Friday, June 15, 2007

Marital rape-- it happens-- and it's ugly

Courtesy of Bitch Ph. D. -- possibly the MOST disturbing thing I've seen in weeks. And I see some disturbing shit.

This. story. is. sick.

Summed up:

A man in Ottawa City, Kansas, Weldon Padgett, repeatedly raped his wife. He drugged her red-wine and had sex with her while she was unconscious.

Padgett’s wife said her memory problems began in 2006 and she eventually linked the memory lapses and blackouts to drinks, usually wine, that her husband gave her. She said she would often wake up after drinking the beverages and find evidence that she had had sex, although she didn’t remember. When she confronted her husband with her suspicions, he said he was concerned for her mental health.

Ah nice. Make your wife think she's got mental problems. Fortunately the wife was smart.

Padgett's wife pretended to drink a beverage that she suspected was tampered with and then acted like she passed out. She said her husband then had sex with her, although she had refused to have sex earlier that night.

Another kicker... the bond on this man has been increased 10K because he had the audacity to send her CHILDREN over to give her a "Mother's Day" gift. Guess what it was? A bottle of red wine. Can we say sociopath?

Now after all this you wouldn't think it could get any worse. BUT IT DOES. The online article opened a comment field.

Where gems like this surface:

It sounds to me like this uptight, hands-off, ultra-conservative may have run his name through the mud to ensure she still could have drained him of every penny.

Sounds like she was a very bitter person. If she was so unhappy in the marriage that she wanted no part of sex, they should have divorced when that lightbulb illuminated itself over her head....

Granted, he was wrong to drug her, but she was withholding marital relations. Either way, he was going to get screwed.

OR THIS...

Shame on him for being an idiot with drugging her, if he did it. But shame on her for withholding relations and not just asking for a divorce, long before this occurred, so they might both move on.

OR THIS...

She should be prosecuted for violating her marriage vows..

There's many, MANY more.

Is it possible to throw up and cry at the same time? Victim blaming has hit an all new low.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

I honestly do not know what to write, Tobes you've managed to actually shock me into silence, something very few people have ever done. Prosecuted for violating her marriage vows? All I can really say after reading all of this is...what the fuck is wrong with our world.

Tobes said...

Amen sister-- I'm scared too!

Anonymous said...

bobbit, bobbit, bobbit time

Anonymous said...

nice post!! educated professional!! sociopath, indeed. sure...what is the harm in a little liquid control anyway??? i wonder how much other manipulated control he had in the "relationship" as well???

Anonymous said...

i know the couple, i know their kids.
i knew them before this and interact with both of them after this came out.

my question to you is....why do you assume that she was withholding sex.

that is a great assumption on your part.

in fact, when she shared her suspicions about what was happening with me....the first question i asked was about sex...and "she" told me that they had sex.

from the source.

he wanted more...and/or wanted a different kind...

Tobes said...

Anonymous--- I hope you know that the comments were not me speaking but actually people on a website commenting on the story. I have no idea if this had to do with witholding-- if it did, it wouldn't matter. But it's interesting that you know this couple.

Ruby said...

Bringing it back up again, because the trail has started.
Don't judge this from what can be written in the newspaper or put on radio or TV. Has it occurred to anyone that it wasn't good old fashioned let's-make-a-baby roll-in-the-hay that he wanted?
Where would you draw the line on kinky and call it abhorrent? Assuming she was telling the truth in the first place, She had plenty of advise from good Christian Married women (as well as some more liberally minded) on this. Where is the limit on the marriage vows? Is the marriage vow more binding and important than all the other commandments and other rules, laws, and taboos? Are you seeing people suggest that "no matter what" a husband has the right to expect his wife to fulfill whatever fantasy he can think of or find on the internet? What would you expect of your sister or daughter in marriage? What would you want your grandchildren exposed to? What kind of stories do you think her children tell at "Show and Tell" time? There's a lot of shades of gray in this case, on both sides. It's so easy to be flippant and judgmental when you're a thousand miles away. These kids have issues that no one should have to deal with.

Anonymous said...

I know her well. I dated her after the fact. I got to looking online just becasue I lost contact with her and wondered how her case turned out. I can say she was a wonderful person. I think she handled it increadibly well considering. The guy was a douche. And he wanted very unnatural creepy stuff. She was put in a horrible position of being both raped and hit with how do you do something about it considering the man is also the father of your two kids. And the fact that as we have seen a lot of people would question her truthfulness if she just made allegations with no proof. She now has to raise two kids with a husband in jail and no way of financially supporting them.