Man alive, just WHAT are we going to do with kids these days!

via fabulous guest blogger Adrienne

I mean, they are just so spoiled. Parents are off working long… long…. Long days… sometimes not even getting home in time to have dinner with their children—what a sacrifice for mom and dad to make! Parents are working SO hard in order to make sure that their kids don't have to go through what they did: teasing over un-cool clothes or not having the world's best and most cutting edge STUFF. A High Def flat screen runs for $800, it could take a kid months mowing lawns to earn that kind of dough. So what are we to do? We have to work.

And now these girls in Maine and ALL OVER THE COUNTRY have the audacity to make an adult decision and start having sex—and then an even BIGGER decision by wanting access to birth control? Well pshaw! Who do these girls think they are—where are they learning this behavior? Got to be the liberal media, right? Those loud mouth feminists—those are the ones who are causing all the trouble, advocating for abortions and putting birth control pills into our daughter's hands when they should be at home, on the couch, watching TV like a normal 11 year old! Not having sex!

After all, I had to pull a double shift to get them that High Def flat screen TV so that they could watch their favorite program: That 70s Show. Watch this clip of Eric and Donna, a true love story for our times. That Jacque is a regular run of the mill hoochie, but DONNA… now THERE is a role model that I'm glad my girls have.



YAY!!! I mean… wait a minute. Is that how that was supposed to go? Donna…. STAYED? She gave up her dream of traveling the world, with our without Eric, and decided to stay… put her life on hold…. Just to stay with Eric?

Well okay. Maybe my 11-year-old shouldn't be watching That 70s show anyway. When I get home I'll have them show me how to program the V-Chip.

Here we go. Here's something that is a little more age appropriate, Beauty and the Beast. What little girl doesn't want to be a princess? That's what it really comes down to, right? Acting like a lady means that boys will respect you and treat you like a queen.

Belle is really the kind of girl that I would want to be friends with. What a good head on her shoulders. Look at that—making such a sacrifice for her Dad, and you just know how it will turn out. The Beast will throw her in a dungeon—well he has to, at first, right?—Then he will ask her on a date. That's nice of him, a really good gesture. And since Belle is such a lady, she will certainly be gracious—well, now wait a minute. Okay, okay… Belle surely you can say no, just for tonight. You're upset and you miss your Dad, that's okay. You can have tonight to pout, I'm sure the Beast will understand…. Right?

Hey, wait a minute. Is Belle trying to escape? And the Beast is going after her… to SAVE her, right? Well every woman needs a strong man to protect her, after all. Well she could have never made it on her own, she's just lucky that the Beast was willing to take her back. Well the details don't matter. What matters is the moral of the story: If you love someone enough, even if they abuse you, imprison you, and intimidate you, if you just stick by their side, eventually they will turn into a prince.

Wait. Is that what I want my daughter to think?

Fine, we'll put in Mulan. There's a good show with a STRONG female character—no sex in this film. See, there you go. Mulan wins the war, gets the blessing of the emperor and goes home to pay respects to her father. See how proud they are? No sex references. I'll just turn this off… oh wait. What was that, Granny? You aren't so hot on her bringing home a sword, you would have rather that she brought home a man?

But…. Can't it just be a movie about Mulan saving the country? Is that not enough? She needs to do all of that on high heels with perfect make up and hair?

Wow. Maybe if I were more in touch with what was actually parenting my child—the TV, the media, and other CHILDREN—I would understand why they are becoming sexually active… why they are getting pregnant… and why they feel they need birth control.

Lucky there's a Family Guy?

I have blogged before about my guilt regarding the hit animated show, Family Guy.

As I stated, this show blasts everyone! As evidenced in this clip from the Emmy's where they pick on lots of people and (I think) it's pretty damn funny. Especially the hit to the Sopranos.


I'm not so uptight that I can't handle some rude humor. Hell, I love South Park and that stuff can get GROSS. I mean, at one point Cartman kills a kid's parents and feeds them to him in chilli. So yeah.... but I haven't heard of one kid in real life doing anything like that.

