him and other men "something nice to look at."

I emailed the studio... I'm not sure what else to do...

thanks for listening :)

I have not heard this ad but it sounds like a bucket of stupid. I want to commend the listener for voicing his/her concern to the station. Too often I think people feel like they have to just take hurtful or abusive images/messages because, "What can we do?"

You can speak up!! You might be mocked for having 'no sense of humor' but no one can accuse you of lacking courage.

And remember, sometimes if enough people speak up about something offensive, the good side wins!

PS: Thanks to the visitor who commented on my blog and who did a courageous thing by contacting the studio. I hope you got a pleasant response!

Anthology on motherhood and domestic violence seeks submissions

*This isn't my project but I thought it sounded wonderful....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Call for submission of personal accounts from mothers who have survived domestic violence.

The upcoming anthology, Motherhood and Domestic Violence (working title), will explore the complexities of mothering in a violent home through stories, essays, and poems written by survivors.

Besides the cruelties inflicted upon themselves, mothers suffer the violence again as they witness the effects on their children.

They endure the torment of being unable to create a safe and loving home for their children and at the same time experience verbal and psychological abuse as their abusive partner convinces them they are a bad mother.

As many women say, “You can’t do your job as a mom if you are living in domestic violence. All your energy is taken up with mothering him or just getting through the day.”

Possible Topics:

The stories received from survivors will in large part dictate the structure of our book. We will focus on the survivor’s experience being a mother while living in violence, rather than on the impact of domestic violence on children. We are interested in thoughts, feelings, and recollections of events – whatever the survivor is willing to share about her experience.

Possible topics might include:

-- Your reactions to your children witnessing your abuse.
-- Losing or giving up custody of your children.
-- Making decisions about the abusive relationship based on what you thought was best for your children.
-- What do you wish you had done differently?
-- What do you think you did well?

Things to consider:

Writing can be wonderfully therapeutic and a lot of distressing feelings can come up in the process. We recommend that the writers be out of their domestic violence relationship and have successfully moved through the trauma stage. They should have a strong support system.

Guidelines:

• Good writing skills are helpful, but not necessary – we will work closely with contributors to polish their writings. Or, if writing your story seems too daunting, send us a tape. Mostly we are looking for the heart and wisdom of our story-tellers.
• We prefer submissions to be typed and double-spaced, but if you don’t type, please print clearly.
• Be sure to include your name, address, phone number and email address.

Remember to notify us at once if you move, change your phone number or email. (If you wish to remain anonymous, let us know and we won’t include your name in the book.)

Send your submission by either mail or email.

Include a stamped, self-addressed envelope so we can return submissions we are unable to use. Submissions without this cannot be returned.

Each contributor chosen for the anthology will receive a copy of the book when it is published.

It may take time for you to write your story. We’d like to know you are considering making a submission, however, send us a letter by March 1, 2009 with your contact information so we can offer our assistance.

Final drafts of stories, essays or poems must be postmarked on or before November 1, 2009. The final selection process will begin then.

Address your submissions to:
Mary Zelinka
PO Box 3047
Albany, Oregon
97321-0700

or email to motherhooddv@yahoo.com

ND victim of gang rape denied justice AGAIN

Back story here

'Nancy Peterson' (an alias) has been fighting a system that ignored and blamed her for being the victim of violent gang rape.

She was improperly questioned by police... photographic evidence of the brutal crime was ignored and not even picked up for review until the state attorney general's office stepped in... The men weren't questioned for a week and the scene of the crime wasn't examined for days.

Despite all this, the North Dakota attorney general’s office has upheld the original decision to not press charges.

“I conclude that your decision not to prosecute falls within the broad discretion afforded state’s attorneys …” reads a letter from Chief Deputy Attorney General Thomas Trenbeath, who reviewed the file along with an assistant attorney general.

The County State’s Attorney Stuart Larson had originally said it was a 'lack of physical evidence, the burden of proving the sex was not consensual and contradictions between the alleged victim’s statements and those of the reported suspects were the main reasons for not filing charges.'

If you need further explanation of why this is crap, please see this.

Nancy's husband complained about the decision not to prosecute and Larson sent the file to the attorney general’s office. Larson also sent a letter asking, “Did I abuse the prosecutorial discretion of a State’s Attorney by reaching my decision not to prosecute the alleged crime?”

When word came back that the decision was upheld, Larson (*cough* smugly *cough*) told press he expected this.

Sadly, Nancy wasn't expecting much in the way of justice either. She told the newspaper, “It’s pretty much my word against theirs.”

The husband said if they were to bring a civil suit against the men allegedly involved, they would have to find a pro bono attorney. He added that if there was a settlement, they would probably donate it to an organization that works to prevent rape and counsel victims.

