"I'm just not up for a big search today"

I imagine the police and sheriffs department's whining went something like that.

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student was killed by her ex-boyfriend, who then dismembered and burned her body on a patio grill, authorities said Saturday.

The story highlights go on to say that:
• Timothy Shepherd, 27, said he was jealous of ex's new relationship
• No search for body because remains were burned to nothing, sheriff says
• Tynesha Stewart, a college freshman, was last seen with Shepherd on March 15

So this woman was viciously murdered by lame ex who couldn't let go but since there's so many more important things to do, the authorities can't be bothered to find what's left of her?

This reaction prompted outrage from the family and victim advocates. According to cops they "knew, but could not disclose, that there were no body parts to find. Investigators were unable to release that information to the public or to Stewart's family because of the investigation." Apparently the family has now accepted this as well.

Interesting fact, most patio grills owned by average Joe don't reach temps that could cremate a body. Cremation "depends on the weight of the individual. For an average size adult, cremation takes from two to three hours at normal operating temperature between 1,500 degrees F to 2,000 degrees F."

Even the CNN article points out this glaring problem. "Although human remains generally require extremely high temperatures to destroy, Thomas would not discuss how he believed the body could be burned to nothing."

Fine, maybe I'm being unfair to cops on this one. The family has accepted this and whatever is left is probably small. It would be an exhaustive search with little result. It just seems to add insult to serious injury that this woman was brutally murdered and tossed away as if she amounted to nothing and then since searching for any remains would be "nearly impossible" they'd just forgo it. It just doesn't seem good enough, does it?

I guess I'm mostly mad because crap like this continues. Somehow people think it's okay to treat women this way. Recently I attended a speaker who talked about her experience with domestic violence.

She left an abusive marriage and divorced. She was forced to share joint custody of her young children. One evening she stopped by her ex-husband's home to pick up her children. He told her to come inside and get them because "they were hiding." When she entered the house, he attacked her from behind with a bat and beat her about the head, then he strangled her. As she lost consciousness he took her and put her headfirst into a large garbage can. Then he filled it with snow and placed it on the back of his flatbed truck, covering it with a tarp.

Then he took the two kids and drove (with mom in back in a garbage can) and hit up the McDonald's drive through. He eventually took his wife across state lines, and put her in a storage locker he rented, piling 2x4s and boxes on top of the garbage can. After he shut the door, he went to work in an air traffic tower that overlooked the storage locker.

The woman, Teri Jendusa-Nicolai, talked about how she lost all her toes to frostbite, miscarried the baby she was carrying *she had remarried* and now she was fighting in court where defense attorneys were still asking her questions like "What did you say to your ex-husband prior to the attack that upset him?" YES, what did YOU do to make him beat you with a bat, strangle you, and leave you in a frozen grave?"

Nothing new for her really, people always asked her when she was married what she did to make him mad? What were YOU doing before he beat you? How is this YOUR FAULT?

But it's never the woman's fault, as much as we try and make it. This is about power and control. The idea that "I will lock you away and watch you from work." "I will take life from you, cut you apart and burn you to nothing. I own you."

It's disgusting. I'm so sick of it.

Something good to read.