What I have heard of is women being raped and abused DAILY- and Family Guy jokes about that constantly. In fact it seems they have at least ONE anti-woman joke per episode. Whether it's something light like making fun of the WNBA or serious like Stewie shooting a hooker.


That particular video is flagged for "adult eyes only" -- for those of you without a youtube account, I shall summarize:

- Stewie uses a rifle with a scope to aim at a prostitute
- He calls this his "daily community service"
- After the hooker is shot dead, Quagmire says his usual, "All right"
- Then he begins to drag her lifeless body back inside for more sex.

Charming right?

Well the other day I was watching an episode and I saw this:



I shall summarize again because (as my last Family Guy post shows... you tube eventually has to pull all these illegal clips anyway-- booo).
- At the bottom of the screen you see Marge Simpson
- Quagmire attacks her, forces himself between her legs and appears to hump her.
- She pushes him away, fighting him off, eventually she runs
- He follows her with his pants around his ankles
- They both return a minute later and he says, "see that wasn't so bad"
- She responds with something like "yeah it was great"
- They go back to the "Simpson house" where they have more sex
- Quagmire is discovered by Homer
- Quagmire shoots and kills every member of the Simpson family.

Yes---- really.

Apparently Simpsons fans and the show's creator, Matt Groening are vocal in their dislike of Family Guy. Still, was this the proper response?

Why make a rape/murder joke? Much less make the joke where the raped woman decides that -- wow, she enjoyed the rape and is ready for more! But it gets even funnier when the entire family is subsequently murdered (including the baby!).

Ummmm, why? Why is that funny?

I am on a Family Guy break for awhile. If that's the best shit they can come up with then I'd rather watch something else-- something truly funny-- like the Office... where they can make sexist jokes but pull it off in a FUNNY WAY!!! Imagine that!

Glenn Beck & Bill Donahue tie for IDIOT of the year award

My last post was all about the middle school in Maine dispensing birth control for girls. So I'm not going into all the details or why I think it's a good idea. You can just read it.

When it comes to controversial topics involving sex, some things are just 100% predictable. I'm talking romantic-comedies-starring-Drew-Barrymore predictable. First predictable thing: CNN's Glenn Beck will be a total moron and #2 President of the Catholic League will be invited on moron's moronic show to be an even bigger moron. ... one more time for good measure... MORON!

It's no surprise that people are talking about girls getting birth control and it's definitely no surprise that Bill Donahue would get in on the action-- he revels the opportunity to bash feminism, contraception and talk about "saving women from themselves." Here's some of the gems from the conversation between Beck and Donahue:

Beck: Now, right now it is illegal in Maine for kids under the age of 14 to have sex at all, whether it is consensual or not. Yet you have a local school commission that is not only underhandedly encouraging sex; they`re actually enabling it. "Hey, kids, go break the law."

I understand that there`s disease out there. But we`re talking now about taking the pill. Now we`re saying, "Hey, you go ahead" -- I mean, how easy are we going to make it?

Sex Ed 101, Glen-- The pill isn't about preventing disease, it's about preventing pregnancy! Giving a woman (or girls) a prescription for birth control is not the same as saying "go have sex." It's saying, "if you have sex, and don't want to become pregnant, you need this."

Since 2000, this middle school gave out condoms and Glenn Beck wasn't wetting the bed. Now that we give young girls the option to protect themselves against pregnancy (itself terribly dangerous for an 11-13 year old) NOW-- it's a problem.

Such a problem that we're practically building a copulation room and tearing down the library. Seriously, Beck was on Good Morning America when he said,

Why don`t we -- the library`s outdated. Why don`t we have a copulation room?

What type of rounded logic is that? By giving a sexually active girl options to prevent pregnancy we're forcing sex on her?

The program only gets better because then, Bill Donahue (AKA EVIL INCARNATE) is invited to speak.

DONAHUE: Well, you know, this is the goal of the sexual engineers. It has been for a very long time. This libertine notion of sexuality.

....I would say this. You know, the original feminists -- I`m talking about the ones in the 19th century -- they understood that one of the goals of their movement was to protect innocent women from being preyed upon by irresponsible men."