“We’re not after money here; we’re after justice,” he said.

On the surface, the husband took the news of the decision the hardest.

“I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it,” he said. “I don’t get it. Pretty much they’re saying my wife asked for this.”

The couple in their 30s has continually expressed frustration with how the investigation has been handled. They say the apartment should have been searched earlier to better preserve any evidence and the reported suspects should have been interviewed sooner.

The couple has filed written complaints with Mayville’s police commission, hoping local law enforcement will be somehow reprimanded. They said they’re yet to hear from the commission.

The couple, who has four children, moved out of Mayville after the alleged assault. The woman said she is still seeing a counselor and that her family is getting settled in a new home.

When Nancy was asked for a statement from a local newspaper, she texted a heartbreaking response.

I don’t blame ppl 4 not believing me its a tough story 2 swallow. I don’t lie & I hate liars I would never accuse 3 … guys with their whole lives ahead of them of something this serious if it wasn’t true. I did a stupid thing that night 4 going home with someone but I only went home with 1 guy & made it very clear I only wanted 2 b with 1 person because this issue came up a few times. I didn’t ask 2 b raped. … I wake up in cold sweats & have nightmares because of this. This has destroyed me & caused my family 2 uproot their lives & leave a town we liked. … I just want 2 move on with my life.

ND women gang raped/ignored

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING.

I read this in the paper this weekend and felt sick. So be forewarned... this is an article about gang rape and it is graphic and disturbing.

The entire article is here. Sign in with the following user name and password.



In the story the victim and her husband are given aliases -- Craig and Nancy Peterson. The alleged attackers are not named. The story states that Craig and Nancy were going through martial troubles and agreed that Nancy could have an affair. She went out to a street dance looking to meet someone.

...Nancy and her friends went to a street dance in town. The group visited three bars. At the Top Hat, Nancy met a guy.

“I ran up against him, and then we just started talking,” she said. “I pretty much told him my husband cheated on me, and I was planning on cheating on him.”

A random guy in earshot expressed interest.

“No. Just one person,” Nancy fired back. “I’m not going to be with more than one person.”

The man Nancy had her sights on wound up getting in a fight. He bolted from the bar with a buddy, and she followed.

“Halfway to the house, (Nancy’s guy) got arrested, so I decided to go home with the other guy.

“… I know it’s all very bad,” Nancy said, acknowledging how others might view the situation.

It shouldn't matter if it "looked bad" but, sadly, it probably does... As the rest of the story shows, it probably made a great deal of difference in the treatment she received from police.

Nancy went home with the man and started to have consensual sex. As this was happening, the man who had been arrested earlier showed up and jumped on top of her.

The two men began assaulting her at the same time, grabbing her hair and forcing her to perform sex acts.

“That’s pretty much how it went most of the night,” she said.

Nancy conceded that she was drunk. (She recalled having at least seven drinks.) But she said she was thinking clearly enough to know this was not what she wanted.

After awhile, Nancy blacked out. She said it was likely a combination of what was happening and the alcohol. When she came to, she discovered a new man assaulting her. Nancy bluntly asked him who he was.

“And then they all started laughing,” she said.

A fourth man was asked if he wanted to get involved; Nancy screamed, “No!” The other men continued to hold her down and assault her in the dark room. None of them wore condoms, she said.

“I told them to stop. I didn’t want to do this,” Nancy wrote in her statement for the police. “They all kept switching positions and throwing me around how they wanted me.”

The fourth man stood blocking the doorway, she said.

The men had taken Nancy’s cell phone and kept it from her during the incident. Several friends tried to call her. Someone reportedly answered one of the calls and told her friend, “She’s busy,” and hung up.

That night, Craig, who was in South Dakota where he was working with a harvesting crew, got a call from someone he thinks was one of the four men. The caller told him his wife was having sex with several men.

Craig initially thought it was a prank.

“I didn’t know what to believe at first,” he said. “Then, I started to think … ‘What the heck’s going on here?’ because that ain’t something my wife would do.”

Later, three of the men left, and the third man stayed behind. When Nancy got up to go to the bathroom, he followed her.

“He pushed the bathroom door open, grabbed my hair, slammed me down on the sink and started all over again,” she said.

Eventually, he gave it up and left.

“I was the last person to leave the apartment,” Nancy said.

She then escaped to a friend's house and that morning went in to the emergency room. A nurse called police to report the rape. Nancy gave a statement and her clothing as evidence. Then she had to drive to Fargo where a sexual assault kit could be collected. The Rape & Abuse Crisis Center of Fargo stated that the kit showed signs of forced, non-consensual sex including "lacerations, bruising and bleeding.”

