Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Man alive, just WHAT are we going to do with kids these days!

via fabulous guest blogger Adrienne

I mean, they are just so spoiled. Parents are off working long… long…. Long days… sometimes not even getting home in time to have dinner with their children—what a sacrifice for mom and dad to make! Parents are working SO hard in order to make sure that their kids don't have to go through what they did: teasing over un-cool clothes or not having the world's best and most cutting edge STUFF. A High Def flat screen runs for $800, it could take a kid months mowing lawns to earn that kind of dough. So what are we to do? We have to work.

And now these girls in Maine and ALL OVER THE COUNTRY have the audacity to make an adult decision and start having sex—and then an even BIGGER decision by wanting access to birth control? Well pshaw! Who do these girls think they are—where are they learning this behavior? Got to be the liberal media, right? Those loud mouth feminists—those are the ones who are causing all the trouble, advocating for abortions and putting birth control pills into our daughter's hands when they should be at home, on the couch, watching TV like a normal 11 year old! Not having sex!

After all, I had to pull a double shift to get them that High Def flat screen TV so that they could watch their favorite program: That 70s Show. Watch this clip of Eric and Donna, a true love story for our times. That Jacque is a regular run of the mill hoochie, but DONNA… now THERE is a role model that I'm glad my girls have.

YAY!!! I mean… wait a minute. Is that how that was supposed to go? Donna…. STAYED? She gave up her dream of traveling the world, with our without Eric, and decided to stay… put her life on hold…. Just to stay with Eric?

Well okay. Maybe my 11-year-old shouldn't be watching That 70s show anyway. When I get home I'll have them show me how to program the V-Chip.

Here we go. Here's something that is a little more age appropriate, Beauty and the Beast. What little girl doesn't want to be a princess? That's what it really comes down to, right? Acting like a lady means that boys will respect you and treat you like a queen.

Belle is really the kind of girl that I would want to be friends with. What a good head on her shoulders. Look at that—making such a sacrifice for her Dad, and you just know how it will turn out. The Beast will throw her in a dungeon—well he has to, at first, right?—Then he will ask her on a date. That's nice of him, a really good gesture. And since Belle is such a lady, she will certainly be gracious—well, now wait a minute. Okay, okay… Belle surely you can say no, just for tonight. You're upset and you miss your Dad, that's okay. You can have tonight to pout, I'm sure the Beast will understand…. Right?

Hey, wait a minute. Is Belle trying to escape? And the Beast is going after her… to SAVE her, right? Well every woman needs a strong man to protect her, after all. Well she could have never made it on her own, she's just lucky that the Beast was willing to take her back. Well the details don't matter. What matters is the moral of the story: If you love someone enough, even if they abuse you, imprison you, and intimidate you, if you just stick by their side, eventually they will turn into a prince.

Wait. Is that what I want my daughter to think?

Fine, we'll put in Mulan. There's a good show with a STRONG female character—no sex in this film. See, there you go. Mulan wins the war, gets the blessing of the emperor and goes home to pay respects to her father. See how proud they are? No sex references. I'll just turn this off… oh wait. What was that, Granny? You aren't so hot on her bringing home a sword, you would have rather that she brought home a man?

But…. Can't it just be a movie about Mulan saving the country? Is that not enough? She needs to do all of that on high heels with perfect make up and hair?

Wow. Maybe if I were more in touch with what was actually parenting my child—the TV, the media, and other CHILDREN—I would understand why they are becoming sexually active… why they are getting pregnant… and why they feel they need birth control.


Anonymous said...

"YAY!!! I mean… wait a minute. Is that how that was supposed to go? Donna…. STAYED? She gave up her dream of traveling the world, with our without Eric, and decided to stay… put her life on hold…. Just to stay with Eric?"

Um. You're not very good at finding the meaningful information in a situation. This much is clear.

Adrienne said...

? So enlighten me. What was the meaningful information that you gleaned from That 70s Show? It must have been earth shattering (and INCREDIBLY subtle).