Really? Feminism was started to protect innocent women from irresponsible men. I thought feminism was about giving women equal opportunity so she wouldn't have to be dependent on men-- irresponsible or not. Feminism meant that women could vote, be assured safety within her marriage, hold property, secure a job to feed herself and have some control if she wanted a divorce but didn't want to lose her kids.

But no, I guess Susan B Anthony just wanted to save women from "irresponsible" men. What kind of bullshit, non-committal word is "irresponsible" anyway, Bill? What irresponsible things were these men doing-- beating their wives? Taking all their money? Raping women? WHAT?

The insanity continues:

Donahue: There`s no question that -- that young men have always been throughout all of history in all societies the most irresponsible segment of society. You know what the message is being sent to young men, and I`m talking about ones who are also over the age of 18.

The message that will be sent to young men is this: they`re fair game. The girl is just off her tricycle. She`s 11 years of age. You can`t even dispense an aspirin to the kid in the school, but you can get them the birth control kit. The boy picks up the message she`s fair game; let`s go get them.

If you want them to exploit girls, this is the way to go.

This is the classic argument against contraception (and frankly it's insulting to women and men). Most often you hear this nonsensical tirade from the Catholic Church. You can't give women the option to prevent pregnancy because if she has that, men will take advantage of her sexually and use her as an object (cause that never happens to women who aren't on the pill).

This asinine argument makes women out to be helpless pawns. Rather than admit that preventing/planning pregnancy gives women power, these pricks twist the argument so that THEY are the only ones looking out for women... poor little woman, she doesn't realize the harm she'll cause to herself.

In Donahue's world, these 11 year old girls would be safe and chaste without the pill, but with it, they'll be preyed upon by boys who just want to use them. Anyone else think that's unreasonable?

Donahue further explains that contraception is really the root of all evil for women and that girls who dare use this method are setting themselves up for a life of terrible sadness.

When these girls become emotionally distraught and when they grow up and they realize that they gave in to young guys and some of the guys not so young, because their own mother had the nerve to go ahead and offer that girl the pill, and the guys in the neighborhood all knew about it and therefore took advantage of her, that`s the real price and the damage that will be done.

I like how this is all the mother's fault-- where is the dad? It's pretty obvious that Donahue blames feminism and contraception for "destroying the lives of your children."

Also-- once you're on the pill, "all the guys on the block will take advantage of you" -- it sure sounds like Donahue is calling contraception the SLUT pill.

If you still have any questions as to Donahue's sanity, guess what he thinks the evil libertines want to do with newborn boys?

You know, these people say that they`re on the side of women? The biggest enemy of women in America today, and particularly young girls, are coming from the sexually libertine sexual engineers who will stop at nothing. And if they had it their way, they would order the doctor to sew a condom onto the infant male on his penis as soon as he`s born. They`re simply out of control.

How is it possible that Glenn Beck and Bill Donahue equate pregnancy prevention with copulation rooms at school, sewing condoms onto infants and getting freaky on a tricycle? It's because the idea that women could avoid consequences of sex (PREGNANCY) scares the shit out of them.

As I stated in my last post, it is awful to think that young girls would have sex. But if we can all agree that we don't want a pregnant 11-year old girl, and we can't FORCE kids to remain chaste (or force their parents to ... parent), then we should help them prevent pregnancy. Yes, the pill won't prevent disease but condoms do and the school has those on hand as well. Imagine that-- equal opportunity protection!

Beck and Donahue give us a world where women and girls are helpless victims incapable of making good choices about sex. Their solution is to give them less options. Raise your hand if you detect circular logic and misogyny!

How young is too young?

Oh dear! I saw the birth control pills, now I want the sex!

Sometimes you just see the HEADLINE of a story and you know it's gonna be trouble... For example, today I saw this on CNN and MSN's homepage:

“Maine middle school to offer birth control.”

Now, we all know the anti-choice movement is adamant in its opposition to birth control. I’ve discussed that dirty secret on another blog. While the overwhelming majority of Americans support contraceptive access for adult women, the lines get fuzzier when it comes to children. Hence the debate about sex education and access for minors.

A middle school health center prescribing birth control is surely going to spark debate.