The incident occurred early morning on July 27 but the police did not search the apartment where the attack occurred until July 30

This is an absolute joke. Let me tell you this, Mayville is not an epicenter of crime in North Dakota. You can bet your life, those officers had time to go and preserve crime scene. For whatever reason- laziness or something more sinister- -they chose not to.

The failure of police doesn't end there I'm afraid.

On July 28, Nancy wrote a seven-page statement and was recorded on video describing the incident for the police. She was able to give names of three of the four men, including one she recalled meeting briefly before.

Nancy said the police interviewed her Aug. 1. She said Chief Stan Baker asked questions that riled her.

“He kept saying to me, ‘So, when your husband made that phone call, that’s when you decided that you didn’t want to do it anymore?’ ” Nancy said.

“I had no idea who was on the phone. I didn’t answer the phone,” she said. “I didn’t hear what they were saying, and obviously, I didn’t hear what (Craig) was saying.”

Nancy said the police asked her why she didn’t attempt to get away, why she didn’t fight back against the four men larger than her.

“Sorry, but I’m 5-2, 145. What was I supposed to do?” she asked.

One question made her especially irate.

“So, they never really physically restrained you?” Baker asked, according to Nancy.

“And I flipped,” she said.

Nancy said the police told her they had questioned the four men.

“They all admit they were there with me that night,” Nancy said. But beyond that, she said, she doesn’t know what else they told police.

Since the interview, Nancy has not had contact with the authorities. Craig said any information they’ve gotten about the investigation, they’ve had to seek out themselves.

“They haven’t gone out of their way to tell us anything,” he said.

If a family member had been murdered... hell if a store had been robbed... don't you think the police would keep the victim(s) in the loop so they have a sense that SOMETHING is being done. That people care?

Apparently Nancy doesn't warrant that kind of treatment. It is still up in the air if there will be any charges filed at this point.

Navigating this ordeal has been tough, particularly, in a town of roughly 2,000 people where rumors travel at high speed, the couple said.

Nancy said that, for a while, she blamed herself for what happened.

“It was a pretty crazy night … and I did really stupid things by even going out,” she said. “I did a lot wrong, and obviously, I’m learning that doesn’t justify that I was actually raped.”

The fact that Nancy lives in such a small town works to her disadvantage. And sad to say that sometimes with small towns, comes small minds. Take this gem-- from the Grand Forks Herald story:

Nancy said she’s been spending most of her time at home lately.

“I don’t really go anywhere … unless (Craig) is right there with me,” she said.

Nancy said she can’t stand going to the grocery store for fear of, once again, overhearing people talk about the incident. Craig said he and Nancy can hardly bring themselves to drive by the apartment where the alleged assault occurred. Nancy even quit her job as a waitress because some of the men frequent the restaurant where she worked. And, Craig said, they ran into one of the men at the gas station.

“We liked the town before. Quiet town, you know, felt safe,” he said. “We don’t want to be there anymore. This has pretty much driven us out.”

The 30-something couple, along with their four kids, ages 4 months to 14 years old, said they’re planning to leave Mayville, where they’ve lived for three years, and move out of state.

After putting my paper down, I had to take long deep breaths to keep from screaming/sobbing.

We chased a family out of our state because we'd rather blame a victim than launch a REAL investigation.

We'd rather believe that some "slutty women" get what's coming to them than ensure that women in our state aren't vulnerable to gang rape.

We'd rather pretend rape doesn't exist and therefore create a culture where rape is acceptable.

I believe this woman was attacked. I believe the authorities who "interviewed" her blamed her for it, botched their investigation and now are hanging her out to dry so that the worst among us (MR. RETIRED FARMER ASSHOLE) can say she invited this brutal attack on herself.

God damn, I'm pissed at my state.

I am not amused, Y94

So I'm listening to local Top 40 radio on the way to work today and the early show, "Morning Playhouse with Troy and Megan" is doing their normal shtick -- only today they're talking about how DJ, Megan tried to back up a trailer and ended up screwing up and scratching her car.

Troy decided that this situation should spur the morning's call-in question.... wait for it...

Call in and tell us what girls can't do!

NOooooooooo!

Now I am well aware that morning shows on the radio aren't typically the place for deep conversation, but why go that route? You're just gonna piss off the intelligent people and make the douchebags out there go "heh heh... girls can't be President, just look at Hillary" - or insert other jerkwad sexist comment.

I was intrigued to see what feedback they'd get so when I got to work, I logged on to streaming radio. Some of the calls went like...

Girl's can't:
-- give directions (to which Megan replied, "Guys ASK for directions?")
-- throw a ball
-- please a gay man (to that Troy replied, "Oh yes they can they just buy 'em a Bette Midler CD and some shoes') -- *sigh*

I struggle with this stuff. I do have a sense of humor. When I'm with my close gay friend, I joke with him that he's hit the gay career jackpot because he buys shoes for a international well-known company. When guys friend want to go see some huge explosion-fest movie, I may throw out a joke like "no thanks, I prefer something intelligent vs. a testosterone carnival!" So am I a hypocrite? I don't think so and I'll tell you why. In the company of people who know me and my politics, I feel I can be self-depricating/tease a bit more. And a big part of that is me trusting that if I ever crossed the line with a friend, they'd tell me. EG: "Okay, no more shoe jokes. I like men but that doesn't mean I qualify for every gay stereotype."

Here's the big difference... if I ever had a radio show, I would not use my time to solicit tired, lame, sexist jokes. That's just me.

My fave was when a woman called in and said, "Wow you guys just pissed off half of Fargo."

Amen. Half or Fargo and probably then some... The sexy boyfriend (tm) doesn't like those conversations any more than I do because he knows inevitably it will turn into a stereotype extravaganza of what MEN can't do (for example: ask for directions).

I decided to give a call in to voice my opinion. Shocking! I got through! So I introduced myself and apologized if I sounded like the token 'angry feminist' but I simply wanted to know why they would choose to bother with that topic. It just leaves them open to sexist comments.

Troy informed me, in a slightly UNamused voice that I needed to (wait for it...) lighten up! Obviously he was just joking and kidding with Megan and girls can obviously back up a truck. OBVIOUSLY... OBVIOUSLY...

I told him, quite pleasantly, that I didn't need to lighten up, after all... this really wasn't going to ruin the rest of my day but I thought they could discuss something more interesting/funny/valid. He informed me that tomorrow they would probably discuss "What men can't do." Oh joy. Well that makes it better.

If you want to give either one a message about a topic they COULD discuss next time -- and please make no mistake, I don't want them receiving hate mail but obviously (OBVIOUSLY) they (more specifically TROY) need some help in coming up with topics...

Megan: megan@y94.com
Troy (via facebook): http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=545003145

More on the Marcotte book

Just read here

and Holly's take is brilliant.

My letter to Marcotte and Women of Color

The feminist community comes under fire enough from trolls and outside sexism, but nothing hurts worse than coming under fire in your own community.

That's why my heart aches for Amanda Marcotte. She's made her name in the feminist community, and now she's under some serious heat. But the more I read why, the more I see that she is the one who can get herself out of this situation and (mind boggle) she is choosing to ignore it... at the cost of many people's feelings. At the cost of the community at large.

For those of you who don't know about this situation. I'm giving a SUPER DUPER CONDENSED VERSION of the events as I understand them:

Amanda Marcotte, blogger at Pandagon and Alternet, wrote a piece where she heavily borrowed ideas already espoused by noted feminist bloggers of color. Marcotte did not reference any of these women or their work. And when the outcry began, she became defensive and sarcastic. As a result, a prominent member of the feminist community, and a women of color, effectively resigned from feminism and removed her blog.

It has gotten much, much worse because Marcotte has a book coming out and other feminist blogs are plugging it. Now they are coming under fire for supporting Marcotte and (by proxy) her inflammatory reaction to women of color's concern.

END SUPER DUPER CONDENSED VERSION

I get that many WOC are angry over this .... I clearly see it in comment after comment at Feministe and other threads. And I have to say, I think the anger is justified. The more I familiarize myself with the situation and other WOC issues with the community, the more I see that feminism has not been perfect (as I so wish it was) -- its like the day you wake up and realize your parents don't know everything and they're not perfect...and it breaks my heart.

My message to Amanda Marcotte

Please, if you're reading this, I had been a fan of your writing for a long time. People are asking for you to be open-minded and examine your privilege and some of the choices you’ve made. This community is too important to ignore any of its voices! These women are too important. I can understand feeling attacked because a lot of people have hurtful things to say (rather than critical, helpful things), but I think a great majority of us watching from the sidelines want to see this resolved and know that, as Jill said, “good people can be idiots sometimes.” Please help fix this. You have power in this situation to do real good.

But here's when I got mad. Someone at Feministe had this to say:

When it comes down to it, you white chicks, ya’ll really aren’t to be trusted.

Not only that, several comments following AGREED with that statement, saying it "said it all."

Really? THAT said it all? If we didn't have untrustworthy white women, feminism would be hunky dory?