At King Middle School in Portland, Maine young girls age 11-13 can now access birth control without consent from parents. This thought makes a lot of people uncomfortable. From the comment field on the MSN story:

No---this is a moral issue. They should keep their pants ON!!!!

NO NO NO. How can parents think/feel that THEY should not be responsible for their children's lives and leave it up to a school board????

Absolutely not. People seem to love undermining parents when it comes to their own children these days. If they are going to offer it, parental consent MUST be necessary for each individual thing administered to the student

Hell no! Since when do we allow our CHILDREN to make those kinds of decisions! I am completely disgusted

I don't see how this is even legal and do most 11 year olds even have a period?

It goes on and on… it does make me squirmy to think of girls having sex. Actually it makes me downright depressed. Of course sex isn’t healthy for children. But it makes me far less squirmy to know that IF these kids are having sex, they are taking some adult responsibility to protect themselves.

Clearly 11 year old girls DO get their period. As evidenced by the stats from the schools in Portland, Maine.

Portland's three middle schools reported 17 pregnancies during the last four years, not counting miscarriages or terminated pregnancies that weren't reported to the school nurse.

Also according to the article, “Five of the 134 students who visited King's health center during the 2006-07 school year reported having sexual intercourse” – not counting all the students who didn’t disclose or didn’t report other forms of sexual activitiy.

Some parents don’t like the idea that birth control will be prescribed without parental consent. Others feel that this will encourage sexual activity; some are even claiming that this “goes against God.”

I find no merit in hypothesizing on what angers God. However, I hope that parents do their research and realize that the availability of contraceptives should not encourage sex, but simply protect the sexually active. Also, if you already have a good relationship with your child, chances are they’ll discuss options with you anyway.

According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Teenagers who have strong emotional attachments to their parents are much less likely to become sexually active at an early age. Also parents rate high among many teens as trustworthy and preferred information sources on birth control. One in two teens say they "trust" their parents most for reliable and complete information about birth control, only 12 percent say a friend.

Therefore if you’re committed to having honest dialogue with your kids, then you’ll likely have a positive affect. From the same site, we understand the consequences of unprotected sex is devesatating for teens:

A sexually active teen who does not use contraception has a 90 percent chance of pregnancy within one year. Teen mothers are less likely to complete high school and are likely to end up on welfare (nearly 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare). The sons of teen mothers are 13 percent more likely to end up in prison while teen daughters are 22 percent more likely to become teen mothers themselves.

We know that some minors will have sex. If we ignore this fact, we are denying basic healthcare to protect young men and women. The availability of birth control doesn’t mean kids will start having sex. That is much more dependent on the relationships children have with their parents or other moral force (faith community, mentor etc).

When it comes to kids, where do we draw the line at access? Condoms? The patch? The pill? Or should we just teach them to “JUST SAY NO”?

Since 2000, King Middle School students have had access to condoms. With this new policy, birth control prescriptions will be given only after a student undergoes a physical exam by a physician or nurse practitioner. Furthermore students must have written parental permission to be treated at the health center. Howevever, once permission is attained, the student's medical records are confidential so parents would now know if their daughters were prescribed birth control.

According to the article:

About one-fourth of student health centers that serve at least one grade of adolescents 11 and older dispense some form of contraception, said Mohan, whose Washington-based organization represents more than 1,700 school-based centers nationwide.

In other parts of the country, things are very different. In Topeka, Kansas, school district policy forbids providing any contraceptives to students.

What would you like YOUR school to offer? Or what should YOUR kid's have for options?

Why doesn't she leave?

Next time you hear someone say this about domestic violence victims-- tell them to read THIS STORY. Cause this is what happens when women try and leave-- their abusers make good on death threats. Statistically this is when women are in the most danger-- when they try and take back control.

Kinyanjui was stabbed in the basement apartment with her youngest child nearby. Her sister and mother tried to stop the attack.

"I tried to hold the knife and I was cut here. Then he got that knife and then ... do that," Ruth Kinyanjui said, making a gesture of a knife being drawn across the throat.

"She was the most loving person. She was helping all of us. Myself, my mother, the children. She loved her two children very much. She obviously loved the father of the children and that's why she was always covering for him," Margaret Kinyanjui said.