I get “wanting” to say something like that when you feel marginalized or silenced. When I feel anger at the patriarchy, I’ve been tempted to type the same sentiment about men. But that’s not dialogue, that’s spewing bile into the world. And frankly, it’s prejudiced.* The fact that I’m a white woman does not mean I would stomp on the back of ANYONE to get anywhere. That’s akin to claiming that all men are sexist assholes not to be trusted.

Feminism is for everyone – men and women of all races.

The fact that BIG mistakes have been made is a problem. I see that we have a LOT of work to do here. I am showing solidarity with WOC on this. When I read that SEAL press (who published Marcotte's latest book) brushed off well known WOC bloggers saying, "A black feminist can’t sell" (seriously?), well quite frankly I could be sick.

Here's my message to WOC bloggers who've been hurt by this:

Plenty of us white, privileged bloggers are TRYING. I know I am. I want to understand better where WOC are coming from. I want to familiarize myself with any specific challenges you face so I know how to be an ally, not an idiot. I want to support you. I don't want to tear you down. I realize that I've been a white woman in the Midwest who (to be honest) has been surrounded by white people her whole life. I realize I have a lot to learn.

But I don’t want to silence any feminist. EVER. Please do not throw up your hands on all white women because some white people aren’t playing fair.

* Originally I called that 'racist' but I see now (thanks to the awesomeness of Daisy) that that word does not apply!

*Update. If you want a good staring point to understand this perhaps check the wikipedia article and its subsequent links.

Fuck the police?

Most recent victim of police brutality (story and full video below)

That rap song pissed a lot of people off. Everyone wanted to talk about it/censor it/condemn the performers. And I've never enjoyed listening to it-- But as I start seeing more and more stories of police brutality and misconduct, I feel I can empathize with the anger it must have taken to write a song like "fuck the police."

It's no secret that police brutality has long been a weapon used against minorities. After the Rodney King incident and subsequent trial, it was on everybody's radar. But we've come a long way since Rodney King and the days where cops looked the other way or God forbid, even helped lynch mobs do their dirty work.

Cops have always walk a fine line in our culture's history-- sometimes they're respected and beloved, other times they're "pigs."

I've had some great experiences with police officers. I've worked in emergency rooms as a rape victim advocate and met with some kind, caring and well educated cops. I've done trainings side by side with officers. But I'm no fool. There's bad eggs out there, just like any job. The only difference being --- that a bad egg police officer still has a gun, maybe even a taser, and the ability to order me around.

In the aftermath of September 11th, we were quick to put all servicemen and women on a pedestal. Police officers were heroes and anyone who said differently was unpatriotic. I get that. I was in NYC in 2005 at the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Even years after 9/11, I got teary seeing the officers march to bagpipes. Still, it's dangerous to hero-worship to the point of ignorance.

The same shit happens with the troops. I will forever have pride in my heart for our men and women in uniform. Many of my family members have been overseas or are there now. However, soldier worship can become dangerous. When we refuse to see flaws in our military and SOME of its troops, we are tentative to report on their misconduct. Like this, and this, and some other horrible stories that our media doesn't want to talk about because it gets in the way of our proud flag waving.

And it does suck. Every time one police officer or soldier fucks up it reflects on the whole group, it diminishes the good work they do and draws attention to the negative. It makes the lines between good guy/bad guy blurry and it makes us all uncomfortable.

But I'm getting way off topic... my original point is we need to start taking more notice of police brutality. I mean, I know "don't tase me bro" was an internet sensation, but I don't find that shit funny. There have been some pretty clear cut cases of police officers using tasers negligently or too frequently-- there's actually a whole website dedicated to this taser-frenzied police force we've created.

Then there was the story of the female VICTIM who called police for help. When an officer arrived, he asked for her ID and she mistakenly gave him her sister's drivers license (a keepsake, her sister was deceased). He refused to give it back to her, at one point saying "Shut up about your dead sister." When she persisted, he arrested her and later under questioning, the woman was attacked and violently strip searched (be careful, link takes you to some triggering video). She was strip searched and left naked for 6 hours. Several male officers held her down during the process.

Today on You tube I see this video:



Side note: I'd like to know... if this woman "fell" while trying to exit the door again, how did she end up in the middle of the room in a pool of blood?

Raw video here.

Seriously. I'm starting to feel like these aren't isolated incidents. I'm starting to feel like I'm not going to be safe if I ever need police help.

So how do we strike that balance? Where we acknowledge and thank the honest, brave men and women who defend us at home and overseas while not giving an inch when it comes to assholes in uniform who need to be called out?

I don't understand

I don't pretend to be a scientist. Hell, I got a C- in college meteorology and that was that the extent of anything I could call science.

However I know that stem cells could promise some amazing results and possibly even cures for people suffering from serious diseases.

Reading a story like this just makes me want to go visit every pro-life, anti-stem cell person and ask... WHY!?!? Why would you doom this human life to death and extinguish any hope for cure? Why would you take away the possibility for that family to keep their mother? How would you feel if this was the mother of your children or your father? Would you want them to have the chance then? Ask Nancy Reagan about that.

While I think it's noble that these people talk about all human life having value, I just don't really buy it. How can you say that, really?

Mr. Bush promises to veto anything to do with stem cell research because "human life has value." Yet he wants to send so many of our living, breathing American citizens to fight and die. If human life has enough value that we protect it, even at a one-cell stage, you'd think we'd avoid war at any cost. No matter what, we'd have to go a pacifist route to keep the sanctity of human life.

I guess Bush could spout something about "sacrifice for the greater good." Yes, we have to send our finest to fight for the security of all Americans. Okay fine.

Well then let me talk a little bit about sacrifice.

How about the sacrifice to save people from suffering, disease and death? If some cells need to be sacrificed for the common good of all Americans and really-- people everywhere, I think we should do it right?

I'm only using the Bushman's logic here....

Overwhelming injustice

There are six year old girls who are left in cages when they aren't being gang raped. There are children this young dying as a result of these tortures, dying of HIV and trauma.

Why are we not outraged?

Where are the pro-life people now? Doesn't this human life mean anything?

Sign this petition

Help out Planned Parenthood

This petition urges support for the Prevention First Act.

Remember the facts:

Birth Control-

Title X, the nation's first and only family planning program, provides reproductive health care services to five million low-income women each year -- helping to avoid one million unintended pregnancies annually.

- Unfortunately, Title X is grossly underfunded and cannot serve all 17 million low-income women who need access to publicly-funded reproductive health care services. Unintended pregnancies and abortions among low-income women are on the rise.- Title X must be fully funded and access should be expanded through Medicaid.

Sex Ed- One billion dollars has been wasted on abstinence-only education, which denies young people real information about how to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS.

- Seventy-five percent of parents believe comprehensive, medically accurate sex education should be taught in schools.- Congress should protect teens' health by passing REAL, the Responsible Education About Life act.

August 26th

Do not let August 26th pass unnoticed

In 1971, Untied States congress made August 26 “Women’s Equality Day.” It celebrates the passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution. Suffragists were not “given” the right to vote but rather won it. Their battle began back in 1848 with Susan B. Anthony and ended in 1920, after suffragists were wrongly imprisoned, beaten and tortured. We owe it to the memory of these brave women to never stop fighting for equality.

Consider women’s healthcare today. I had a harsh awakening as a 22-year-old woman when I realized my health insurance would gladly cover Viagra, but would not under ANY circumstances cover contraception in ANY plan they offered.

Money is the major barrier to contraception access. If a woman’s childbearing age is on average 15-44 and the average cost of contraception can run $360 a year – then you do the math. Women in my age group currently spend 68 percent MORE on health care than men because of reproductive health-related costs.

Where is our equality?

Meanwhile pharmacists are refusing to fill legal prescriptions for Plan B Emergency Contraception and birth control because they claim it conflicts with their moral beliefs. These are legal drugs that are vital to the basic health care of women. Restricting access is an outright act of gender discrimination and it can lead to unintended pregnancies.

Where is our equality?

Health insurers continue to ignore basic fact, that covering contraception saves them money! The average cost for one pregnancy is $10,000. One year of birth control just doesn’t compare.

Twenty-three states have issued laws that require full contraceptive equality. We could make it 50… if we don’t forget we have the right to equality.

For more information visit http://www.covermypills.org/

Thankful to be an American

Women' rights have a long way to go in the United States. The history of women's rights in this country is even more embarassing--- I just bought a book "The Boundaries of Her Body: The Troubling History of Women's Rights in America" and it's bigger than my bible!! Yet, I still realize how lucky we are.

Because we didn't grow up in Africa. I mean, the country suffers from a major AIDS crisis and widespread poverty, not to mention terrible political and civil upset. Genocide has left many refugees behind, many of them women (millions of rape victims among them). But we are also lucky to be American because stuff like this happens in Africa. As if female genital mutilation and rape/abduction marriages aren't bad enough... now reports show that 1 in 4 girls living in Cameroon suffer a new form of mutilation.