Family said the pair had a long history of domestic violence dating back until at least 2000. They said Esther would often bail him out after he hurt her, but she moved to Delaware five months ago in an attempt to get away from Waweru. She apparently was lured back, this time to her death.

Bullshit excuses hit a new level

Dentist claims that female patients needed their breasts groped to treat TMJ (temporo-mandibular joint disorder).

Of course this "doctor" is calling it pectoral muscle massage .

Funny story. I myself have suffered from TMJ and saw several dentists about the problem. Not one of them suggested groping my breasts. We talked about using an overnight mouth guard, or getting a retainer. Eventually I opted for an inpatient procedure that grinded and "reshaped" my teeth and bite alignment. Haven't had many problems since -- Isn't it funny how you can get adequate medical care without feeling demeaned and violated?

I'm not saying that medical professionals don't find new ways to treat problems but COME ON!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking that this dentist could have done these "massages" with some supervision or perhaps just done the rubbing ABOVE CLOTHING....

Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Phillips gave Lew three new complaints, including one from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years. She took to wearing tight shirts with high necklines, "and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra," according to a police report.

Yeah, well you know how thick and cumbersome bras can be when you're trying to really work those pectoral muscles.

Complete and utter load of bunk. And not to be a total bitch, but this tidbit is a HUGE tip off.

Zaro [lawyer] said Anderson [dentist] needs to keep seeing patients so he can feed his seven children and pay for his defense.

It is my personal experience that only really, REALLY weird people have 7 kids anymore. If I ever meet a family with 7+ kids who seems normal, I'll take it back but 100 bucks says that this guy is some weird anti-birth control dude. It would be so typical--- sexually repressed, religious types who are secret freaks/criminals when it comes to sexually appropriate behavior.

Note to dentist charged with "two misdemeanor counts of battery and sexual battery": I hope you recognize irony when it bites you in the ass. My impersonation of this ass-backwards argument:

"Yes please don't take my job where I sexually abused my clients under the guise of treating their health problems-- I need it to pay the legal bill to prove that didn't happen-- REALLY it was just a pectoral massage!!!"

Yeah and you're just a pervert-asshole-creep masquerading as a professional.

UGH -- I have to go floss now.


**Update/Correction-- so as I was flossing, this funny thought occurred to me, MY grandmother had 11 kids, AND my boyfriend's grandmother had 13. And they weren't weird. Well, take that back, my grandma was kinda a nutter. However, I came to the conclusion that it was a different time and birth control was not legal.

However, some people may honestly feel medical birth control/barrier methods aren't right for them (or they legitimately want 7+ kids-- I guess that doesn't necessarily make you weird).

However the minute anyone starts lecturing me on the rhythm method, or how birth control is abortion and/or women should fulfill their Godly duty and have lots of children --- THEN they officially become weird.

The end. :)

I miss TLC -- w/ recent update

Sorry I haven't been posting here as much... I've been blogging over at Planned Parenthood along with some other talented writers.

Check it out

~ Tobes


PS: I really miss TLC *sigh*






Update-- from my comment field-- the question was raised -- WHY would you like TLC when their female singers had run-ins with the law, accusations of hitting boyfriends, drug arrest, and arson charges-- well here is my response.

The R&B/Rap music scene is mostly dominated by men and can often times be very misogynistic. TLC was one of the groups that successfully challenged this norm and did it while singing/rapping songs about issues that really affected women.

They sing about the beauty culture obsession in “Unpretty.” And then in "No scrubs" they talk about women desiring better men/partners rather than guys who “holler at” or simply disrespect them. And the song “Girl Talk” is just a great anthem as far as saying–- women are sexual, they want to be satisfied sexually and if you can’t handle that or aren’t gonna “put in work” then step off.

I loved so many of their messages and all personal scandals aside (I never heard about any domestic violence charges-- only the drug charge and the arson fiasco), these girls had some great hits. They were tough and they made music that spoke to women—

Like I said, in the entertainment biz, it’s HUGE and RARE to get attention for speaking about female experiences or at least letting a female give her opinion on human experience. If you don’t believe me-- CLICK HERE.

Thank God for SNL