Breast ironing:

~~~When hard, heated objects (or other substances like boiling water) are used to try to stunt breast growth. When girls begin to develop, often their mothers or older sisters begin the ironing process. Side-effects include "severe pain and abscesses, infections, breast cancer, and even the complete disappearance of one or both breasts." This savage practice has also endangered the next generation. Some victims of ironing cannot produce milk to feed their infants.

Apparently this practice is a very old tradition but it has just started to nab some press time. Women who were themselves victims, are in turn ironing their own daughter's breasts because they believe it's the best thing they can do to protect their daughters from rape.

"A survey of more than 5,000 girls and women aged between 10 and 82 from throughout Cameroon, published last month, estimated that 4 million women in the central African country have suffered the process."

Now, this is a racist thing to say, but I immediately assumed this would be associated with fundamentalist Islam. After all, you most often hear about their atrocities against women as far as genital mutilation (not to mention covering women with burqas). However, breast ironing is most common in the Christian parts of the country. Only 10 percent of women in Muslim provinces are affected. Certainly an eye-opener to me (and hopefully to everyone) that violence against women and disdain for outward signs of sexuality (especially female sexuality) does not discriminate when it comes to religion. It's a worldwide epidemic of fear, distrust and violence directed at females.

I know these questions go without saying but I'll state them anyway... why are women responsible for the sexual abuse they receive? Why are they mutilated for the benefit of men or for their "protection" -- and by mutilated I mean clitorises severed and breasts ironed off. What is next? If lips become a symbol of lust, will they cut those off? If speech becomes too independent, will they cut out a woman's tongue?

These atrocities are an EVERYONE-issue-- basic human rights violations. It was wrong to keep people in shackles because they are black, therefore our slaves. It was wrong to pin on a Star of David and dehumanize, degrade and eventually kill millions of Jews in the Holocaust. It is wrong throw a large sheet over a woman, or iron off her breasts.

Be aware that "women's issues" are really human issues. And be concerned because reactions to what is different, and what we fear are still very, very barbaric.

Women's Health Needs Help!

I'm in my early 20s and I can name three girls off the top of my head that have had breast lumps removed. All, have thankfully been benign, but lumps are simply not dealt with lightly anymore, even in 20 year old women.

You'd think with all the pink ribbon bonanza and breast cancer awareness, research etc that we could rest easy, right? No need to worry about the cause. I mean, you can find pink ribbon jewelry, candles, pins, picture frames etc. And all those high profile commercials on TV advocating mammograms and early detection. Breast cancer is not a back-burner issue by any means.

We are told that one in 8 American women will be stricken with invasive breast cancer in her lifetime. So consequently, we take any lump seriously, we donate to the cause and wear our pink ribbons proudly.

I thought we were doing all we could, until I read June's issue of "Marie Claire" magazine.

An investigative piece revealed the puzzling fact that it's easier to schedule yourself for breast augmentation surgery than schedule your mammogram!

The reporter attempts to schedule an appointment with a plastic surgeon in New York City. She calls two separate offices and finds that she can see a doctor as soon as tomorrow and can have a new set of breasts anywhere from 4 weeks to 3 months from now.

However, when she places a call to "a leading New York City Hospital" she's told she has to wait SIX MONTHS for a mammogram. A call is placed to another hospital, where she leaves her information on an answering machine but never receives a call back. A third facility says the wait will be two months. When the reporter tells them, "But I found a lump," the woman says there's nothing she can do; it will still be a two month wait.

According to this article "early detection facilities for breast cancer have been closing rather than opening!"

The American College of Radiology says that facilities that perform mammograms have dropped 9% from 2000 to 2004.

This is likely due to the money factor because mammograms lose money not MAKE money for a hospital.

From Marie Claire:

"In 2005, 63% of radiology facilities lost money on the procedure while just 29% broke even on it. Insurance companies reimbursement rates do not fully cover the cost of performing the procedure- partly because of the high insurance premiums radiologists themselves have to pay for performing mammograms. According to the Physician Insurers Association of America, misdiagnosed cases of breast cancer are the leading cause of diagnostic malpractice claims (Mammograms miss 10 to 15% of cancers)."

How to look out for yourself:
When you're getting your current mammogram, don't leave the doctor's office without scheduling your next one!

The cold hard truth is that in our society, cosmetic surgery to enhance our breasts is more readily avaliable than a relatively simple procedure to prevent cancer and save a life.

****
Pick up this issue of Marie Claire (it features Julia Stiles on the cover). Other great investigative pieces show that:
-- It can take only 30 minutes to get a gun and yet 4 weeks to issue a restraining order!
and
-- You can get heroin in 35 minutes while is takes 72 hours to fill Emergency contraception!

It has to be said...

I have to be honset... and it's hard. Are you ready?

I understand people who are pro-life.

If I was pregnant I wouldn't think about the "fetus" I was carrying, I'd think about my baby. I am not pro-abortion. But I can't be pro-life either because what they stand for isn't practical for women.

Awhile ago, someone commented on my blog, "Ok, get over your men are against women attitude!!! Seriously, we live in the 21st century now and women are treated equally to men."

But when you open your eyes to what is happening, you can see that women are not being treated equally... If you don't believe me, click on some of my links. "Where's the outrage" "Planned Parenthood" or "Choice Magazine."

We've all heard the news of what is going on in S.D. but that isn't the full story...


Let's imagine you're a woman in South Dakota

You cannot get birth control

A recent bill, HB1183, would have mandated that insurance companies cover contraception for women. Logic: Insurance companies in S.D. do cover erectile disfunction drugs. BILL WAS VOTED DOWN.

If you are raped...

Measure SB175 would have required medical facilities to provide information about emergency contraception to rape victims. Opponents said, "There’s another voice that needs to be heard, and that is of the baby.” MEASURE WAS VOTED DOWN.

If a rape or incest results in pregnancy...

Bill HB1132, would have cut parental rights for rapists whose victims become pregnant and decide to have their babies.

The measure would have applied in cases of rape and incest, requiring judges to terminate parental rights of convicted rapists because rapists have sought to visit children only to harass their victims in hopes of getting out of child-support payments.

The bill would have allowed judges to order criminals to make restitution to their victims and payments for the support of children born as a result of rapes.
BILL WAS DEFEATED 11-1.

Tell me how I'm equal in that situation?

PS: More trouble rising in S.D.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/24/dakota.abortion.ap/index.html
If this law passed, it could endanger women's rights across the nation.

Be vocal if you don't agree

In addition to being "loud" in my daily life and also sending letters to people in congress, I encourage all of you to be aware as well...

(***This post is serious, and I apologize but I wanted to put this information out there.***)

I AM WORRIED about our Supreme Court!

» In Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey, Judge Alito expressed support for a Pennsylvania law that required most married women, including many abused women, to notify their husbands prior to obtaining an abortion.

» Sometime between 1981 and 1985, Alito was involved in the legal analysis which became the basis of the Reagan administration's attempt to overturn Roe V. Wade.

» As a judge, Alito in 2004 voted to approve a ruling that a strip-search of a 10-year-old girl during a police raid of her father's house did not violate the Constitution.

» In 1997, Judge Alito found the claims of racial discrimination in the hiring practices of a hotel to be unfounded. The majority opinion rejected Alito's reasoning and found in favor of the plaintiffs.

» Alito ruled in 1996 on the side of gun dealers selling outlawed machine guns in Pennsylvania.

» In a 1985 job application to become deputy assistant to the U.S. attorney general, Alito wrote that he was against particular affirmative action programs and that "...the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion." He added, "I personally believe very strongly" in this legal position.

If you also do not agree with these views, please make your voice heard.

Why we can’t catch Osama

Are you aware that the FBI has a “porn squad”?

I was not. And now that I know, I am confused. Do I laugh hysterically or bang my head against the wall?

A brief history:

The U.S.A. has always been a bit uptight about sex, (we were founded by Puritans after all) but according to all that I’ve read, “federal obscenity prosecutions have been out of style since the Reagan administration made pornography a signature issue in the 1980s.” (Apparently porn is the favorite issue of every wanna-be-cowboy, mean republican President.) Anyway…

The current “Porn Squad” formed earlier this September. It was federally funded by congress and backed by Bush and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Keep in mind, I spent a summer working for a non-profit dedicated to abused women’s services so it isn’t like I enjoy, appreciate or even advocate porn. I’ve seen porn. It was the most turned off I’ve ever been in my life. Pornography makes my skin crawl.

That being said, people still have first amendment rights. I could understand the FBI cracking down on violent pornography or child pornography but that isn’t what this “special force” is doing. They are focusing on pornography for consenting adults. Um, can we say waste of time and resources?

Top priorities of FBI are:
-Protecting the United States from terrorist attack
-Foreign espionage
-Cyber-based attacks
-Public corruption

Below those priorities are civil rights, organized crime, white-collar crime and "significant violent crime."

Please tell me how porn figures into our top priority list? Above significant violent crime, civil rights or other cyber based crimes like identity theft?????

The government and Christian conservatives argue that “adult pornography is a threat to families and children.” I argue that it’s in poor taste but a bigger danger to your children is perhaps CHILD PORNOGRAPHY and your family would be better protected from identity theft than the big bad pornographer.

It’s no wonder we can’t catch Osama or run a decent, well-planned “war on terror”--- we’re too busy trying to get rid of Jenna Jameson.

And aren’t you thankful? Don’t you feel safer?

Didn’t think so.